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View Poll Results: Is Maine the worst f'ing state in the Union?
Yes. 5 15.63%
If I could trade Maine for a Canadian province, I would, even if it's that French one. 11 34.38%
I don't know anything about Maine. I only go to interesting places that don't have speed traps. 23 71.88%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 32. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 09-17-2018, 10:56 PM  
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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Why Maine is the worst f'ing state in the Union

I made a trip to Maine this week, and the state sucks. It's terrible. Here's why it's terrible, and I'm sure there are other reasons.

Toll roads. You can't even build your own roads so you make people have to stop and pay every ten minutes. Manage your money better, Maine.

Lobster rolls. Seriously, what is this? They're advertised everywhere and I finally got one, and it's just some plain lobster on a bun with some lettuce. Nothing else. Why is it called a roll? It's just a sandwich and not a very creative sandwich at that. I've made ham sandwiches at home that boasted more complexity. There's not even any drawn butter for the lobster. What a joke.

Maine has stupid geographic names. Wassamattamekong. Mustafaateanorca. Wakkawakkamoosebegone. Grow up, people. Give your stupid cities names that are reasonable.

Their state patrol gives innocent people speeding tickets just because they're driving in a rental car with Illinois plates. They have poorly marked speed limits and then give innocent people tickets who think that they're traveling less than six miles over the speed limit, and they then get informed that, 'nooooo, you're more than 10 mph so I can give you a ticket and then go sit in my car and watch moose porn for the rest of my shift.' This happens even if the visitor has not had a speeding ticket in 37 years.

No one wants to be near Maine. It's like the smelly kid in the cafeteria. Only one state will even touch it. That's practically impossible for a state that's not an island. New Hampshire lost a bet or something.

The best football player that sorry state ever produced is Jovan Belcher. Just run with that thought for a few minutes.

They had a scenic overlook of the highest peak in Maine. It's 5,264 feet. My house is higher than that. Seriously. My house is at 5,300 feet. Screw you and your tiny mountains, Maine.

Statehood? No one wanted Maine. It only got in because we wanted Missouri. Maine got in because of a compromise, not because we wanted it. Maine is the ugly girl trying to get into the night club with her hot friend.

And on that note, where was Maine during the revolution? People in New Hampshire and Massachusetts were risking their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor to secure freedom and democracy. People in Maine were just standing around in their red plaid writing tickets to revolutionary travelers.

Maine killed all of the local Indians with their interesting languages.

Seriously, give that monosyllabic dump back to Canada. It's useless.

Last edited by Rain Man; 09-17-2018 at 11:12 PM..
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Old 09-18-2018, 10:44 PM   #106
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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Originally Posted by Bugeater View Post
Hey, you're close by, can you go spend a week there in January and report back to me? I would but then I'd have to drive across Nebraska two more times. I'm sure you understand.
Glad to do it. I'll charge you my normal hourly rate. You know it's worth it.
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Old 09-18-2018, 11:14 PM   #107
NJChiefsFan NJChiefsFan is offline
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Takes for ****ing ever!
On my road trips to KC that is the worst part. That and the crazy mountains on 78.
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Old 09-19-2018, 06:13 AM   #108
Bwana Bwana is offline
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Yeah, I would think that Cheyenne's climate is similar to that of Fort Collins, which is quite tolerable. I also hear a lot about the wind in Wyoming, but I haven't been outside there enough to have any knowledge of it. I kind of like Cheyenne as a town. It's a bit small, but I think I could live there. Same with Laramie, and Laramie has the advantage of being a college town.
The only Issue with that area is I-80 between Cheyenne and Laramie in the winter. As I'm sure you well know, it's only about 50 miles, but that stretch can get brutal. The whiteouts are as bad as it gets. There have been some huge pileups on that road because of zero visibility.
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Old 09-19-2018, 06:54 AM   #109
T-post Tom T-post Tom is offline
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How can anyone approve of a state that only has one syllable in its name?
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Old 09-19-2018, 07:34 AM   #110
Bugeater Bugeater is offline
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Glad to do it. I'll charge you my normal hourly rate. You know it's worth it.
You got it. One frosty mug of root beer coming up.

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Old 09-19-2018, 07:36 AM   #111
BucEyedPea BucEyedPea is offline
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I view Amnorix as the resident expert on New England, so I'm convinced that my take on Maine is correct. If you like Maine and wish to change my opinion, you may send a check to help cover my $129 fine. I will start a gofundme called, "Pay Here To Make People Not Hate Maine."
I have to wonder how many times he's been to be qualified? I have family there. So I'm more of an expert. It's different when you live there, but you're free to hate it. I just think you missed the best parts. Their toll highways are no fun and lobster is always expensive but you can get a big fat roll at some joints.

So where in Maine did you go?
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Old 09-19-2018, 07:37 AM   #112
BucEyedPea BucEyedPea is offline
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Originally Posted by T-post Tom View Post
How can anyone approve of a state that only has one syllable in its name?
So call it Mainiacs instead. They get called that.
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Old 09-19-2018, 07:41 AM   #113
Amnorix Amnorix is offline
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Did you guys who went to Maine go at the right time of season to enjoy all the blueberry goodness? They have blueberry flavored EVERYTHING.

Here's a link to one website. Blueberry BBQ sauce anyone? Blueberry honey? I remember being up there and thinking WTF is with blueberries in everything. Then I learned that Maine produces 99% of America's blueberries.

https://wildblueberryproducts.com/online-catalog.html
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Old 09-19-2018, 07:44 AM   #114
Bugeater Bugeater is offline
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The only Issue with that area is I-80 between Cheyenne and Laramie in the winter. As I'm sure you well know, it's only about 50 miles, but that stretch can get brutal. The whiteouts are as bad as it gets. There have been some huge pileups on that road because of zero visibility.
Uhhh...I guess. A quick Google search turns up all kinds of fun stuff.












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Old 09-19-2018, 08:36 AM   #115
BucEyedPea BucEyedPea is offline
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Originally Posted by Amnorix View Post
Did you guys who went to Maine go at the right time of season to enjoy all the blueberry goodness? They have blueberry flavored EVERYTHING.

Here's a link to one website. Blueberry BBQ sauce anyone? Blueberry honey? I remember being up there and thinking WTF is with blueberries in everything. Then I learned that Maine produces 99% of America's blueberries.

https://wildblueberryproducts.com/online-catalog.html
They are the BEST blueberries in the whole world. Little things bursting with flavor. I buy 'em frozen here at Costco and make my own sauce.

We pick 'em wild up there during the summer.
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Old 09-19-2018, 08:43 AM   #116
rabblerouser rabblerouser is offline
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Maybe they pile the lobster higher on lobster rolls they make for people who pull up in Missouri vehicles too.
They just give you the while lobster, a loaf of bread, and ramakin of melted butter.
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Old 09-19-2018, 08:50 AM   #117
BucEyedPea BucEyedPea is offline
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Originally Posted by rabblerouser View Post
They just give you the while lobster, a loaf of bread, and ramakin of melted butter.
There's a Connecticut Lobstah roll which is done with butter and the mayo one which is really a lobster salad.

There was a food truck in Maine I got a lobstah roll from 3 yrs ago, that was not expensive and loaded with lobster piled high falling out of the roll of bread. Really, a very generous serving. Best to go down to the wharfs in Portland to the fresh fish markets for a freshly caught lobster and make your own. They're not expensive that way. You can even taste some of the saltwater brine in a freshly boiled lobster— which I like. It's not too strong but makes if taste like it's from the sea more.
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Old 09-19-2018, 09:35 AM   #118
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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Originally Posted by T-post Tom View Post
How can anyone approve of a state that only has one syllable in its name?
I can see how it came about. Some colonial guy was asking representatives "what shall your state be called?"

Dapperly dressed Boston guy with powdered wig: "We would like to be known as the Commonwealth of Massachusetts."

Classy looking Providence guy in blue minuteman regalia: We shall be the State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations."

Goober in Elmer Fudd hat from Augusta with slow redneck accent. "Maine."
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Old 09-19-2018, 09:39 AM   #119
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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Originally Posted by BucEyedPea View Post
I have to wonder how many times he's been to be qualified? I have family there. So I'm more of an expert. It's different when you live there, but you're free to hate it. I just think you missed the best parts. Their toll highways are no fun and lobster is always expensive but you can get a big fat roll at some joints.

So where in Maine did you go?
You can't claim to be an expert and then talk up boring lobster lettuce sandwiches. Your credibility was destroyed with the whole lobster roll thing. Sorry about that. Pick some other state.
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Old 09-19-2018, 09:43 AM   #120
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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Originally Posted by Amnorix View Post
Did you guys who went to Maine go at the right time of season to enjoy all the blueberry goodness? They have blueberry flavored EVERYTHING.

Here's a link to one website. Blueberry BBQ sauce anyone? Blueberry honey? I remember being up there and thinking WTF is with blueberries in everything. Then I learned that Maine produces 99% of America's blueberries.

https://wildblueberryproducts.com/online-catalog.html
This makes a lot of sense because blueberries are the most boring fruit on the planet. I've never understood the appeal of blueberries. Every other berry has a hundred times more flavor.

I just despise Maine more with every day that passes.
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