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View Poll Results: How are you holding up? | |||
10 - Life is good. Not sure what everyone's freaking out about. | 26 | 10.97% | |
9 | 12 | 5.06% | |
8 | 36 | 15.19% | |
7 | 29 | 12.24% | |
6 | 18 | 7.59% | |
5 - Eh, it's fine, but not great. | 64 | 27.00% | |
4 | 24 | 10.13% | |
3 | 9 | 3.80% | |
2 | 6 | 2.53% | |
1 | 3 | 1.27% | |
0 - Dude. This sucks hard. | 10 | 4.22% | |
Voters: 237. You may not vote on this poll |
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Thread Tools | Display Modes |
04-09-2020, 09:22 AM | #601 | |
Most Valuable Villain
Join Date: Dec 2006
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Posts: 92,316
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04-09-2020, 09:25 AM | #602 | |
New and Improved
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Springfield, Mo.
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Posts: 21,871
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04-09-2020, 09:27 AM | #603 |
It was not a fair catch
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Correcting papers
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There are a lot of kids that have no incentive to do anything-
Work/learn/think. Thank the internet age. Desperation is a great motivator. Tough love man. Tough love. |
Posts: 37,887
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04-09-2020, 09:56 AM | #604 |
New and Improved
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Springfield, Mo.
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Have you talked to her dad about the problem. Maybe you could get him to go along with what you're trying to do.
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Posts: 21,871
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04-09-2020, 09:56 AM | #605 |
New and Improved
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Springfield, Mo.
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Posts: 21,871
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04-09-2020, 10:01 AM | #606 | |
Hockey Town
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Kansas City, Missouri
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But she has all of his attitude problems, dude is basically constantly high and if he's not he's a flaming dick you can't deal with. He doesn't hold jobs, lives at home in his 40s. He doesn't view her as having issues because she's him.... |
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Posts: 112,451
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04-09-2020, 10:06 AM | #607 | |
Retired Bearcat
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: SWMO
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I dunno, I'm just a random guy on an internet forum but the only advice I have is to be a dick. I know that sounds rough and easier said than done but it works in the long run. I've told all of my kids that my job is to raise them to be good/productive adults and not be their friend until they have a family or on their own. My oldest is my stepchild but I've raised him since he was 9 (his biological father never came around). He was getting out of control and thought he could do anything he wanted. Took his buddies car out for a drive one night without a licenses (cops called that night to come pick him up), had straight F's in school, and refused to do anything unless I stood over him and forced him to. My last straw was him getting in trouble at school....again when he was 17. He got in trouble for having his phone in class and got detention. He decided to skip detention and get suspended from school. A few days later we got the letter from school letting us know what happened. I will never forget the night I sat him and his mom down at the kitchen table and I gave him his options. I told him as long as he is in my house there are rules and he broke them therefore he must be punished. He told me he would rather leave than be grounded.......so I pointed at the door. The next two hours were kind of a blur....his mom cried and I helped him pack. Gave him everything he needed, a big hug, an I love you, and told him to not forget to visit. It sucked, I cried, mom cried, and not much sleep for the next week. Fast forward 7 years and that stubborn asshole is kicking ass and taking names. He comes by all the time and calls to thank me for being a dick when he was younger . TLDR version.....it will be hard and sometimes you have to piss them off to get them ready for the real world. |
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Posts: 7,587
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04-09-2020, 10:23 AM | #608 | |
New and Improved
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Springfield, Mo.
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The therapy seemed to help a little but what worked best for me.....I was a brick wall when it came to her behavior. Don't be disrespectful, don't argue, do what you're told and so on. When she stepped over the line even by just a hair I came down hard. Homework not done, shitty grades, be disrespectful, etc. she would be grounded to her room, sometimes to her bed, lose her electronics, along with many other things. It was exhausting because I wouldn't let her pull that shit at all The second she did...BOOM, down came the hammer. After a few months she came around. I still had problems with her but it wasn't much more than I expected from a girl her age. That's how I dealt with all of it anyways. The shitty thing about all of it....., two months after she moved back home with her mother....she's gone back to acting like she did before. |
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Posts: 21,871
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04-09-2020, 10:27 AM | #609 |
Grand champ
Join Date: Sep 2007
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Posts: 45,380
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04-09-2020, 10:32 AM | #610 | |
Hockey Town
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Kansas City, Missouri
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I took her phone, it resulted in her following my wife around the house demanding it back. To which I said, she doesn't have your phone and acting like an ass isn't going to get it back now is it? And she literally won't listen she just follows you around seeing give me my phone, not responding to anything. It escalated into me telling her to go to her room her not listening to me, me telling her she had 5 seconds to do what I said or I would do it for her... So after the next 5 minutes that resulted in a 16 year old girl having a temper tantrum and trying to claw my walls to avoid being put in her room, trying to claw me..which resulted in her being put in a full nelson, then when it's all done.........she cries and says I hurt her. It's all a bullshit game, all of it. A lot of it is why I feel I have no answer. |
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04-09-2020, 10:34 AM | #611 |
Hockey Town
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Kansas City, Missouri
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While true the internet has made certain behaviors more prevalent. Where some kids were just burnouts or lazy at times. It's made them worse because now they just stare at that device. Watch a teen with a phone, it's like a drug addict they can't get enough and if you take it they lose their shit.
I fully believe in 15 years we'll find out that giving a developing mind a phone was one of the worst things we ever could have done and we basically handed them a crack pipe for how their brain handles it. |
Posts: 112,451
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04-09-2020, 10:37 AM | #612 | |
Suupraa Geniuuusss
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Phoenix, AZ
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I've seen the problem you're having among many of my friend's children. Basically the kid realizes at some point that they don't have to do anything because their parents won't hit them with real consequences. Unfortunately it's likely too late for your stepdaughter to learn this lesson from you, but that's not all your fault. She also a mother and biological father that allowed her to become the twit she's become. But you have to impress upon her that at least one person in her life won't let her walk all over them, and that looks like it has to be you. So lay down the law in your house, and then follow through, period. Otherwise, there's a good chance that your stepdaughter will be a full-time crackhead hooker in a year or two. Good luck. |
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Posts: 31,838
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04-09-2020, 10:50 AM | #613 | |
New and Improved
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Springfield, Mo.
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On a side note, I had to start taking HBP meds about a month after they moved in with me. Wish I could come up with something that would help other than to just endure it until she's old enough to put out on the street. |
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Posts: 21,871
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04-09-2020, 10:52 AM | #614 | |
Hockey Town
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Kansas City, Missouri
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Posts: 112,451
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04-09-2020, 10:59 AM | #615 |
New and Improved
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Springfield, Mo.
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Yea, one thing is for sure. If you two don't present a united front and stick to it then this shit ain't gonna change.
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Posts: 21,871
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