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**RealSNR** · 09-25-2005, 10:50 AM

Q: What's the difference between a bachelor and a husband?

A: A bachelor doesn't like what he sees in the kitchen and goes to bed. A husband doesn't like what he sees in bed and goes to the kitchen.

Frankie · 09-25-2005, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SNR

Q: What's the difference between a bachelor and a husband?

A: A bachelor doesn't like what he sees in the kitchen and goes to bed. A husband doesn't like what he sees in bed and goes to the kitchen.

wildwill2112 · 01-28-2009, 09:09 AM

So a termite walks into a bar and asks where is the bar tender.

SNAFU · 12-07-2006, 09:38 PM

Good as place as any to break my cherry.

Two guys apply for a creative marketing position and are told they need to quickly deliver a poem with the word “Timbuktu” to see who is better at spontaneous creativity.

The first guy walks into the personnel director’s office and says,
Across the burning blazing sand
Marched the merchants caravan
Camels marching two by two
Destination: Timbuktu

The second guy marches in and delivers. Says, “Here it is sir, true story even.”
A hunting Tim and I went
We came across three whores in a tent
Them being three, and us being two
I bucked one and Tim buck’d two

KS Smitty · 12-07-2006, 11:19 PM

Which Planteer caused this???

Christmas has been cancelled and it is all your fault because you told Santa you had been good this year.....and Santa died laughing!

Fairplay · 12-09-2006, 12:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SNAFU

Good as place as any to break my cherry.

Two guys apply for a creative marketing position and are told they need to quickly deliver a poem with the word “Timbuktu” to see who is better at spontaneous creativity.

The first guy walks into the personnel director’s office and says,
Across the burning blazing sand
Marched the merchants caravan
Camels marching two by two
Destination: Timbuktu

The second guy marches in and delivers. Says, “Here it is sir, true story even.”
A hunting Tim and I went
We came across three whores in a tent
Them being three, and us being two
I bucked one and Tim buck’d two

Thats cool. Now move on to your next post.

munkey · 09-19-2007, 08:33 AM

Body: 1. HER DIARY

Tonight I thought he was acting weird. We had made

plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping

with my friends all day long, so I thought he was

upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made

no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested

that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed

but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was

wrong; he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault

that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with

me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I

loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't

explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say I

love you too. When we got home I felt as if I had lost

him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He

just sat there and watched T.V. He seemed distant and

absent. Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 10

minutes later he came to bed, and to my surprise he

responded to my caress and we made love, but I still

felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were

somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know

what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with

someone else. My life is a disaster.

2. HIS DIARY

I didn't catch any fish today, but at least I got laid.

Slayer Diablo · 06-25-2008, 03:45 PM

"...I've found that whenever I'm in a mixed crowd of lawyers and non-lawyers, the lawyers believe my jokes aren't funny and the non-lawyers think they're true."

IIRC, that was by Chief Justice JR...

greg63 · 06-25-2008, 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Slayer

"...I've found that whenever I'm in a mixed crowd of lawyers and non-lawyers, the lawyers believe my jokes aren't funny and the non-lawyers think they're true."

IIRC, that was by Chief Justice JR...

I think a bus load of lawyers rolling over the edge of a very high cliff is a good start.

go bo · 09-25-2005, 10:13 AM

how 'bout jokes that are only a little dirty?

Eleazar · 09-25-2005, 11:44 AM

Two molecules were walking down the street and accidentally bumped into each other. The first molecule says, "I'm sorry, are you all right?" and the second one says "No, I lost an electron!" The first one says "Well, are you sure?" so the second one replies, "Yes, I'm positive."

Frankie · 09-25-2005, 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cochise

Two molecules were walking down the street and accidentally bumped into each other. The first molecule says, "I'm sorry, are you all right?" and the second one says "No, I lost an electron!" The first one says "Well, are you sure?" so the second one replies, "Yes, I'm positive."

Very clever. See what I mean? I want some jokes out of this thread that I can get around mom and her friends. Thanks.

**Skip Towne** · 09-25-2005, 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frankie

Very clever. See what I mean? I want some jokes out of this thread that I can get around mom and her friends. Thanks.

OK, so the teacher says to little Johnny.....................and he says rats, great big fucking rats with 12" dicks.

09-25-2005, 10:50 AM	#2
RealSNR Special Teams ACE!!! RealSNR's Avatar Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Where the hell is SNR	Q: What's the difference between a bachelor and a husband? A: A bachelor doesn't like what he sees in the kitchen and goes to bed. A husband doesn't like what he sees in bed and goes to the kitchen.
Posts: 90,640

01-28-2009, 09:09 AM	#4
wildwill2112 Rookie Join Date: Jun 2008	So a termite walks into a bar and asks where is the bar tender.
Posts: 5

12-07-2006, 09:38 PM	#6
SNAFU Starter Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: BFE Okie	Good as place as any to break my cherry. Two guys apply for a creative marketing position and are told they need to quickly deliver a poem with the word “Timbuktu” to see who is better at spontaneous creativity. The first guy walks into the personnel director’s office and says, Across the burning blazing sand Marched the merchants caravan Camels marching two by two Destination: Timbuktu The second guy marches in and delivers. Says, “Here it is sir, true story even.” A hunting Tim and I went We came across three whores in a tent Them being three, and us being two I bucked one and Tim buck’d two
Posts: 85

12-07-2006, 11:19 PM	#7
KS Smitty Cool as a Cucumber KS Smitty's Avatar Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: on the edge	Which Planteer caused this??? Christmas has been cancelled and it is all your fault because you told Santa you had been good this year.....and Santa died laughing!
Posts: 3,822

09-19-2007, 08:33 AM	#9
munkey Veteran munkey's Avatar Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Bend Oregon	Body: 1. HER DIARY Tonight I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong; he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say I love you too. When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched T.V. He seemed distant and absent. Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed, and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster. 2. HIS DIARY I didn't catch any fish today, but at least I got laid.
Posts: 3,140

06-25-2008, 03:45 PM	#10
Slayer Diablo Cross with me Slayer Diablo's Avatar Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Kansas City, MO	"...I've found that whenever I'm in a mixed crowd of lawyers and non-lawyers, the lawyers believe my jokes aren't funny and the non-lawyers think they're true." IIRC, that was by Chief Justice JR...
Posts: 11,673

09-25-2005, 10:13 AM	#12
go bo Flop = Man of Steel!! go bo's Avatar Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: independence	how 'bout jokes that are only a little dirty?
Posts: 36,678

09-25-2005, 11:44 AM	#13
Eleazar Beyond the Rapids Eleazar's Avatar Join Date: May 2003 Location: Langley, VA	Two molecules were walking down the street and accidentally bumped into each other. The first molecule says, "I'm sorry, are you all right?" and the second one says "No, I lost an electron!" The first one says "Well, are you sure?" so the second one replies, "Yes, I'm positive."
Posts: 80,659