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Old 05-19-2014, 11:46 AM  
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
I'll be back.
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
I'm on a mission to shit

Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
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Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 12:09 PM   #31
RaiderH8r RaiderH8r is offline
Now it's Willie Time!
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Beating hippies
All I ask is that you do a weigh in before and after so we can truly grasp the scale of the thing.
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Old 05-19-2014, 12:09 PM   #32
ptlyon ptlyon is offline
Bono & Grbac wasn't enough
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Sioux City, IA
PS - have you seen Raggot?
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ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 12:09 PM   #33
booger booger is offline
Don't Tug on Superman's Cape
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: clear out in the sticks
Get a shop vac. Take the suction cup of the plunger handle. Don't throw the handle away. Could come in handy to beat that bastard if it gots hair, teeth, is breathing, and/or winks at you when it comes out. Duct tape suction cup to vac hose. Crank it up and wait awhile
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Old 05-19-2014, 12:10 PM   #34
srvy srvy is offline
Fight, build, win!
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: KC
This and that. Because you wont make the toilet.
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srvy is obviously part of the inner Circle.srvy is obviously part of the inner Circle.srvy is obviously part of the inner Circle.srvy is obviously part of the inner Circle.srvy is obviously part of the inner Circle.srvy is obviously part of the inner Circle.srvy is obviously part of the inner Circle.srvy is obviously part of the inner Circle.srvy is obviously part of the inner Circle.srvy is obviously part of the inner Circle.srvy is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 12:11 PM   #35
Dayze Dayze is offline
Resident Glue Sniffer
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Quote:
Originally Posted by htismaqe View Post
Saline laxative works just as well as is far less "intrusive".
didn’t know that.
I hope he didn’t make the entire thing up just to have an excuse for the enema.
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Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 12:11 PM   #36
RaiderH8r RaiderH8r is offline
Now it's Willie Time!
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Beating hippies


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Old 05-19-2014, 12:13 PM   #37
Dinny Bossa Nova Dinny Bossa Nova is offline
MVP
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
There's a butt plug joke in there somewhere.

Dinny
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Old 05-19-2014, 12:14 PM   #38
Dayze Dayze is offline
Resident Glue Sniffer
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
beads.
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Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 12:14 PM   #39
Otter Otter is offline
Live free or die hard
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Durango, CO
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dayze View Post
enema time. my newphew years back was stopped up for like 4-5 days for whatever reason, and he had to get 'cleaned out'.
Quote:
I routinely go 2-3 days without making a deposit.
I'm sure I'm broken. lol
I just want you to know up front that when I splice the genes together to make the Chiefs QB for 2020 your familes digestive system will not be included.
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Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 12:15 PM   #40
booger booger is offline
Don't Tug on Superman's Cape
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: clear out in the sticks
Quit soliciting those trannys on Craigslist man they got your shit all ****ed up
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booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.
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Old 05-19-2014, 12:15 PM   #41
gblowfish gblowfish is offline
Be Kind To Your Pets
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Glorious Independence, MO
So, did GoChiefs give birth yet?
Did it look like Mount Rushmore?

And more importantly, surgery for what?
Are you a woman now?
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gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 12:15 PM   #42
Dayze Dayze is offline
Resident Glue Sniffer
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 37,353
Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 12:17 PM   #43
Pasta Little Brioni Pasta Little Brioni is offline
Consuming CP souls
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: U.S.A.
Simply is watching this thread with glee
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Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 12:19 PM   #44
gblowfish gblowfish is offline
Be Kind To Your Pets
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Glorious Independence, MO
He needs a Mega Colon Blow power shake...
Posts: 40,812
gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 12:21 PM   #45
Pepe Silvia Pepe Silvia is offline
MVP
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Quote:
Originally Posted by gblowfish View Post
He needs a Mega Colon Blow power shake...
I was thinking the same thing.
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Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.
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