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#31 |
Cool as a Cucumber
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: on the edge
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How about Gaseous Gaffes by the Greats?
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Posts: 3,822
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#32 |
Set it & forget it
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: On the road to Shambala
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Just for the record, Chi
That eye-watering black cloud of stink came from Donna Douglas.
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Posts: 8,043
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#33 |
Guest
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I have a buddy with a twisted sense of humor that rivals mine and he SWEARS this story is true:
Apparently his sister is just wrapping up business at a highway rest area in rural Alabama (rurl 'bama as in way dowen south) when she hears an extremely large black woman labor up from her perch and exclaim to nobody in particular, "COWN, WHE-AN DID AH EAT COWN?!?!?" Story cracks me up every time I hear it! Hearing it is probably the operative phrase.... Last edited by Phobia; 09-17-2001 at 02:36 PM.. |
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#34 |
Say hello to my little friend
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Larryville
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It's not a trait unique to Ms. Douglas. I stayed with my grandparents for a couple of weeks last year, and hoo-boy! Must be the Metamucil.
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Posts: 47,314
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#35 |
Supporter
Join Date: Aug 2000
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Didn't happen to me, but I read about a dad who took his 4-5 year old daughter to the hardware store with him. Evidently she was old enough to go the the bathroom on her own, or so he thought.
Anyway she told him she had to go and he let her take off for the ladies room while he continued shopping. A few minutes later, the girl came back and told him the the toilet wouldn't flush and asked if he could come help. Then, rather than take him to the ladies room, she led him over to the plumbing aisle on the showroom floor. You can guess the rest from there. |
Posts: 95,642
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#36 |
Archivist
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: The Ethernet
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ChiTown...thanks for the laughs. My sides hurt from laughing so hard.
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Posts: 26,193
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#37 |
Guest
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Chi-town,
In all seriousness, that was probably the aftershock of a claustomy bag flush that you felt. I last smelled that when I was 17 years old, but still catch a waft now and then. Nothing can compare! |
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#38 |
Guest
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on a similar note....yet no celebrity
When I was a kid(5-6th grade) i think my mother had the pleasure of taking all of us shopping with her while on a trip to KC. Brother #3 was probably 2-3 years old. An always adventurous boy, he was a real handfull to keep track of.......and as usual, turn for 1 second and he was gone.....
A frantic search of the area revealed no boy....amidst the confusion a jeans rack shook and out hopped a small boy....looking might mighty guilty... Further investigation revealed that he had "dropped the kids off" in the middle of the jeans rack and had cleaned himself up with about half a rack of jeans. Left that little gift basket and were herded home....always wondered who found that.... |
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#39 |
Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: floating in a tin can
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This thread is hilarious!
Have I not matured at all since 7th grade? The spouse would say NO. Reminds me of a buddy of mine (not famous) who was attending a small Jr.College in S.Dakota. He had started dating a girl, maybe 2 dates, and they were getting fond of one another. One evening he was standing in front of some french doors, just staring at the sunset (apparently that is what they do in S. Dakota for entertainment). The girl came in the room unbeknownst to him, and spying him, she decided to sneek up behind him and scare him. She chose to take her two forefingers and simultaneously poke him in both sides, which she did, startling him and causing him to both jump and suddenly emit an audible and foul report. He was mortified, and being a kind of shy guy, never got the courage to ask her out again. |
Posts: 3,829
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#40 |
This place entertains..
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Seattle
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Anybody ever done la maz classes? I have ..:o
During the quick breathing exercise, my wife and I could not help laughing.. (the exercise involved looking at each other and do short quick breaths for a period of time) So, we are doing this exercise and we start to smile , and then we both busted out laughing..I was trying so hard not to laugh that my wind had a trumpet effect (tightening up, well anyway it was loud!) Now the whole class busted out laughing and Mr and Mrs Seahawk were slightly red in the face.... |
Posts: 5,503
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#41 |
King Shit of **** Mountain
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Texarkana, Texas
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Can you imagine what visiting Giants fans are reporting back on their home BB about KC fans?
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Posts: 49,387
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#42 |
Guest
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Ever done a military style PFT? It includes doing as many situps as you possibly can in a 2 minute window while your buddy holds your ankles. Well, a blind man could count mine because they were simultaneously announced with a quick "PFFFT"..... Nobody ever wanted to hold my ankles, I always had to "buddy" up with someone new to the unit.
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#43 |
Supporter
Join Date: Aug 2000
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Nothing like the echoing blasts inevitably emitted in Junior High Gym. You remember the stretching exercise where you laid on your back, brought your knees to your chest and then extended your legs horizontally without letting your heels touch the ground.
The sublime mixture of concrete walls, pine floors, paper thin shorts, the right stretches and a teenager's concept of humor. |
Posts: 95,642
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#44 |
King Shit of **** Mountain
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Texarkana, Texas
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Bob Dole's problem was always with the first 20 steps of running.
Phrack, boop. pffft, skwak, moo, phhh, etc... |
Posts: 49,387
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#45 |
Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: floating in a tin can
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moo..??
Little neighbor girl came over one day and was watching TV with the kids. Suddenly she says " I made a bean". We all looked at her, wondering what she meant, but almost immediatly sniffed out the answer. |
Posts: 3,829
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