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Old 02-22-2004, 05:33 PM  
KCChiefsMan KCChiefsMan is offline
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Man I could be in trouble....
I just had sex with some slut I met at a party and after I came I realized that the condom had broke......I'm stressing out like crazy here. WHY AM I SO STUPID WHEN I GET DRUNK!!!! I normally wouldn't have had sex with a slut like her, but I think it's a combination of being really really drunk and had just broken up with my girlfriend...DAMNIT!
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Old 02-23-2004, 11:50 AM   #76
KCWolfman KCWolfman is offline
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Chop it off before the poison has a chance to spread.
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Old 02-23-2004, 11:51 AM   #77
Ultra Peanut Ultra Peanut is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KCWolfman
Chop it off before the poison has a chance to spread.
He'd be doing the world a favor.
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Old 02-23-2004, 11:52 AM   #78
Mark M Mark M is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Psicosis
See also: "Daaaaamn, dude, you've got issues."
Which is cross-referenced with: "Budwieser ... getting ugly people laid since 1876."

MM
~~
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Old 02-23-2004, 11:55 AM   #79
KCWolfman KCWolfman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Psicosis
He'd be doing the world a favor.
Actually, that was quite callous of me.


Remove the offending and infected appendage through means of a surgically precise instrument. Be sure to tie off all major arteries and veins, but you should be able to leave the testicles, epididmy, and scrotum if you want something to diddle with later.
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Old 02-23-2004, 12:01 PM   #80
Mark M Mark M is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KCWolfman
Actually, that was quite callous of me.


Remove the offending and infected appendage through means of a surgically precise instrument. Be sure to tie off all major arteries and veins, but you should be able to leave the testicles, epididmy, and scrotum if you want something to diddle with later.
MM
~~
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Old 02-23-2004, 12:38 PM   #81
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Do you really expect us to believe you busted a condom?

I'll bet that bad boy slid off before you even got it on.
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Old 02-23-2004, 12:45 PM   #82
ChiTown ChiTown is offline
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The best way to test for std's
Hit your penis with a hammer. If it doesn't hurt, you've got a std. If it does hurt, you have another problem altogether. Good luck!
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Old 02-23-2004, 01:22 PM   #83
Nzoner Nzoner is offline
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There are times I am so thankful I paid heed to Mother's advice.
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Old 02-23-2004, 01:27 PM   #84
KCWolfman KCWolfman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ENDelt260
Besides, a condom breaking is a good thing. It gives you a good excuse to shoot it all over her boobies.

"What? You didn't want it inside you, did you?"
Don't you have to have bad funk music playing to do that?
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Old 02-23-2004, 01:31 PM   #85
KCWolfman KCWolfman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ENDelt260
Well... if you're one of those guys who wants to go all out.

Showoff.
"all out" when speaking of a money shot begs for a pun to be made, don't you think?
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Old 02-23-2004, 01:35 PM   #86
CosmicPal CosmicPal is offline
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I wouldn't worry 'bout it...

Cosmic shamefully has only used a condom once, and Cosmic has been with quite a few women. I do not have any disease, nor have I impregnated anyone. I do make sure the gal I'm with has full comprehension of the alphabet, spends 90% of her money and time at The Gap, has at least completed the fourth grade, and has plenty of sisters and friends who like to watch. She must also be very good with her hands and likens to scream like a baboon falling out of a tree. If the gal meets all of these criterias, it's a safe bet Cosmic doesn't need a condom, but a full bottle of tequila and some jello.
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Old 02-23-2004, 01:49 PM   #87
KCWolfman KCWolfman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ENDelt260
I think a money shot only refers to when it's on her face.

And, yes.
I obviously have not brushed up on porn 101.
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Old 02-23-2004, 01:51 PM   #88
ChiTown ChiTown is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KCWolfman
I obviously have not brushed up on porn 101.
Ehem,

You don't brush, you stroke.
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Old 02-23-2004, 01:53 PM   #89
KCWolfman KCWolfman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiTown
Ehem,

You don't brush, you stroke.
Glad to see that at least one person here isn't willing to let a good pun go by.

Thanks Pat.
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Old 02-23-2004, 01:53 PM   #90
KCWolfman KCWolfman is offline
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Oh, and shouldn't you be WitTown now?
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