I am learning empathy for the homeless

[Hydrae]

I don't even know how to start. Right now, it looks like my wife and I may be homeless next month. I was laid off from my job after 9 and a half years because the company decided to change the structure of their gold standard support team. That was a wonderful Monday morning last October. At least the one other time I was laid off it was because they moved their support team to India. That was at least kind of understandable. They also gave me a month's severance pay for each year I had worked for them (6 years). This time I got 2 months of severance for my 9.5 years of service. Given my previous experience, that felt like an additional slap to the face.

In an attempt to keep our house, we have left it and leased it out to 2 of my children, a nephew, and a close friend of one of my sons. This is not a good time to try to sell and we were to the point where we weren't sure we could pay the mortgage. They are covering the mortgage plus about $1000. So technically we have some income and even own a house. That "income" is great, but it doesn't go very far and is far from covering the rent on the apartment we have rented. And without an income we can't even tap into the ~$250,000 of equity (monetary term, not social bullshit!). I suppose we could put it on the market but that would screw over the young people there now and I don't want to pass my trouble to the next generation.

I have worked in tech support for the entirety of this century and that is only 4 jobs. I have never been a job hopper obviously. Since I was laid off last October, I have sent out hundreds of resumes. In that time, I have gotten less than 20 initial interviews and maybe 6 actual interviews. I even made it through the entire process a couple of times but obviously nothing has panned out. I will be 64 in a couple of weeks, and I have to wonder if part of the issue has been a form of ageism. At this point in my life, I am not excited to grow in a career. I just want to do awesome work, go home, and retire in a few years. Corporate America wants people who are looking to advance and better themselves. Of course, in a year or two that new hire will move on to the next opportunity while I would still be there consistent as always (as seen by 4 jobs in over 20 years).

So we made the fateful decision to follow our dream. We had plans to move back "home" to Oregon this past spring. Losing my job put the kibosh on that. Well, in our attempt to keep the house until the Fed lowers interest rates and the housing market to heat back up a little, we have moved to Oregon. I have been working remote since before the pandemic so I should be able to work from anywhere. Of course, after the last 10 months finances are thin to be kind, so it was a bit of a leap of faith. We are here now on the Oregon coast, my wife has a part time job that she loves but doesn't pay much, and I am trying to find ANYTHING at this point. I thought I was going to get a retail job making a whopping $16.75 an hour (I was making $84k a year before the layoff) but got screwed up regarding the drug test and lost that opportunity. Sorry, I do not follow blind links in a text. They could have at least put a note in the text about what the link was for. Well, that was the order for me to go piss in a cup and it expired in 48 hours. I was under the impression that I was going to get an email and was waiting for them to finish a background check. This is considered the same as a failure, so I am out with no recourse. I do feel bad for the manager as she was desperate for someone and will likely have to cancel her vacation in a few weeks.

I know a lot of this is just rambling, but it is how messed up my head is right now. I can't sleep for more than an hour at a time. It is 3 AM as I type this. I have never had an issue with getting a job in my life and have never been out of work for more than a few weeks. Right now, not only do I not see a light at the end of the tunnel, there isn't even a sign of a train. It is just black, and I am stumbling along with no idea where I may be heading. This does lead me to saying thank you to Detox. I noted his signature line a couple days ago and sent him a rep because it buoyed me up. He responded with a wonderfully supportive note which, given my current emotional and mental state, made me cry. That was also the day before I learned that I had screwed up the potential job I had on the line.

So, as the thread title states, I better understand how some of the homeless came to be that way through no fault of their own. I can tell you, the depression and desperation that I am going through does just functioning on a daily basis very hard.

Sorry to dump on everyone's day. I had to try to get some of this crap out of my head. No replies necessary, I just thank Kyle for creating this wonderful community where I can vent. Now I am going to go cry again and maybe, hopefully, get some more sleep.

[crayzkirk]

I had something similar happen to me in 2003, a job I had been at for 13 years suddenly was gone. The severance package was okay however I didn't know anything about taxes and Uncle Sam got about half of it. Finding work at 45 was a lot harder than at 30. Companies don't look at you the same way even though you have lots of experience. a mortgage, insurance, taxes and living expenses will eat up savings fast.

Don't wait on the unemployment benefits; I went through my savings and by the time I filed, I was denied because I had not recent work history. Don't let your pride get in the way of what you have paid for.

I eventually took a job paying less than half of what I was earning previously. Just get your foot in the door and show them what you can do for them. An opportunity will present itself.

[Dartgod]

Originally Posted by scho63

I'm rereading this thread for about the 5th time and two things are not clear to me:

1. How are you in such dire straits at this point in your life after only being laid off for a short period after 9 1/2 years?

You got two months severance that carried things until Jan 1 2024 and you have been off for 7-8 months. You or your wife had NO income for 8 months? No unemployment? No jobs of any kind? No savings?

Now you could be homeless?

2. Sounds like you have been very irresponsible with your money or there is something missing from this story.

It sucks to be backed into a corner and hopefully you can overcome this but there appears to be something you're not adding as to the overall cause.

Wishing you get a job that can put you back on better footing.

I don't think this is the type of "advice" he is looking for.

[scho63]

Originally Posted by Dartgod

I don't think this is the type of "advice" he is looking for.

Yeah, because when your 62 and you can't land a good job and pay your bills and telling everyone you are on the verge of homelessness, CP is the first place everyone should turn to.

[Bearcat]

Originally Posted by scho63

I'm rereading this thread for about the 5th time and two things are not clear to me:

[IA_Chiefs_fan]

Originally Posted by scho63

Yeah, because when your 62 and you can't land a good job and pay your bills and telling everyone you are on the verge of homelessness, CP is the first place everyone should turn to.

I like you but you're in the wrong here. No need to kick a fellow Planeteer while they're down and that's certainly what this feels like to him and appears to be to us. You're a good dude and this is a good time to just be kind.

[ChiTown]

Originally Posted by scho63

Yeah, because when your 62 and you can't land a good job and pay your bills and telling everyone you are on the verge of homelessness, CP is the first place everyone should turn to.

It's called reaching out to your community when you need to talk. It's called being a friend to your community members and helping out however you can.
My God man, what is so difficult for you to comprehend here?

[Graystoke]

Hang in there Hydrae. I can't imagine what you are going though. We are in the same age group and just reading your post gives me anxiety.
Wishing you all the best and I hope things rebound quickly.

[Buehler445]

Originally Posted by scho63

Yeah, because when your 62 and you can't land a good job and pay your bills and telling everyone you are on the verge of homelessness, CP is the first place everyone should turn to.

This isn't the first place he turned. He's been out of a job for awhile.

[loochy]

Originally Posted by scho63

I'm rereading this thread for about the 5th time and two things are not clear to me:

1. How are you in such dire straits at this point in your life after only being laid off for a short period after 9 1/2 years?

You got two months severance that carried things until Jan 1 2024 and you have been off for 7-8 months. You or your wife had NO income for 8 months? No unemployment? No jobs of any kind? No savings?

Now you could be homeless?

2. Sounds like you have been very irresponsible with your money or there is something missing from this story.

It sucks to be backed into a corner and hopefully you can overcome this but there appears to be something you're not adding as to the overall cause.

Wishing you get a job that can put you back on better footing.

Obviously, but that's not helpful right now

[|Zach|]

Originally Posted by scho63

Yeah, because when your 62 and you can't land a good job and pay your bills and telling everyone you are on the verge of homelessness, CP is the first place everyone should turn to.

You of all people pretending to be on a pedestal. Simply amazing.

[Dartgod]

Originally Posted by |Zach|

You of all people pretending to be on a pedestal. Simply amazing.

He can't read this post.

[Hydrae]

Originally Posted by scho63

I'm rereading this thread for about the 5th time and two things are not clear to me:

1. How are you in such dire straits at this point in your life after only being laid off for a short period after 9 1/2 years?

You got two months severance that carried things until Jan 1 2024 and you have been off for 7-8 months. You or your wife had NO income for 8 months? No unemployment? No jobs of any kind? No savings?

Now you could be homeless?

2. Sounds like you have been very irresponsible with your money or there is something missing from this story.

It sucks to be backed into a corner and hopefully you can overcome this but there appears to be something you're not adding as to the overall cause.

Wishing you get a job that can put you back on better footing.

In many ways you are right. I have never been great with money and it is showing. I did get all of $500 a week from unemployment for the time it was available. It helped get through but it certainly was not enough to pay the amount of bills I have by now. That has expired and is no longer available.

At no point in my life since I was 16 have I been out of work for more than a few weeks. I fully expected that to be the same so I lived like normal at first while getting severance. Then reality smacked me in the face but I kept believing it would be okay.

FYI, given how long this has carried on, I don't know why you think this is the first place I turned too. Also, in case you did not notice, I specifically stated that no replies were needed. I just needed to get things out of my head and I knew it would be acceptable here. As others have stated, this is an amazingly supportive community (for the most part). At no point did I ask for assistance, this was really simply for my mental health.

I don't know if it is because it helped clear my head or I just "screamed" loud enough for God to notice but there are a few things that broke free for me yesterday after that post. I know part of it was simply the outpouring of positivity that most everyone injected which helped me get a little confidence back.

I pray that you never have anything that pushes you down as far as I was, it is hard to get out of. But, if you ever are in need, I am more than willing to support you and anyone, from the young people I have helped in the past to the guy who's broken down car I just pushed off the road so everyone else who are going around don't have to wait so long.

[Sassy Squatch]

Sometimes you just need some positivity with a dash of pragmatic advice to get back up and running. Glad things are looking up for you.

[Mecca]

Originally Posted by WilliamTheIrish

You’ll be okay Hy. To make money, (maybe not ALL the money) you can do anything temporarily.

Lots of places need drivers. Investigate Uber. I know dudes who supplement income by that. Hang in there.


Also one last thing: **** otter. What a ****ing shitbag of a human.

Did people just now figure out that Otter is a shitbag?

[Sassy Squatch]

Meh. There's plenty of people on here that can be rather unpleasant at times. I'm in that camp. Just figured it'd be common sense not to fling shit in a thread where one of our own needs support is all.