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Old 05-19-2014, 11:46 AM  
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
I'll be back.
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
I'm on a mission to shit

Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
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Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 05:18 PM   #166
htismaqe htismaqe is offline
'Tis my eye!
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Chiefsplanet
Quote:
Originally Posted by JASONSAUTO View Post
My daughter takes miralax and shits very soon afterward.


It works or her like a champ
Posted via Mobile Device
Does she take it regularly?
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htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 05:20 PM   #167
BigRedChief BigRedChief is offline
Has a particular set of skills
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: On the water
Without reading this thread, is it worthy of Hall of Classics consideration yet?
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BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 05:20 PM   #168
SAUTO SAUTO is offline
Shit
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by htismaqe View Post
Does she take it regularly?
Not anymore. Long story. But it will still push her through if she has issues
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SAUTO is obviously part of the inner Circle.SAUTO is obviously part of the inner Circle.SAUTO is obviously part of the inner Circle.SAUTO is obviously part of the inner Circle.SAUTO is obviously part of the inner Circle.SAUTO is obviously part of the inner Circle.SAUTO is obviously part of the inner Circle.SAUTO is obviously part of the inner Circle.SAUTO is obviously part of the inner Circle.SAUTO is obviously part of the inner Circle.SAUTO is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 05:20 PM   #169
htismaqe htismaqe is offline
'Tis my eye!
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Chiefsplanet
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigRedChief View Post
Without reading this thread, is it worthy of Hall of Classics consideration yet?
Not yet. He's still working it up.
Posts: 100,022
htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 05:22 PM   #170
htismaqe htismaqe is offline
'Tis my eye!
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Chiefsplanet
Quote:
Originally Posted by JASONSAUTO View Post
Not anymore. Long story. But it will still push her through if she has issues
Posted via Mobile Device
Interesting. The active ingredient should take at least 24 hours to work and more often 2-3 days. Regular use can change that, though.

For what Clay is going through, I definitely wouldn't recommend it. Especially not over magnesium citrate, which is as close to a miracle cure as you're ever going to find.
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htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 05:26 PM   #171
SAUTO SAUTO is offline
Shit
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
He should just take out his plug.
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SAUTO is obviously part of the inner Circle.SAUTO is obviously part of the inner Circle.SAUTO is obviously part of the inner Circle.SAUTO is obviously part of the inner Circle.SAUTO is obviously part of the inner Circle.SAUTO is obviously part of the inner Circle.SAUTO is obviously part of the inner Circle.SAUTO is obviously part of the inner Circle.SAUTO is obviously part of the inner Circle.SAUTO is obviously part of the inner Circle.SAUTO is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 05:27 PM   #172
TribalElder TribalElder is offline
Arrowhead Trail of Tears
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: KansasCity
Currently in progress


Oh... Wait..... Mission complete
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TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 05:27 PM   #173
Tombstone RJ Tombstone RJ is offline
Broncos' Fan Extraordinaire!
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Denver
Quote:
Originally Posted by Count Zarth View Post
Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
oh don't worry, you will shit. Actually you won't do a conventional crap, it will be more like diarrhea on steroids.
Posts: 6,151
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Old 05-19-2014, 05:28 PM   #174
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
I'll be back.
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Quote:
Originally Posted by OnTheWarpath58 View Post
Jesus. Guessing you're taking some pain pills from the surgery?

I remember when I had an inguinal hernia surgery. They did it the old fashioned way - not laproscopically - and between the pain pills clogging me up and not having any strength in my core, it was a rough week.

Good luck. You're going to need it.
Yep.

Also no strength in my core right now.

I feel bloated as ****.
Posts: 276,592
Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 05:31 PM   #175
TribalElder TribalElder is offline
Arrowhead Trail of Tears
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: KansasCity
Taco Bell to the rescue!
Posts: 29,081
TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 05:32 PM   #176
Simplicity Simplicity is offline
Iowa B1G West Champs
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Front Range of Colorado
Sounds like shits about to go down.
Posts: 3,693
Simplicity would the whole thing.Simplicity would the whole thing.Simplicity would the whole thing.Simplicity would the whole thing.Simplicity would the whole thing.Simplicity would the whole thing.Simplicity would the whole thing.Simplicity would the whole thing.Simplicity would the whole thing.Simplicity would the whole thing.Simplicity would the whole thing.
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Old 05-19-2014, 05:35 PM   #177
bevischief bevischief is offline
....
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Somewhere Kansas
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigRedChief View Post
Without reading this thread, is it worthy of Hall of Classics consideration yet?
Maybe after he gives birth...
Posts: 27,731
bevischief is obviously part of the inner Circle.bevischief is obviously part of the inner Circle.bevischief is obviously part of the inner Circle.bevischief is obviously part of the inner Circle.bevischief is obviously part of the inner Circle.bevischief is obviously part of the inner Circle.bevischief is obviously part of the inner Circle.bevischief is obviously part of the inner Circle.bevischief is obviously part of the inner Circle.bevischief is obviously part of the inner Circle.bevischief is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 05:38 PM   #178
OnTheWarpath15 OnTheWarpath15 is offline
MVP
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 60,149
OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 05:38 PM   #179
T-Town T-Town is offline
Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Dayton Ohio
Epsom salt works for me everytime.
Posts: 264
T-Town has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.T-Town has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.T-Town has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.T-Town has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.T-Town has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.T-Town has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.T-Town has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.T-Town has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.T-Town has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.T-Town has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.T-Town has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.
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Old 05-19-2014, 05:38 PM   #180
Dante84 Dante84 is offline
Tossed Salad & Scrambled Eggs
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: ATX & OPKS
boner alert
Posts: 19,454
Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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