...

**ChiTown** · 01-26-2009, 01:59 PM

So, I work on the 2nd floor of an office complex in Wichita. The 2nd floor has business's like insurance, investment, energy, etc. The 3rd floor is primarily for hair salons, massage therapy, photography, and the like.

Right above my office, there is a hair salon that I go to out of sheer convenience. Earlier today, I hear music blaring above me - fkg rap - and I can't figure wtf is going on. I let it play out for about 10 minutes and then it just starts to fkn annoy me. I'm trying to have a phone conversation and I'm hearing Lil Whayne in the background

Anyhoo, I walk up to the 3rd floor salon, and there are no lights on. Initially, I thought maybe they might have some construction workers doing something for them, since they are closed on Monday's - but, where's the lights?. I knock on the door - no answer. I then proceed to walk in and turn the corner to the salon area. And then, I see it. There is a woman, buck naked, blowing a guy in a barber chair. The dude makes eye contact with me.

ChiTown "Uhh, sorry bout that".

Dude: "Uuh, Uuh, babe" (and points at me)

Chick (turning around to see what it is): "F*&^!" (and makes some guttural shrieking noise, while trying to cover herself up)

That's the some total of that conversation. Ok, here's where it get's weird.

A. Fkg lock the gdamn door next time you dumbfug's

B. Chick = Owner of the Salon

C. Dude does not equal her husband, whom I have met before

D. Chick = Gal who cuts my hair

E. I have an appointment with her to cut my hair on Friday

Before you ask, yes, she has a very nice ass, and a decent set of knockers. I have totally blocked out any image of the man's penis. I need a drink.........

**Iowanian** · 01-26-2009, 02:31 PM

You can use the planets help.

We need to assist you in coming up with as many fellatio suggestive every-day conversation lines as we can, and your job is to USE them during your haircut.

Man...the wind sure is BLOWING the snow around today.

**mikeyis4dcats.** · 01-26-2009, 02:31 PM

say, could you see if she has an opening around 10AM on next Monday?

**mikeyis4dcats.** · 01-26-2009, 02:31 PM

now some asshole just needs to figure out which salon this is and call her up.

siberian khatru · 01-26-2009, 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 58-4ever

the best shot would've been on her face.

Eeeeeeewwwwww! /luv

**Iowanian** · 01-26-2009, 02:32 PM

Do you ever have anyone complain when their haircut just sucks balls, even when it doesn't?

**Iowanian** · 01-26-2009, 02:37 PM

I took my kids to the circus this weekend, and they had an amazing sword swallower that looked just like you.

**ChiTown** · 01-26-2009, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian

Do you ever have anyone complain when their haircut just sucks balls, even when it doesn't?

I'm heading out of town tomorrow morning. I have 3 days to devise my plan of attack for Friday's trim.................

Jilly · 01-26-2009, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian

You can use the planets help.

We need to assist you in coming up with as many fellatio suggestive every-day conversation lines as we can, and your job is to USE them during your haircut.

Man...the wind sure is BLOWING the snow around today.

Perhaps this time, you could use a little more creme rinse?

**Iowanian** · 01-26-2009, 02:39 PM

Offer her some chapstick. Don't say anything.

You should probably offer her a tic tac, because when she leans in close to check your bangs on your new ceasar cut, you don't want to be sniffing any cockbreath.

**Iowanian** · 01-26-2009, 02:51 PM

maybe I'll help you with a poem to read her during your trim.

Your husband's day off
home taking a nap.
I couldn't get work done
Interupted by rap.

I came in the walk through
to do bus'ness I was hopin'.
The sign in the window
wasn't all that was open.

I've seen pornos like this
where the chic was the boss
2 enter to disco
and filled her with sauce.

I've consulted urban dictionary
for finishing moves with some power
the dudes give high fives
in one called eiffel tower.

Him from the front
and me from behind
A more lucrative coupon
I'll again never find.

I guess with this photo
There's something to see
Its soothing to know
now my haircuts are free.

**Rain Man** · 01-26-2009, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian

You can use the planets help.

We need to assist you in coming up with as many fellatio suggestive every-day conversation lines as we can, and your job is to USE them during your haircut.

Man...the wind sure is BLOWING the snow around today.

Without reading the whole thread,

"Can you give me a blow dry?"

"My hair is a little flat. I'm hoping you can fluff it up."

"I'm just looking for a little trim today."

"What can I get for $25?"

"Can I just get it teased a little?"

Pennywise · 01-26-2009, 02:52 PM

Tell her you just got a great deal on your new car.

"I never thought I'd get a hummer so cheap."

**ChiTown** · 01-26-2009, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian

maybe I'll help you with a poem to read her during your trim.

Your husband's day off
home taking a nap.
I couldn't get work done
Interupted by rap.

I came in the walk through
to do bus'ness I was hopin'.
The sign in the window
wasn't all that was open.

I've seen pornos like this
where the chic was the boss
2 enter to disco
and filled her with sauce.

I've consulted the urban dictionary
for a finishing move with some power
the dudes give high fives
in one called the eiffel tower.

Him from the front
and me from behind
A more lucrative coupon
I'll again never find.

I guess with this photo
There's something to see
Its soothing to know
now my haircuts are free.

GTFO. Awesome!

bowener · 01-26-2009, 03:03 PM

Are you single and was her husband a douche?

**Iowanian** · 01-26-2009, 03:06 PM

Complaint department
customer service awesome
head massage welcome

01-26-2009, 01:59 PM
ChiTown Stroking to the SB Champs! ChiTown's Avatar Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Flatlands of Kansas	UHHHH. Ok So, I work on the 2nd floor of an office complex in Wichita. The 2nd floor has business's like insurance, investment, energy, etc. The 3rd floor is primarily for hair salons, massage therapy, photography, and the like. Right above my office, there is a hair salon that I go to out of sheer convenience. Earlier today, I hear music blaring above me - fkg rap - and I can't figure wtf is going on. I let it play out for about 10 minutes and then it just starts to fkn annoy me. I'm trying to have a phone conversation and I'm hearing Lil Whayne in the background Anyhoo, I walk up to the 3rd floor salon, and there are no lights on. Initially, I thought maybe they might have some construction workers doing something for them, since they are closed on Monday's - but, where's the lights?. I knock on the door - no answer. I then proceed to walk in and turn the corner to the salon area. And then, I see it. There is a woman, buck naked, blowing a guy in a barber chair. The dude makes eye contact with me. ChiTown "Uhh, sorry bout that". Dude: "Uuh, Uuh, babe" (and points at me) Chick (turning around to see what it is): "F*&^!" (and makes some guttural shrieking noise, while trying to cover herself up) That's the some total of that conversation. Ok, here's where it get's weird. A. Fkg lock the gdamn door next time you dumbfug's B. Chick = Owner of the Salon C. Dude does not equal her husband, whom I have met before D. Chick = Gal who cuts my hair E. I have an appointment with her to cut my hair on Friday Before you ask, yes, she has a very nice ass, and a decent set of knockers. I have totally blocked out any image of the man's penis. I need a drink.........
Posts: 40,102

01-26-2009, 02:31 PM	#46
Iowanian Supporter Iowanian's Avatar Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia	You can use the planets help. We need to assist you in coming up with as many fellatio suggestive every-day conversation lines as we can, and your job is to USE them during your haircut. Man...the wind sure is BLOWING the snow around today.
Posts: 62,273

01-26-2009, 02:31 PM	#47
mikeyis4dcats. Scarlett Johansson's boytoy mikeyis4dcats.'s Avatar Join Date: Nov 2006	say, could you see if she has an opening around 10AM on next Monday?
Posts: 12,526

01-26-2009, 02:31 PM	#48
mikeyis4dcats. Scarlett Johansson's boytoy mikeyis4dcats.'s Avatar Join Date: Nov 2006	now some asshole just needs to figure out which salon this is and call her up.
Posts: 12,526

01-26-2009, 02:32 PM	#50
Iowanian Supporter Iowanian's Avatar Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia	Do you ever have anyone complain when their haircut just sucks balls, even when it doesn't?
Posts: 62,273

01-26-2009, 02:37 PM	#51
Iowanian Supporter Iowanian's Avatar Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia	I took my kids to the circus this weekend, and they had an amazing sword swallower that looked just like you.
Posts: 62,273

01-26-2009, 02:39 PM	#54
Iowanian Supporter Iowanian's Avatar Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia	Offer her some chapstick. Don't say anything. You should probably offer her a tic tac, because when she leans in close to check your bangs on your new ceasar cut, you don't want to be sniffing any cockbreath.
Posts: 62,273

01-26-2009, 02:51 PM	#55
Iowanian Supporter Iowanian's Avatar Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia	maybe I'll help you with a poem to read her during your trim. Your husband's day off home taking a nap. I couldn't get work done Interupted by rap. I came in the walk through to do bus'ness I was hopin'. The sign in the window wasn't all that was open. I've seen pornos like this where the chic was the boss 2 enter to disco and filled her with sauce. I've consulted urban dictionary for finishing moves with some power the dudes give high fives in one called eiffel tower. Him from the front and me from behind A more lucrative coupon I'll again never find. I guess with this photo There's something to see Its soothing to know now my haircuts are free. Last edited by Iowanian; 01-26-2009 at 04:59 PM..
Posts: 62,273

01-26-2009, 02:52 PM	#57
Pennywise pew pew madafakas Pennywise's Avatar Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Derry, Maine	Tell her you just got a great deal on your new car. "I never thought I'd get a hummer so cheap."
Posts: 8,474

01-26-2009, 03:03 PM	#59
bowener BAMF! bowener's Avatar Join Date: Nov 2007	Are you single and was her husband a douche?
Posts: 8,358

01-26-2009, 03:06 PM	#60
Iowanian Supporter Iowanian's Avatar Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia	Complaint department customer service awesome head massage welcome
Posts: 62,273