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Reload this Page 15K penis's examined. How do you measure up?
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View Poll Results: Do you have a larger penis than the average in this study?
Yes, I'm larger 105 77.21%
No, I'm below the curve line 7 5.15%
I'm the average in the poll 18 13.24%
GAZ has the biggest penis on earth 6 4.41%
Voters: 136. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 03-05-2015, 04:29 PM   #2
KC native KC native is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hootie 2.0 View Post
Well,

Fortunately my friends and I have ... you know ... common sense. So we don't say things like, "oh man my penis is huge! too big for most girls!" Or things like, "hey bro! I got an 8" dick. No big deal!"

...because who says shit like that?

How do I put this ...

if you say things like that, you're just a huge ****ing pillowbitergot (with probably a pretty low IQ)
says the guy who stopped serving tables about two years ago.
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Old 03-05-2015, 04:38 PM   #3
Nightfyre Nightfyre is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hootie 2.0 View Post
Well,

Fortunately my friends and I have ... you know ... common sense. So we don't say things like, "oh man my penis is huge! too big for most girls!" Or things like, "hey bro! I got an 8" dick. No big deal!"

...because who says shit like that?

How do I put this ...

if you say things like that, you're just a huge ****ing pillowbitergot (with probably a pretty low IQ)
Whatever. Guys in a male-driven culture, such as a locker-room or in the military or whatever, will always make stupid comments and jokes to this effect. And there is always one guy who takes it too far for comic effect. Native is that guy in this thread. But you clearly have never been privy to such a culture, so you do not understand the dynamic here.
Rather than laughing about it and giving native shit like every other person in the thread, you chose to make it about you. You have some serious issues you need to get ironed out by a professional.


Final point: despite native's dick pic, Hootie is still the king of oversharing on Chiefsplanet. Frankly, I don't know why we let a confessed rapist back on the BB.
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Old 03-05-2015, 05:58 PM   #4
MeatRock MeatRock is offline
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Originally Posted by Nightfyre View Post
It is almost like Hootie has never been a part of a locker room or large group of guys that hang out a lot.
Then you must hang out with a bunch of pillowbiters. Dudes comparing dicks with each other in a locker room? WTF?
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Old 03-05-2015, 04:26 PM   #5
KC native KC native is offline
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Originally Posted by Hootie 2.0 View Post
Bro.

Prop up my ego?

really?

as soon as someone says something like, "girls have told me my dick was too big for sex so they just blew me instead" ... there is really nothing more to prove.

I already know I'm a much better person than anyone who says that shit with a straight face.

God damn. That much is obvious.

Who says stuff like that? To dudes? On a message board?


Holy ****. You really believe you're a better person than me.

This is ****ing hilarious.

You're a leasing agent at a ****ing apartment complex for college kids that still gets black out drunk on a regular basis despite being almost 30 years old.

You've relayed stories of what most people consider rape over the years. You've also mentioned your STD history here.

I could go on.

You really need some help man.
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Old 03-05-2015, 04:29 PM   #6
Discuss Thrower Discuss Thrower is offline
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I did not expect to see a penis beside my own in a non-pornographic context today.

So there's that.
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Old 03-05-2015, 04:31 PM   #7
Hootie Hootie is offline
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When Chris Johnson goes to night clubs, or meets people ...

how many times do you think he's like, "hey guys, I'm Chris ... I run a 4.2 40!"

Uhm, probably never.

You want to know who says things like that? People (men for the most part) with a complex.

Our boy KC Native basically described himself in this thread as an uncoordinated mess (stone hands, no agility). Basically, he isn't athletic at all. An uncoordinated booger-eating dipshit. There's your complex.

We played flag football with this kid we met through a girl we went to high school with ... the dude was so bad it was hilarious. Our QB was amazing ... he threw him a ball one time ... it ****ed blasted him straight in the chest in the end zone, bounced up, was picked off ... it was maybe the most uncoordinated thing I've ever seen in my life. His response, "I wasn't ready!!!" He tried playing QB (we wouldn't let him) and he literally couldn't throw the ball overhand. I'm not kidding. He'd warm up, play catch, and throw the ball like underhand ... and he didn't know he was bad. He literally wanted to play QB. Couldn't throw. Had no idea. It was hysterical.

We nicknamed him "booger eater." He's a good looking cat, too. The aformentioned girl is pretty hot (she was a hell of an athlete, too, which is hilarious). But he was so oblivious to how terrible he was it was hysterical. "Booger eater."

That's pretty much how I picture our boy Native at this point.
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Old 03-05-2015, 04:36 PM   #8
KC native KC native is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hootie 2.0 View Post
When Chris Johnson goes to night clubs, or meets people ...

how many times do you think he's like, "hey guys, I'm Chris ... I run a 4.2 40!"

Uhm, probably never.

You want to know who says things like that? People (men for the most part) with a complex.

Our boy KC Native basically described himself in this thread as an uncoordinated mess (stone hands, no agility). Basically, he isn't athletic at all. An uncoordinated booger-eating dipshit. There's your complex.

We played flag football with this kid we met through a girl we went to high school with ... the dude was so bad it was hilarious. Our QB was amazing ... he threw him a ball one time ... it ****ed blasted him straight in the chest in the end zone, bounced up, was picked off ... it was maybe the most uncoordinated thing I've ever seen in my life. His response, "I wasn't ready!!!" He tried playing QB (we wouldn't let him) and he literally couldn't throw the ball overhand. I'm not kidding. He'd warm up, play catch, and throw the ball like underhand ... and he didn't know he was bad. He literally wanted to play QB. Couldn't throw. Had no idea. It was hysterical.

We nicknamed him "booger eater." He's a good looking cat, too. The aformentioned girl is pretty hot (she was a hell of an athlete, too, which is hilarious). But he was so oblivious to how terrible he was it was hysterical. "Booger eater."

That's pretty much how I picture our boy Native at this point.


Where did I say I was an uncoordinated mess? Lacking agility doesn't mean someone isn't fast. If fast coordinated into football ability then every track star in the world would be an awesome football player and we know that's not true from watching the Raiders over the years.

Your ability to twist what people say to fit within whatever scenario you have in your head is ****ing awesome.
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Old 03-05-2015, 04:34 PM   #9
Hootie Hootie is offline
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I've been proud of the chlamydia diagnosis every time (3) it has happened. I wouldn't trade those experiences for a thing. A Z pack and a badge of honor.

...but this isn't about me, my degenerate life style, or my occupation...

this is about a guy who has grown such an inferiority complex over the years he's posting his erection for all to see on CHIEFSPLANET.COM

I mean...

lol
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Old 03-05-2015, 04:36 PM   #10
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Originally Posted by Hootie 2.0 View Post
I've been proud of the chlamydia diagnosis every time (3) it has happened.
What does it feel like? How do you get rid of it?
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Old 03-05-2015, 04:38 PM   #11
ThaVirus ThaVirus is offline
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What does it feel like? How do you get rid of it?
Might burn when you pee, your pee hole might itch, your dick might leak some shit that looks like cocoa butter.. Or you might not feel a thing..

Just takes some antibiotics and you're good to go in about a week.
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Old 03-05-2015, 04:41 PM   #12
Hootie Hootie is offline
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What does it feel like? How do you get rid of it?
never had sympotoms, I gave it to my ex a long time ago and that's how I was diagnosed ... and we reinfected each other twice being morons

1 pill - 2 weeks no sex - gone
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Old 03-05-2015, 04:38 PM   #13
KC native KC native is offline
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Originally Posted by Hootie 2.0 View Post
I've been proud of the chlamydia diagnosis every time (3) it has happened. I wouldn't trade those experiences for a thing. A Z pack and a badge of honor.

...but this isn't about me, my degenerate life style, or my occupation...

this is about a guy who has grown such an inferiority complex over the years he's posting his erection for all to see on CHIEFSPLANET.COM

I mean...

lol


proud of getting the clap multiple times.

Way to aim high there buddy.

It's amazing how pissed you are because someone called your bluff and was "edgier" than you.
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Old 03-05-2015, 04:36 PM   #14
Hootie Hootie is offline
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we tried running a zone defense with booger eater ... and he kept ****ing it up ... and his zone would score and he'd be like, "that wasn't my man! that wasn't my man!" and one of our teammates finally said, "hey, moron, it's a ****ing zone, you don't have a ****ing man."

oh booger eater ... even you aren't as pathetic as the dude posting boner pics on a public domain on a football message board
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Old 03-05-2015, 04:38 PM   #15
stevieray stevieray is offline
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Native is gay?
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