Why Maine is the worst f'ing state in the Union

[Rain Man]

I made a trip to Maine this week, and the state sucks. It's terrible. Here's why it's terrible, and I'm sure there are other reasons.

Toll roads. You can't even build your own roads so you make people have to stop and pay every ten minutes. Manage your money better, Maine.

Lobster rolls. Seriously, what is this? They're advertised everywhere and I finally got one, and it's just some plain lobster on a bun with some lettuce. Nothing else. Why is it called a roll? It's just a sandwich and not a very creative sandwich at that. I've made ham sandwiches at home that boasted more complexity. There's not even any drawn butter for the lobster. What a joke.

Maine has stupid geographic names. Wassamattamekong. Mustafaateanorca. Wakkawakkamoosebegone. Grow up, people. Give your stupid cities names that are reasonable.

Their state patrol gives innocent people speeding tickets just because they're driving in a rental car with Illinois plates. They have poorly marked speed limits and then give innocent people tickets who think that they're traveling less than six miles over the speed limit, and they then get informed that, 'nooooo, you're more than 10 mph so I can give you a ticket and then go sit in my car and watch moose porn for the rest of my shift.' This happens even if the visitor has not had a speeding ticket in 37 years.

No one wants to be near Maine. It's like the smelly kid in the cafeteria. Only one state will even touch it. That's practically impossible for a state that's not an island. New Hampshire lost a bet or something.

The best football player that sorry state ever produced is Jovan Belcher. Just run with that thought for a few minutes.

They had a scenic overlook of the highest peak in Maine. It's 5,264 feet. My house is higher than that. Seriously. My house is at 5,300 feet. Screw you and your tiny mountains, Maine.

Statehood? No one wanted Maine. It only got in because we wanted Missouri. Maine got in because of a compromise, not because we wanted it. Maine is the ugly girl trying to get into the night club with her hot friend.

And on that note, where was Maine during the revolution? People in New Hampshire and Massachusetts were risking their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor to secure freedom and democracy. People in Maine were just standing around in their red plaid writing tickets to revolutionary travelers.

Maine killed all of the local Indians with their interesting languages.

Seriously, give that monosyllabic dump back to Canada. It's useless.

[Rain Man]

I'm now at Denver International Airport waiting for my missing bag, because some illiterate Maine yokel probably put it on the wrong flight.

[Unclesam]

y u go maine?

[Rain Man]

On the subject of desolate drives, I'll weigh in.

I'm in the minority, but I don't mind the big flat vistas in Kansas and Wyoming and eastern Colorado. I like seeing the horizon and I like the vastness of it.

It's been a while since I've crossed Illinois/Indiana/Ohio, but I remember it being less interesting than the plains. I couldn't see the horizon, but what I was seeing wasn't overly interesting.

I drove from Boston to Caribou on this Maine debacle. That's a long way. I took the interstate up, and then took the coastal highway for part of the way back. The coastal highway was an annoyance because it was slower and you couldn't see the coast other than a few places. The highway actually wasn't bad because it had some variation in terrain and the trees were different than I usually see. But the speed traps ruined it.

Honestly, the worst drives I've done have been in Georgia. It's perfectly flat and all you can see are trees on either side, and they close in on you. The trees there didn't look natural for some reason. It almost seemed like someone planted the trees just to block the views. Those drives have been pretty monotonous.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Unclesam

y u go maine?

Because it there.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by ping2000

Can Maine play safety?

Maine is a cheap shot thug. We don't want Maine on our team. Maine is the Broncos of states. That's why their site is called the Orange Maine.

[Frazod]

Remember the Maine!

[Bugeater]

Originally Posted by lewdog

Yea bud you might wanna do a little more research on winters there compared to the Midwest.

You'll see consistent below zero temps. You'll see numerous -30 degree temps. You'll see crazy snow fall levels at times. You'll see wind following the snow that will knock your dick in the dirt.

Huh, that's not really what we've heard. It may be like that in areas but from what I understand Cheyenne rarely sees much snow, and when it does, the wind blows it away. But yeah, the wind is what we hear about, I guess it's pretty relentless. Haven't heard anything about sub zero temps either. But you can be sure I'll be watching the weather there this winter.

And even if they are worse, I'm hoping the dry summers make up for it. Because where I'm at now the weather pretty much sucks year around. We get some nice days here and there, but never for an extended amount of time and we don't know far enough ahead of time to be able to plan for them. It's a constant game of Russian Roulette.

[lewdog]

Originally Posted by Bugeater

Huh, that's not really what we've heard. It may be like that in areas but from what I understand Cheyenne rarely sees much snow, and when it does, the wind blows it away. But yeah, the wind is what we hear about, I guess it's pretty relentless. Haven't heard anything about sub zero temps either. But you can be sure I'll be watching the weather there this winter.

And even if they are worse, I'm hoping the dry summers make up for it. Because where I'm at now the weather pretty much sucks year around. We get some nice days here and there, but never for an extended amount of time and we don't know far enough ahead of time to be able to plan for them. It's a constant game of Russian Roulette.

Oh I wasn't sure if your post was about Cheyenne or Wyoming in general. Then yes, Cheyenne is better than say western Wyoming weather-wise.

Fort Collins, CO is nice but I suppose Cheyenne is close enough and the cost of living is much cheaper than Fort Collins.

[Bugeater]

Originally Posted by lewdog

Oh I wasn't sure if your post was about Cheyenne or Wyoming in general. Then yes, Cheyenne is better than say western Wyoming weather-wise.

Fort Collins, CO is nice but I suppose Cheyenne is close enough and the cost of living is much cheaper than Fort Collins.

That's why we're looking up that way. Anywhere in Colorado is insane. Housing is a little higher in Cheyenne than it is here, but our property taxes would be 50% of what we're paying here. And no state income tax. And way less people.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Bugeater

That's why we're looking up that way. Anywhere in Colorado is insane. Housing is a little higher in Cheyenne than it is here, but our property taxes would be 50% of what we're paying here. And no state income tax. And way less people.

Yeah, I would think that Cheyenne's climate is similar to that of Fort Collins, which is quite tolerable. I also hear a lot about the wind in Wyoming, but I haven't been outside there enough to have any knowledge of it. I kind of like Cheyenne as a town. It's a bit small, but I think I could live there. Same with Laramie, and Laramie has the advantage of being a college town.

[patteeu]

I drove through Maine a couple of years ago. I kind of enjoyed the lobster roll I had. And I didn't have any problem speeding across the state although now that Rain Man explains the history, it's probably because I had Missouri plates and the people up there are grateful we got them in the Union.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by patteeu

I drove through Maine a couple of years ago. I kind of enjoyed the lobster roll I had. And I didn't have any problem speeding across the state although now that Rain Man explains the history, it's probably because I had Missouri plates and the people up there are grateful we got them in the Union.

Good point. That's probably a free pass. Without Missouri, they'd all be speaking Puerto Rican.

[patteeu]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Good point. That's probably a free pass. Without Missouri, they'd all be speaking Puerto Rican.

Maybe they pile the lobster higher on lobster rolls they make for people who pull up in Missouri vehicles too.

[Bugeater]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Yeah, I would think that Cheyenne's climate is similar to that of Fort Collins, which is quite tolerable. I also hear a lot about the wind in Wyoming, but I haven't been outside there enough to have any knowledge of it. I kind of like Cheyenne as a town. It's a bit small, but I think I could live there. Same with Laramie, and Laramie has the advantage of being a college town.

Hey, you're close by, can you go spend a week there in January and report back to me? I would but then I'd have to drive across Nebraska two more times. I'm sure you understand.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by patteeu

Maybe they pile the lobster higher on lobster rolls they make for people who pull up in Missouri vehicles too.

I bet that's it. I had Illinois plates, and Maine-ards probably don't know where that is.