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#46 |
Certified Bourbon taster
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Shawnee KS
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My favorite was Karate Class. Kata practice, a roomful of teenagers kicking and punching the air in unison, sensei walking back and forth and watching 'em.
"EeeeeYAH" "EeeeeYAH" "EeeeeYAH" BRAAAAAAAAAAAAATPFPFPFFT Silence. Then Sensei said "Someone is ah...working much too hard" |
Posts: 5,080
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#47 |
MVP
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: nemo
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my sister in law let one rip one time in a burger king in omaha. you could hear that bad-boy 35feet away. and she looked real innocent and says to everybody around, "oooh...excuse me!".
have you ever heard anything so crazy? sec ~always blames someone else |
Posts: 13,426
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#48 |
Supporter
Join Date: Aug 2000
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Did anyone see the Jacka$$ when Johnny Knoxville went into a yoga class with some kind of fart noise machine?
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Posts: 95,642
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#49 |
Starter
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Las Vegas, Nevada
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Vindicator lives near Pahrump, Nv....................upwind, thanks
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Posts: 181
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#50 |
Cool as a Cucumber
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: on the edge
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The Mrs. frequently refers to Smitty as a fart noise (and stink) machine.
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Posts: 3,822
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#51 |
Cool as a Cucumber
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: on the edge
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Mrs Smitty Here!!!
What I call him is a stinking a$$hole.
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Posts: 3,822
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#52 |
MVP
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Newport, Or
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Instead of the famous farting how about a man who became famous for farting on stage? I don't know how many of you have ever heard of Le Petomane but here is a link. I originally found out about this reading one of the Uncle John's Bathroom Readers. If you are unfamiliar with these books, you should look for them the next time you are at the bookstore, they are great for just that...reading while sitting and taking care of personal business!
http://www.retroactive.com/jan98/petomane.html |
Posts: 14,735
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#53 |
This place entertains..
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Seattle
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Posts: 5,503
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#54 |
YES, I AM a WOMAN...
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Wichita
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Here's an old college fart story:
We were in chemistry class one day (the prof was a little bit hard of hearing and had a hearing aid). The prof was facing the chalkboard writing down some notes when a classmate ripped a loud one off the wooden desk chair. The class erupted into laughter when the prof turned around as serious as could be and asked "did somebody have a question?" LOL |
Posts: 110
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#55 |
Banned
Join Date: Aug 2000
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Some people believe that a Chief can break wind on command, Joe Montana may have proved that. I can't talk about Ross.
Bob - You may just want to stay out of the john! Have you tried the back tire of a Raider fan? |
Posts: 168
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#56 |
WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS
Join Date: Aug 2000
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Okay, you asked for it. Here is my greatest fart story.
I was at the movies with my former wife and a Navy buddy. We were watching Clint Eastwood's Heartbreak Ridge. This is a military movie, and as we were in Norfolk, the theater was packed. Anyway, I cut the most vile, noxious, deadly green fog fart in the history of the universe right in the middle of the theater. It was a silent killer, though. I waited about five seconds, then stood up, looked at my wife and exclaimed "G#DDAMN!" and then moved to another seat. And my buddy moved with me. She didn't speak to me for three days.... ![]() |
Posts: 119,675
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#57 |
Certified Bourbon taster
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Shawnee KS
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I just hope Bob Dole never meets the current president of Russia in a men's room. I can see Bob Dole's tale now.
"Tootin' with Putin". |
Posts: 5,080
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#58 |
NFL's #1 Ermines Fan
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: My house
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I'm incredibly embarrassed and ashamed that I'm laughing at this stuff.
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Posts: 142,221
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#59 |
Just a man in the 'ghan
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Jalalabad, Afghanistan
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Sorry, I couldn't resist. I'll share a story (albeit a bit late).
When I was stationed in Berlin, we had an annual NCO call at the NCO club and the Commanding General was the guest speaker. All the NCOs were seated in a U shape facing the middle and my best friend Jerry was seated next to me. Jerry had a habit of being a bit of a prankster when drinking and by the time the colors were brought in he was 2 sheets to the wind. At the announcement of the General the command "Present Arms" was given. In response to the command we all snapped off a sharp salute and Jerry simultaneously snapped off the positively loudest butt explosion I think I have ever heard. The funniest part was that nobody dared smile or even smirk although the natural reaction was to belly laugh. The SGT Major and General never missed a beat although the SGT Major was eying the assembled NCOs trying to discover the offender. After NCO call Jerry and I laughed outside the club for at least a half hour. |
Posts: 13,670
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#60 |
That's just f***in' stupid
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: suburbia
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Should have turned in his direction and peed on the top of his crazy little munchkin head.
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Posts: 12,355
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