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Old 07-21-2012, 02:57 AM  
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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The Declaration Of Independence, MO - The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel

The Declaration Of Independence, MO


The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel


When in the course of football events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the fandom bands which have connected them with a Quarterback, and to assume among the Powers of the NFL, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Football and of the NFL's Goodell entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Quarterbacks are not created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain Unalienable Talents, that among these are Arm Strength, Accuracy and the Pursuit of Championships.

That to secure these talents, Quarterbacks are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the Consent of the Fanbase, That whenever any Form of Quarterback becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Quarterbacks, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Attendance At Arrowhead and Hope For A Championship.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Quarterbacks Long Established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably The Same Offense evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to Throw Off Such Quarterbacks, and to provide new Guards (however, neither left nor right) for their Future Rooting Interests.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Chiefs Fans; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Offense. The history of the present Quarterback is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an Absolute Run-First Offense over the State of Missouri.


To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.


Cassel 3:16


Spoiler!


Playoff Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Winning Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Lacks Deep Passing Ability


Spoiler!


Cassel Makes Offensive Linemen Worse


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Good Defenses At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Elite Quarterbacks At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!



We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of Chiefs Fans, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme GM of Arrowhead for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Chiefs, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Chiefs fans are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent of Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel.

That they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Patriot Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of New England, is and ought to be totally dissolved.

And that as Free and Independent Chiefs Fans, they have full Power to levy Boos, conclude Peace, contract Alliances with Dwayne Bowe, establish Commerce with Top Five Picks, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Fans may of right do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Playoff Fortunes and our Sacred Fandom.


SIGN BELOW


This post made possible by SNR, Coogs and The Gang Of 14.
Statistics compiled by ESPN, PFF and PFR

Dedicated to 'Hamas' Jenkins, our Patrick Henry, who said "Give Me Sanchez, Or Give Me Death."









For further details, please review The Pioli Facts.

The Declaration has been updated with statistics from 2012 and FINALIZED. Remove Matt Cassel from Kansas City. FOREVER.

Last edited by Hammock Parties; 12-26-2012 at 09:03 AM..
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Old 09-12-2012, 06:18 AM   #346
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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They're on board.

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Old 09-12-2012, 07:59 AM   #347
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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I have uncovered a shocking, shocking new statistic that will rock Matt Cassel lovers to their core.

The Chiefs' record with Matt Cassel when the opponent scores more than 24 points:

0-15


Matt Cassel's career record when the opponent scores more than 24 points.

2-19


Score 25+ points, and you've got a Cassel-led team licked.
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Old 09-13-2012, 05:48 AM   #348
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Casselsuck, 2012. It has begun.







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Old 09-13-2012, 05:54 AM   #349
007 007 is offline
Shaken. Not stirred.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
I have uncovered a shocking, shocking new statistic that will rock Matt Cassel lovers to their core.

The Chiefs' record with Matt Cassel when the opponent scores more than 24 points:

0-15


Matt Cassel's career record when the opponent scores more than 24 points.

2-19


Score 25+ points, and you've got a Cassel-led team licked.
and that is all anyone really needs to know.
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Old 09-13-2012, 05:59 AM   #350
BoneKrusher BoneKrusher is offline
That's Right
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Guru View Post
and that is all anyone really needs to know.
yep, i get this look on my Face

when i watch Caasel under pressure
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Old 09-13-2012, 06:04 AM   #351
Munson Munson is offline
Roy E.
 
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Old 09-13-2012, 08:46 AM   #352
Baby Lee Baby Lee is offline
Supporter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post

I see this and hear Elliot Gould comforting Courtney Cox 'There there my little Harmonica."

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Old 09-13-2012, 11:07 AM   #353
Sweet Daddy Hate Sweet Daddy Hate is offline
Unsparing
 
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The first gif is a ****in' screen...
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Old 09-13-2012, 12:34 PM   #354
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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I really hate this play.

1. Cassel sucks

2. His dependence on Dex sucks

3. Gonna wind up getting Dex killed/throwing picks before long

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Old 09-13-2012, 12:36 PM   #355
htismaqe htismaqe is offline
'Tis my eye!
 
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Location: Chiefsplanet
Hey dude, can you put some of the original post in Spoiler tags?

That way we don't have to scroll down through the whole thing in order to see new posts...
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Old 09-13-2012, 12:37 PM   #356
threebag threebag is offline
Snacks Are Under My Apron
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: The Edge
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
I really hate this play.

1. Cassel sucks

2. His dependence on Dex sucks

3. Gonna wind up getting Dex killed/throwing picks before long

Dex is already out of range
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Old 09-13-2012, 12:45 PM   #357
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by htismaqe View Post
Hey dude, can you put some of the original post in Spoiler tags?

That way we don't have to scroll down through the whole thing in order to see new posts...
Can't, character limit is reached.

Deal with it.
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Old 09-13-2012, 12:56 PM   #358
Frosty Frosty is online now
Go Beavers!
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by htismaqe View Post
Hey dude, can you put some of the original post in Spoiler tags?

That way we don't have to scroll down through the whole thing in order to see new posts...
Clayhole loves to make gigantic OP's in his his threads and won't do anything about it when people complain. It's ****ing annoying.
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Frosty 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Frosty 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Frosty 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Frosty 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Frosty 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Frosty 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Frosty 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Frosty 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Frosty 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Frosty 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Frosty 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.
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Old 09-13-2012, 12:58 PM   #359
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Children in Africa are starving and you're complaining about having to scroll for 3 seconds.
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Old 09-13-2012, 01:00 PM   #360
htismaqe htismaqe is offline
'Tis my eye!
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Chiefsplanet
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
Children in Africa are starving and you're complaining about having to scroll for 3 seconds.
It wouldn't be hard to replace your quote tags with spoiler tags. It wouldn't affect the word count at all.

Get over yourself.
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