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Old 02-18-2005, 10:36 PM  
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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I just walked in on a coworker...
whacking off to Internet porn AT MY DESK!

I walk into the office at 10:15 p.m., only 5 hours after we close. I'm picking up some more stuff for my day tomorrow and clocking out... I walk back to my desk, the door's closed and I think, "Hmm... the door's closed. That's weird." I open it up and there's my coworker, who frantically turns the monitor off (I didn't see what kind of porn it was) and begins zipping his fly. I didn't actually notice him zipping up till I said, "Hey, what are you still doing here?" That's when I saw him buttoning/zipping the pants...

Then he proceeds to say, "Nothing, what are you doing here?" I answer, "Just clocking out." By this time, I'm back in the hallway, so he knows I'm not standing there just looking at him. Then he asks again... I answer again. He asks again... like fucking Rainman (not you, Rainman... Dustin Hoffman's Rainman, which isn't actually Dustin Hoffman, but you know what I mean...). Then he skiddadles out of the office without saying anything (which I don't blame him for).

Now, I had been noticing over the last few months porn sites on my computer's history... I wasn't worried about being caught or anything, I'm the tech guy and I know it wasn't me. That's what I have a home computer for. I hope this little scare will convince him that he probably shouldn't do that at work anymore... but, damn... now I gotta get a new keyboard and I just got this one. Sick fucker.
Last edited by Fire Me Boy!; 02-19-2005 at 07:11 AM..
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Old 02-18-2005, 11:01 PM   #16
stumppy stumppy is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gochiefs
I see. Well I have a little story to share.

At my first newspaper job I had the place all alone to myself one night (I had a night class and being the editor, a key to the office ). I decided to let off a little steam before class.
Gee, who woulda thought you'd want to turn a masturbation thread into something about yourself.






Seen this coming a mile away.
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Old 02-18-2005, 11:01 PM   #17
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stumppy
Gee, who woulda thought you'd want to turn a masturbation thread into something about yourself.






Seen this coming a mile away.
What? It's completely relevant to the topic. Stop being a harpy.
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Old 02-18-2005, 11:06 PM   #18
stumppy stumppy is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gochiefs
What? It's completely relevant to the topic. Stop being a harpy.
We all know.
It's ALWAYS about you isn't it ?
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Old 02-18-2005, 11:07 PM   #19
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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HEY! Take is somewhere else... we have a bigger problem here. There's splooge on my desk! CAN'T YOU SEE THE BIGGER PICTURE?
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Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 02-18-2005, 11:08 PM   #20
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stumppy
We all know.
It's ALWAYS about you isn't it ?
No. I haven't even been here for the last two hours.
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Old 02-18-2005, 11:08 PM   #21
Spott Spott is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gochiefs
I see. Well I have a little story to share.

At my first newspaper job I had the place all alone to myself one night (I had a night class and being the editor, a key to the office ). I decided to let off a little steam before class.
They have Star Wars porn sites?
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Old 02-18-2005, 11:08 PM   #22
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy!
HEY! Take is somewhere else... we have a bigger problem here. There's splooge on my desk! CAN'T YOU SEE THE BIGGER PICTURE?
He didn't even clean up? Gross.
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Old 02-18-2005, 11:08 PM   #23
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mizzou5
They have Star Wars porn sites?
Dude, they have porn sites for EVERYTHING.
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Old 02-18-2005, 11:08 PM   #24
stumppy stumppy is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy!
HEY! Take is somewhere else... we have a bigger problem here. There's splooge on my desk! CAN'T YOU SEE THE BIGGER PICTURE?

UH, I probably could if your screen wasn't smeered.
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Old 02-18-2005, 11:09 PM   #25
Miles Miles is offline
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Sounds like you will need to burn everything.
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Old 02-18-2005, 11:09 PM   #26
mcan mcan is offline
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No big whoop...

You should enthusiastically drop euphamisms and puns all day for the next couple of weeks. Then let him off the hook with a Hallmark Card that says something like,

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
and so are your balls apparently...
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Old 02-18-2005, 11:11 PM   #27
CHIEF4EVER CHIEF4EVER is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy!
whacking off to Internet porn AT MY DESK!

I walk into the office at 10:15 p.m., only 5 hours after we close. I'm picking up some more stuff for my day tomorrow and clocking out... I walk back to my desk, the door's closed and I think, "Hmm... the door's closed. That's weird." I open it up and there's my coworker, who frantically turns the monitor off (I didn't see what kind of porn it was) and begins zipping his fly. I didn't actually notice him zipping up till I said, "Hey, what are you still doing here?" That's when I saw him buttoning/zipping the pants...

Then he proceeds to say, "Nothing, what are you doing here?" I answer, "Just clocking out." By this time, I'm back in the hallway, so he knows I'm not standing there just looking at him. Then he asks again... I answer again. He asks again... like fucking Rainman (not you, Rainman... Dustin Hoffman's Rainman, which isn't actually Dustin Hoffman, but you know what I mean...). Then he skiddadles out of the office without saying anything (which I don't blame him for).

Now, I had been noticing over the last few months porn sites on my computer's history... I wasn't worried about being caught or anything, I'm the tech guy and I know it wasn't me. That's what I have a home computer for. I hope this little scare will convince him that he probably shouldn't do that at work anymore... but, damn... now I gotta get a new keyboard and I just got this one. Sick fucker.


Unbelievable...
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Old 02-18-2005, 11:11 PM   #28
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gochiefs
He didn't even clean up? Gross.
I assume he didn't even finish... I certainly didn't stick around to find out. I was assuming the worst.
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Old 02-18-2005, 11:12 PM   #29
Michael Michigan Michael Michigan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy!
whacking off to Internet porn AT MY DESK!

I walk into the office at 10:15 p.m., only 5 hours after we close. I'm picking up some more stuff for my day tomorrow and clocking out... I walk back to my desk, the door's closed and I think, "Hmm... the door's closed. That's weird." I open it up and there's my coworker, who frantically turns the monitor off (I didn't see what kind of porn it was) and begins zipping his fly. I didn't actually notice him zipping up till I said, "Hey, what are you still doing here?"


That's when I saw him buttoning/zipping the pants...
I'd give him a break.

If he can zip and button his pants with a hard johnson he's probably seen enough embarrassment for one lifetime.
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Old 02-18-2005, 11:18 PM   #30
Wile_E_Coyote Wile_E_Coyote is offline
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how did you gain access to this site so quickly...no wait, you have shared enough for one day
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