Saying goodbye to special underwear.

[Rain Man]

Several years ago, I needed some underwear. This was before I would consider buying underwear online, so I went to the store and bought a couple of packages, one from a brand called Covington and one from Polo.

Buying underwear is always a bit of an adventure, because you can't exactly try them on. So I went home and the next day when it was time to shower, I broke them out of their package, and a love affair was born.

They were the perfect underwear, just perfect. The material was soft, yet stylish. The waistband was just snug enough that it did its job perfectly, yet I never felt it. At the end of the day, I didn't have any unsightly indents in my waist, or chafing at my hips. And the front created the perfect pouch that not only felt comfortable, but it somehow seemed to ... ahem ... "enhance" the apparent size of what it was protecting. They really made a man feel confident at the doctor's office.

I loved that underwear. Both brands. They were my A-team underwear for running races, for travel, for those long airport days where you didn't want anything riding up or sliding down. I've purchased other underwear in the ensuing years that is perfectly comfortable, but never underwear that has become a part of me like my beloved Covington and Polo collections. I've tried to find new versions in recent years, but styles have changed and waistbands have changed, and I can't seem to find that perfect style.

But alas, the saddest thing about underwear is that its life span is shorter than ours. One by one the elastic has gone out, or the material has worn off to the extent that it can no longer pass the paramedic test if I was in an accident.

I've lost a Polo and a Covington in the last month, sadly giving them a final salute before gingerly placing them into the trash receptacle. My team is dwindling, and it will only accelerate. So I'm here today to tell you, if you have a great pair of underwear, appreciate it, because you won't be together forever.

[Buehler445]

Originally Posted by WhiteWhale

I mean... technically oral sex is sodomy and therefore is a sin under all forms of Christianity, Islam, and Judaism.

Probably other religions, but you'll have to ask Hindus or Buddhists about that.

I gotta wonder what the hell was everyone's beef with blowjobs in the ancient world. Lumping it in with butt-sects seems a bit drastic.

It’s because it’s not used to make a baby.

That’s the only time sex is OK is to make babies.

It should be noted that I vehemently disagree, but that’s the position.

[jerryaldini]

Originally Posted by Buehler445

It’s because it’s not used to make a baby.

That’s the only time sex is OK is to make babies.

It should be noted that I vehemently disagree, but that’s the position.

Yeah I recall that story from the Bible about the guy whose brother died and he was supposed to impregnate his sister in law but wound up spilling his seed on the ground which was sinful, hence no masturbation. Something like that. Pretty sure mormons can't masturbate either.

[jerryaldini]

And as an anti-natalist myself, definitely opposed to the sex=baby making. My father in law, a good Catholic, tried to lay that one on me. I've been seeing the ads for high end underwear. Just not a priority for me, but each his own.