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Old 01-26-2009, 01:59 PM  
ChiTown ChiTown is offline
Stroking to Andy's Man Boobs
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Flatlands of Kansas
UHHHH. Ok

So, I work on the 2nd floor of an office complex in Wichita. The 2nd floor has business's like insurance, investment, energy, etc. The 3rd floor is primarily for hair salons, massage therapy, photography, and the like.

Right above my office, there is a hair salon that I go to out of sheer convenience. Earlier today, I hear music blaring above me - fkg rap - and I can't figure wtf is going on. I let it play out for about 10 minutes and then it just starts to fkn annoy me. I'm trying to have a phone conversation and I'm hearing Lil Whayne in the background

Anyhoo, I walk up to the 3rd floor salon, and there are no lights on. Initially, I thought maybe they might have some construction workers doing something for them, since they are closed on Monday's - but, where's the lights?. I knock on the door - no answer. I then proceed to walk in and turn the corner to the salon area. And then, I see it. There is a woman, buck naked, blowing a guy in a barber chair. The dude makes eye contact with me.

ChiTown "Uhh, sorry bout that".

Dude: "Uuh, Uuh, babe" (and points at me)

Chick (turning around to see what it is): "F*&^!" (and makes some guttural shrieking noise, while trying to cover herself up)

That's the some total of that conversation. Ok, here's where it get's weird.

A. Fkg lock the gdamn door next time you dumbfug's

B. Chick = Owner of the Salon

C. Dude does not equal her husband, whom I have met before

D. Chick = Gal who cuts my hair

E. I have an appointment with her to cut my hair on Friday

Before you ask, yes, she has a very nice ass, and a decent set of knockers. I have totally blocked out any image of the man's penis. I need a drink.........
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Old 01-30-2009, 07:35 PM   #151
Coach Coach is offline
Play ball!
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Kansas City
Quote:
Originally Posted by Donger View Post
Idiot.
This x 2
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Old 01-30-2009, 07:36 PM   #152
Buck Buck is offline
Take a Chill Pill
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: South Carolina
@ u guys...
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Old 01-30-2009, 07:52 PM   #153
Mr. Plow Mr. Plow is offline
Bearcat touched me
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Quote:
Originally Posted by BuckinKaeding View Post
@ u guys...
Stop laughing at us......you went to a gay bar.
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Old 01-30-2009, 08:12 PM   #154
88TG88 88TG88 is offline
don't tell me about collage
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Los Angeles
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Plow View Post
Stop laughing at us......you went to a gay bar.
PWNED
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88TG88 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.88TG88 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.88TG88 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.88TG88 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.88TG88 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.88TG88 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.88TG88 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.88TG88 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.88TG88 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.88TG88 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.88TG88 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.
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Old 01-30-2009, 08:16 PM   #155
Extra Point Extra Point is offline
MVP
 
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Location: Prairie Village, KS
No further proof required that this is HOC material, and that all HOC material must be copyrighted.
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Extra Point Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Extra Point Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Extra Point Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Extra Point Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Extra Point Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Extra Point Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Extra Point Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Extra Point Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Extra Point Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Extra Point Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Extra Point Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
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Old 01-30-2009, 08:18 PM   #156
el borracho el borracho is offline
Bears fan since 2013
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Albuquerque, NM
WTF is the matter with everyone around you? Your wife called you a liar and burst into tears because some random woman was in your office crying? That is seriously disturbed behavior.
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Old 01-30-2009, 08:24 PM   #157
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
Besides, big day tomorrow
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Utopia
You poor, poor bastard.

On a lighter note, after being gone on a day long work trip, and getting a call 10 minutes before I got home, and giving some people permission to come to our house to see something when I got there.....between bath and bed time...apparently which is a poor decision on my part......I'll let bride owanian read your predicament, and I still might have a chance to score tonight.


have mrschitown create an account and we'll fix her wagon right up for you, pal.


This wasn't the ending I had hoped for you. I hoped for bad jokes, awkward silences, stammering excuses, blushing....and you laughing, which lead to me laughing.
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Old 01-30-2009, 08:33 PM   #158
KCTitus KCTitus is offline
Archivist
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: The Ethernet
Damn...sorry to read that, ChiTown. I hope you and Mrs. ChiTown can fix this.
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KCTitus Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.KCTitus Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.KCTitus Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.KCTitus Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.KCTitus Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.KCTitus Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.KCTitus Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.KCTitus Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.KCTitus Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.KCTitus Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.KCTitus Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
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Old 01-30-2009, 08:36 PM   #159
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
Besides, big day tomorrow
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Utopia
Just have her smell yo dick.
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Old 01-30-2009, 08:38 PM   #160
Mr. Plow Mr. Plow is offline
Bearcat touched me
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Quote:
Originally Posted by Iowanian View Post
Just have her smell yo dick.

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Old 01-30-2009, 08:41 PM   #161
cabletech94 cabletech94 is offline
Everything is Awesome!!!!!
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: The Pitt
Hey Chitown, I may not be Mr. Marriage Guru, but the only way to solve this is to make an appointment with stripper/stylest and then surprise the Mrs with what you have in store, a meeting of the minds with full disclosure. Not only will it make you a good guy, but maybe you'll get a 3way out of it.
Or an icepick to the neck.
Best wishes.
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Old 01-30-2009, 08:58 PM   #162
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
Besides, big day tomorrow
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Utopia
"SAW" "SAW"....not watched.... "SAW"

Chitown slips up, bigtime
src="http://www.youtube.com/v/s8EnaLn-OlU&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344">
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Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 01-30-2009, 09:08 PM   #163
Buehler445 Buehler445 is online now
Supporter
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Scott City KS
SHIT Chitown. Hopefully shit blows over with your wife. Seriously. I'd hate for something bad to come of this. Bad jokes and awkward silence would have been better.
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Old 01-30-2009, 09:45 PM   #164
burt burt is offline
In Memoriam...
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: delete
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Plow View Post
I've never understood that about my wife. Nobody wants a balding 31 year old man with 4 kids and a beer belly. Well, my friends slut girlfriend does, but other than that.
In my case add 17 years!
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Old 01-30-2009, 09:46 PM   #165
ChiTown ChiTown is offline
Stroking to Andy's Man Boobs
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Flatlands of Kansas
Update:

It's all good with the Mrs.

I had a chance to CALMLY talk with her as to what happened. She actually just listened vs trying to assume a bunch of shit. Apparently, this week, one of the teachers she works with just found out her husband was cheating on her (not with my ex-hairdresser, heh). Obviously, my office encounter fed right in to her cheating husband story she had heard early in the week. BTW, the speed dial to the Lawyer was just a joke on my part. It seemed apropos, at the time, given the absolute abortion of a situation I was in. Sorry for the confusion.

What a bizarre week.........
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