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Old 05-19-2014, 11:46 AM  
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
SUPER BLOOD WOLF MOON
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
I'm on a mission to shit

Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
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Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 12:22 PM   #46
booger booger is offline
MVP
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: clear out in the sticks
Enough cheap whiskey should knock that hamster out
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Old 05-19-2014, 12:26 PM   #47
gblowfish gblowfish is offline
Be Kind To Your Pets
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Glorious Independence, MO
Quote:
Originally Posted by booger View Post
Enough cheap whiskey should knock that hamster out
Armageddon!!!! Armageddon!!!!

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Old 05-19-2014, 12:29 PM   #48
hometeam hometeam is offline
Supporter
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Farting is prelude to shit. It will happen my son.
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hometeam is obviously part of the inner Circle.hometeam is obviously part of the inner Circle.hometeam is obviously part of the inner Circle.hometeam is obviously part of the inner Circle.hometeam is obviously part of the inner Circle.hometeam is obviously part of the inner Circle.hometeam is obviously part of the inner Circle.hometeam is obviously part of the inner Circle.hometeam is obviously part of the inner Circle.hometeam is obviously part of the inner Circle.hometeam is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 12:34 PM   #49
Dayze Dayze is offline
Resident Glue Sniffer
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: KS
G.I. Joe with the Kung Fu grip outta do it.
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Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 12:34 PM   #50
booger booger is offline
MVP
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: clear out in the sticks
Quote:
Originally Posted by gblowfish View Post
Armageddon!!!! Armageddon!!!!

Posts: 11,702
booger 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.booger 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.booger 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.booger 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.booger 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.booger 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.booger 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.booger 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.booger 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.booger 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.booger 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.
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Old 05-19-2014, 12:36 PM   #51
ptlyon ptlyon is offline
Bono & Grbac wasn't enough
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Sioux City, IA
Taco johns food binds me up
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Old 05-19-2014, 12:37 PM   #52
Dayze Dayze is offline
Resident Glue Sniffer
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: KS
maybe you shouldn't invite him over.
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Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 12:38 PM   #53
ChiliConCarnage ChiliConCarnage is online now
TACO SALAD
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: yes
Just drink a ton of beer and don't eat anything. You'll be shitting water in no time
Posts: 3,896
ChiliConCarnage is too fat/Omaha.ChiliConCarnage is too fat/Omaha.ChiliConCarnage is too fat/Omaha.ChiliConCarnage is too fat/Omaha.ChiliConCarnage is too fat/Omaha.ChiliConCarnage is too fat/Omaha.ChiliConCarnage is too fat/Omaha.ChiliConCarnage is too fat/Omaha.ChiliConCarnage is too fat/Omaha.ChiliConCarnage is too fat/Omaha.ChiliConCarnage is too fat/Omaha.
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Old 05-19-2014, 12:39 PM   #54
Reerun_KC Reerun_KC is offline
Rock Chalk Jayhawks! KU!!!
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Sam's would have a harder time taking a dump. Clays ass has seen more traffic than I35 in Dallas.
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Old 05-19-2014, 12:40 PM   #55
Dayze Dayze is offline
Resident Glue Sniffer
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: KS
I can eat at Taco Bell, and I feel like someone in a movie who needs to dismantle a bomb with the clock ticking down.
Posts: 34,261
Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 12:41 PM   #56
eDave eDave is offline
N/A
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante84 View Post
I wonder if your system will back up, and you'll shit out your mouth?
He does that all the time.
Posts: 32,873
eDave is obviously part of the inner Circle.eDave is obviously part of the inner Circle.eDave is obviously part of the inner Circle.eDave is obviously part of the inner Circle.eDave is obviously part of the inner Circle.eDave is obviously part of the inner Circle.eDave is obviously part of the inner Circle.eDave is obviously part of the inner Circle.eDave is obviously part of the inner Circle.eDave is obviously part of the inner Circle.eDave is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 12:43 PM   #57
ptlyon ptlyon is offline
Bono & Grbac wasn't enough
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Sioux City, IA
"Do you happen to have a plunger? I've been eating a lot of cheese lately."
Posts: 20,753
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Old 05-19-2014, 12:44 PM   #58
Dayze Dayze is offline
Resident Glue Sniffer
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: KS
if a muscular dude rings your doorbell asking if you want him to clean your pipes....say no. Lessoned learned on my part
Posts: 34,261
Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 12:45 PM   #59
htismaqe htismaqe is offline
Tis-mah-KWAY (the H is silent)
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Chiefsplanet
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dayze View Post
if a muscular dude rings your doorbell asking if you want him to clean your pipes....say no. Lessoned learned on my part
Posts: 72,148
htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 01:03 PM   #60
Dartgod Dartgod is offline
Wasted away again...
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: in Margaritaville
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante84 View Post
I wonder if your system will back up, and you'll shit out your mouth?
Too late.
Posts: 44,431
Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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