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I'll be back.
Join Date: Nov 2002
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The Declaration Of Independence, MO - The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel
The Declaration Of Independence, MO ![]() The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel When in the course of football events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the fandom bands which have connected them with a Quarterback, and to assume among the Powers of the NFL, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Football and of the NFL's Goodell entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Quarterbacks are not created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain Unalienable Talents, that among these are Arm Strength, Accuracy and the Pursuit of Championships. That to secure these talents, Quarterbacks are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the Consent of the Fanbase, That whenever any Form of Quarterback becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Quarterbacks, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Attendance At Arrowhead and Hope For A Championship. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Quarterbacks Long Established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably The Same Offense evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to Throw Off Such Quarterbacks, and to provide new Guards (however, neither left nor right) for their Future Rooting Interests. Such has been the patient sufferance of these Chiefs Fans; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Offense. The history of the present Quarterback is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an Absolute Run-First Offense over the State of Missouri. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world. Cassel 3:16
Spoiler!
Playoff Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate
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Winning Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate
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Cassel Lacks Deep Passing Ability
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Cassel Makes Offensive Linemen Worse
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Cassel Struggles Against Good Defenses At An Alarming Rate
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Cassel Struggles Against Elite Quarterbacks At An Alarming Rate
Spoiler!
We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of Chiefs Fans, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme GM of Arrowhead for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Chiefs, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Chiefs fans are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent of Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel. That they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Patriot Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of New England, is and ought to be totally dissolved. And that as Free and Independent Chiefs Fans, they have full Power to levy Boos, conclude Peace, contract Alliances with Dwayne Bowe, establish Commerce with Top Five Picks, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Fans may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Playoff Fortunes and our Sacred Fandom. SIGN BELOW This post made possible by SNR, Coogs and The Gang Of 14. Statistics compiled by ESPN, PFF and PFR Dedicated to 'Hamas' Jenkins, our Patrick Henry, who said "Give Me Sanchez, Or Give Me Death." ![]() ![]() ![]() For further details, please review The Pioli Facts. The Declaration has been updated with statistics from 2012 and FINALIZED. Remove Matt Cassel from Kansas City. FOREVER. Last edited by Hammock Parties; 12-26-2012 at 09:03 AM.. |
Posts: 283,874
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#91 | |
The Master
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Marion, IA
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Posts: 23,101
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#92 |
Supporter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Who knows?
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Posts: 84,190
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#93 |
The Master
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Marion, IA
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Posts: 23,101
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#94 |
Shit
Join Date: Jun 2008
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Posts: 55,715
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#95 |
PLAY GOOD FOOTBALL
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: American Gardens Building
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I can refute all those stats, but I'm too lazy.
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Posts: 17,374
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#96 |
Supporter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Who knows?
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Posts: 84,190
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#97 |
I'll be back.
Join Date: Nov 2002
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The best defense for all of Cassel's bullshit is that he hasn't faced that many winning teams the last two seasons. Just four in two years, which is shocking to be honest. I guess you could argue he hasn't had much of an opportunity to prove himself against good teams while playing with a solid supporting cast.
He has constantly ducked good teams the last two seasons by sheer fortune. Likely he would have been eviscerated by Rivers in San Diego in 2010, but our failed assassination attempt took priority. In 2011 his convenient injury meant he didn't have to face: New England Pittsburgh Green Bay He also didn't have to face Chicago (Bears defense would have ****ed him up), Oakland with Carson Palmer or Denver on the road. Likely he would have lost all of those and we would have even stronger evidence that he's a piece of shit. YOU CAN'T HIDE THIS YEAR, MATT. |
Posts: 283,874
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#98 |
Resident Glue Sniffer
Join Date: Nov 2003
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Email this To that idiot Fescoe
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Posts: 37,392
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#99 | |
Special Teams ACE!!!
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Where the hell is SNR
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Quote:
Too bad the Bears weren't a playoff team last year so he could score some points |
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Posts: 91,410
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#100 | |
I'll be back.
Join Date: Nov 2002
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EVEN NOW Matt Cassel seeks to spread his discord and false hope among our fanbase. We must never relent. We will fight him on the internet, we will fight him at the Royals game, we will fight him at Arrowhead.
Win Throwing Lessons from Kansas City Chief, Matt Cassel!! http://www.fryorthodontics.com/matt-cassel/ Quote:
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#101 |
Roy E.
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Olathe, KS
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I've always wanted to learn how to throw a Matt Cassel-esque 20 yard wounded duck pass.
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Posts: 22,973
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#102 | |
Immanentize The Eschaton
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In Partibus Infidelium
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Quote:
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Posts: 56,181
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#103 |
I'll be back.
Join Date: Nov 2002
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You can find some bullshit on twitter.
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Posts: 283,874
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#104 |
That's Right
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Bluefield, Virginia
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Posts: 7,333
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#105 |
MVP
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Honolulu, HI
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It seems Clayton has finally gone completely batshit crazy.
It wasn't a very long trip. |
Posts: 10,064
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