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**Fire Me Boy!** · 02-18-2005, 10:36 PM

whacking off to Internet porn AT MY DESK!

I walk into the office at 10:15 p.m., only 5 hours after we close. I'm picking up some more stuff for my day tomorrow and clocking out... I walk back to my desk, the door's closed and I think, "Hmm... the door's closed. That's weird." I open it up and there's my coworker, who frantically turns the monitor off (I didn't see what kind of porn it was) and begins zipping his fly. I didn't actually notice him zipping up till I said, "Hey, what are you still doing here?" That's when I saw him buttoning/zipping the pants...

Then he proceeds to say, "Nothing, what are you doing here?" I answer, "Just clocking out." By this time, I'm back in the hallway, so he knows I'm not standing there just looking at him. Then he asks again... I answer again. He asks again... like fucking Rainman (not you, Rainman... Dustin Hoffman's Rainman, which isn't actually Dustin Hoffman, but you know what I mean...). Then he skiddadles out of the office without saying anything (which I don't blame him for).

Now, I had been noticing over the last few months porn sites on my computer's history... I wasn't worried about being caught or anything, I'm the tech guy and I know it wasn't me. That's what I have a home computer for. I hope this little scare will convince him that he probably shouldn't do that at work anymore... but, damn... now I gotta get a new keyboard and I just got this one. Sick fucker.

**Fire Me Boy!** · 02-19-2005, 03:25 PM

teedubya · 02-19-2005, 03:26 PM

Ah, masturbating.
I love working overtime.
Getting paid to spank.

**Baby Lee** · 02-19-2005, 03:27 PM

open mesh task chair
liquid paper lubricates
love in afternoon

**Iowanian** · 02-19-2005, 03:37 PM

Came to work to check the clock,
Suprised to see you tug your cock
Tug and Pull and all the rest
What Fug?! You're At MY DESK?

Drop your Prick and step away
The Porn you picked, Midget Gay?
Don't slow down, going faster
When it comes to Baiting,
You're the Master

**Baby Lee** · 02-19-2005, 03:43 PM

A monitor and door is all you need
To spill the junk we use to breed.

**Bowser** · 02-19-2005, 03:44 PM

Hickory dickory dock
Stop whacking off at my desk!

4th and Long · 02-19-2005, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bowser

Hickory dickory dock
Stop whacking off at my desk!

Not poetic but appropriate.

**Baby Lee** · 02-19-2005, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bowser

Hickory dickory dock
Stop whacking off at my desk!

- you're a true poet soul.

stevieray · 02-19-2005, 03:47 PM

It is very nice of you to not mention he was at the planet looking at a pic of phob....

was it bookmarked bighead?

stumppy · 02-19-2005, 03:51 PM

Fire Me Boys office
His underwear is not here
Guess I'll surf the net

**gblowfish** · 02-19-2005, 03:52 PM

Reading thru the thread
The Chicken Choking Haiiku
Spit Coke out my nose!

**Iowanian** · 02-20-2005, 08:34 PM

This isn't slipping past the day crew on my watch.

**Fire Me Boy!** · 02-20-2005, 09:33 PM

Yeah, I was going to bump it tomorrow.

jcroft · 02-21-2005, 12:01 AM

Heh. Great story. Here's what I'd do:

If you work at a big company with "big brother" type security, then I think you have to rat the guy out. Otherwise, you stand to lose your job for looking at porn (which you didn't do). If you "are the tech guy," as you say, and you no that no one else is checking your computer's history, I'd probably just tormet the guy over the next few months with tons of pun and maturbatory euphamisims.

Of course, I'd wipe down the stuff on your desk. but honestly, being overly concerned about heath in this situation is silly. Sperm and most diseases can't live outside of the body for long at all, and are usually easily killed with basic cleaning supplies like Windex. Just wipe shit down, and you'll be fine.

Finally, next time you are stroking it on company time (we all do it, right?), I'd walk over to his cube, cum in his lap, and leave without saying a word.

Pants · 02-21-2005, 12:03 AM

Sperm dies instantly if the temperature isn't right. Still gross as fuck. Piss is sterile, but you don't drink it (well most of us don't).

02-18-2005, 10:36 PM
Fire Me Boy! Cast Iron Jedi Fire Me Boy!'s Avatar Join Date: Nov 2004	I just walked in on a coworker... whacking off to Internet porn AT MY DESK! I walk into the office at 10:15 p.m., only 5 hours after we close. I'm picking up some more stuff for my day tomorrow and clocking out... I walk back to my desk, the door's closed and I think, "Hmm... the door's closed. That's weird." I open it up and there's my coworker, who frantically turns the monitor off (I didn't see what kind of porn it was) and begins zipping his fly. I didn't actually notice him zipping up till I said, "Hey, what are you still doing here?" That's when I saw him buttoning/zipping the pants... Then he proceeds to say, "Nothing, what are you doing here?" I answer, "Just clocking out." By this time, I'm back in the hallway, so he knows I'm not standing there just looking at him. Then he asks again... I answer again. He asks again... like fucking Rainman (not you, Rainman... Dustin Hoffman's Rainman, which isn't actually Dustin Hoffman, but you know what I mean...). Then he skiddadles out of the office without saying anything (which I don't blame him for). Now, I had been noticing over the last few months porn sites on my computer's history... I wasn't worried about being caught or anything, I'm the tech guy and I know it wasn't me. That's what I have a home computer for. I hope this little scare will convince him that he probably shouldn't do that at work anymore... but, damn... now I gotta get a new keyboard and I just got this one. Sick fucker. Last edited by Fire Me Boy!; 02-19-2005 at 07:11 AM..
Posts: 35,253

02-19-2005, 03:25 PM	#91
Fire Me Boy! Cast Iron Jedi Fire Me Boy!'s Avatar Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 35,253

02-19-2005, 03:26 PM	#92
teedubya Most Valuable Poster teedubya's Avatar Join Date: Oct 2003	Ah, masturbating. I love working overtime. Getting paid to spank.
Posts: 36,729

02-19-2005, 03:27 PM	#93
Baby Lee Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000	open mesh task chair liquid paper lubricates love in afternoon
Posts: 95,642

02-19-2005, 03:37 PM	#94
Iowanian Supporter Iowanian's Avatar Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia	Came to work to check the clock, Suprised to see you tug your cock Tug and Pull and all the rest What Fug?! You're At MY DESK? Drop your Prick and step away The Porn you picked, Midget Gay? Don't slow down, going faster When it comes to Baiting, You're the Master
Posts: 62,365

02-19-2005, 03:43 PM	#95
Baby Lee Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000	A monitor and door is all you need To spill the junk we use to breed.
Posts: 95,642

02-19-2005, 03:44 PM	#96
Bowser sorta mod-ish Bowser's Avatar Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: KC North	Hickory dickory dock Stop whacking off at my desk!
Posts: 103,988

02-19-2005, 03:47 PM	#99
stevieray best in the biz stevieray's Avatar Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Under Pressure	It is very nice of you to not mention he was at the planet looking at a pic of phob.... was it bookmarked bighead?
Posts: 72,955

02-19-2005, 03:51 PM	#100
stumppy New and Improved stumppy's Avatar Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Springfield, Mo.	Fire Me Boys office His underwear is not here Guess I'll surf the net
Posts: 22,000

02-19-2005, 03:52 PM	#101
gblowfish Be Kind To Your Pets gblowfish's Avatar Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Glorious Independence, MO	Reading thru the thread The Chicken Choking Haiiku Spit Coke out my nose!
Posts: 40,916

02-20-2005, 08:34 PM	#102
Iowanian Supporter Iowanian's Avatar Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia	This isn't slipping past the day crew on my watch.
Posts: 62,365

02-20-2005, 09:33 PM	#103
Fire Me Boy! Cast Iron Jedi Fire Me Boy!'s Avatar Join Date: Nov 2004	Yeah, I was going to bump it tomorrow.
Posts: 35,253

02-21-2005, 12:01 AM	#104
jcroft Thread-Stopper Extrodinaire Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Seattle, WA	Heh. Great story. Here's what I'd do: If you work at a big company with "big brother" type security, then I think you have to rat the guy out. Otherwise, you stand to lose your job for looking at porn (which you didn't do). If you "are the tech guy," as you say, and you no that no one else is checking your computer's history, I'd probably just tormet the guy over the next few months with tons of pun and maturbatory euphamisims. Of course, I'd wipe down the stuff on your desk. but honestly, being overly concerned about heath in this situation is silly. Sperm and most diseases can't live outside of the body for long at all, and are usually easily killed with basic cleaning supplies like Windex. Just wipe shit down, and you'll be fine. Finally, next time you are stroking it on company time (we all do it, right?), I'd walk over to his cube, cum in his lap, and leave without saying a word.
Posts: 2,150

02-21-2005, 12:03 AM	#105
Pants Time Keeps On Slipping Pants's Avatar Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Overland Park	Sperm dies instantly if the temperature isn't right. Still gross as fuck. Piss is sterile, but you don't drink it (well most of us don't).
Posts: 27,303