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Old 02-18-2005, 10:36 PM  
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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I just walked in on a coworker...
whacking off to Internet porn AT MY DESK!

I walk into the office at 10:15 p.m., only 5 hours after we close. I'm picking up some more stuff for my day tomorrow and clocking out... I walk back to my desk, the door's closed and I think, "Hmm... the door's closed. That's weird." I open it up and there's my coworker, who frantically turns the monitor off (I didn't see what kind of porn it was) and begins zipping his fly. I didn't actually notice him zipping up till I said, "Hey, what are you still doing here?" That's when I saw him buttoning/zipping the pants...

Then he proceeds to say, "Nothing, what are you doing here?" I answer, "Just clocking out." By this time, I'm back in the hallway, so he knows I'm not standing there just looking at him. Then he asks again... I answer again. He asks again... like fucking Rainman (not you, Rainman... Dustin Hoffman's Rainman, which isn't actually Dustin Hoffman, but you know what I mean...). Then he skiddadles out of the office without saying anything (which I don't blame him for).

Now, I had been noticing over the last few months porn sites on my computer's history... I wasn't worried about being caught or anything, I'm the tech guy and I know it wasn't me. That's what I have a home computer for. I hope this little scare will convince him that he probably shouldn't do that at work anymore... but, damn... now I gotta get a new keyboard and I just got this one. Sick fucker.
Last edited by Fire Me Boy!; 02-19-2005 at 07:11 AM..
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Old 02-19-2005, 03:25 PM   #91
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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Old 02-19-2005, 03:26 PM   #92
teedubya teedubya is offline
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Ah, masturbating.
I love working overtime.
Getting paid to spank.
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Old 02-19-2005, 03:27 PM   #93
Baby Lee Baby Lee is offline
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open mesh task chair
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love in afternoon
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Old 02-19-2005, 03:37 PM   #94
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Came to work to check the clock,
Suprised to see you tug your cock
Tug and Pull and all the rest
What Fug?! You're At MY DESK?

Drop your Prick and step away
The Porn you picked, Midget Gay?
Don't slow down, going faster
When it comes to Baiting,
You're the Master
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Old 02-19-2005, 03:43 PM   #95
Baby Lee Baby Lee is offline
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A monitor and door is all you need
To spill the junk we use to breed.
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Old 02-19-2005, 03:44 PM   #96
Bowser Bowser is offline
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Stop whacking off at my desk!
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Old 02-19-2005, 03:45 PM   #97
4th and Long 4th and Long is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bowser
Hickory dickory dock
Stop whacking off at my desk!
Not poetic but appropriate.
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4th and Long has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.4th and Long has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.4th and Long has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.4th and Long has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.4th and Long has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.4th and Long has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.4th and Long has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.4th and Long has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.4th and Long has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.4th and Long has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.4th and Long has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.
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Old 02-19-2005, 03:46 PM   #98
Baby Lee Baby Lee is offline
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Originally Posted by Bowser
Hickory dickory dock
Stop whacking off at my desk!
- you're a true poet soul.
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Old 02-19-2005, 03:47 PM   #99
stevieray stevieray is offline
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It is very nice of you to not mention he was at the planet looking at a pic of phob....

was it bookmarked bighead?
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Old 02-19-2005, 03:51 PM   #100
stumppy stumppy is offline
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Fire Me Boys office
His underwear is not here
Guess I'll surf the net
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Old 02-19-2005, 03:52 PM   #101
gblowfish gblowfish is offline
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Reading thru the thread
The Chicken Choking Haiiku
Spit Coke out my nose!
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Old 02-20-2005, 08:34 PM   #102
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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This isn't slipping past the day crew on my watch.
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Old 02-20-2005, 09:33 PM   #103
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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Yeah, I was going to bump it tomorrow.
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Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 02-21-2005, 12:01 AM   #104
jcroft jcroft is offline
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Heh. Great story. Here's what I'd do:

If you work at a big company with "big brother" type security, then I think you have to rat the guy out. Otherwise, you stand to lose your job for looking at porn (which you didn't do). If you "are the tech guy," as you say, and you no that no one else is checking your computer's history, I'd probably just tormet the guy over the next few months with tons of pun and maturbatory euphamisims.

Of course, I'd wipe down the stuff on your desk. but honestly, being overly concerned about heath in this situation is silly. Sperm and most diseases can't live outside of the body for long at all, and are usually easily killed with basic cleaning supplies like Windex. Just wipe shit down, and you'll be fine.

Finally, next time you are stroking it on company time (we all do it, right?), I'd walk over to his cube, cum in his lap, and leave without saying a word.
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Old 02-21-2005, 12:03 AM   #105
Pants Pants is offline
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Sperm dies instantly if the temperature isn't right. Still gross as fuck. Piss is sterile, but you don't drink it (well most of us don't).
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