...

**Rain Man** · 09-03-2018, 02:10 PM

We're down to the Elite Eight - the toughest and/or luckiest warriors on the planet.

Vote for the person that you think would win this match in a battle to death or submission. As background, assume that prior to the tournament you received 10 minutes of training on every weapon. The time listed is the amount of time before the match where you learn what the weaponry and venue is. All participants are handed their weapons at t=0 unless stated otherwise.

Venue - A penguin rookery in Antarctica
Starting Distance - 44 feet

Sofa King

Main Weapon - Pepper spray
Backup Weapon - Bo Staff

Prep Time - 6 seconds
Special Factors - None

kysirsoze

Main Weapon - Brass knuckles with big blades that look like bear claws (both hands)
Backup Weapon - Police baton

Prep Time - 11 Minutes
Special Factors - None

Sofa King · 09-05-2018, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJ's left nut

The Bo staff has a significant reach advantage. It would be hard to get inside of one of those to attack with the wolverine claws.

I think Sofa King holds him back with some well time parries and thrusts before Kysir makes a wild lunge and Sofa comes around to brain him.

The actual 'death' process will be pretty nasty as it will just be a whole bunch of blunt force trauma to the face, but I feel like Sofa has the better weapon to neutralize and incapacitate.

I agree. You’re an intelligent human.

**kysirsoze** · 09-05-2018, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJ's left nut

The Bo staff has a significant reach advantage. It would be hard to get inside of one of those to attack with the wolverine claws.

I think Sofa King holds him back with some well time parries and thrusts before Kysir makes a wild lunge and Sofa comes around to brain him.

The actual 'death' process will be pretty nasty as it will just be a whole bunch of blunt force trauma to the face, but I feel like Sofa has the better weapon to neutralize and incapacitate.

Haha. Outrageous. Sofa hasn't even bothered to claim any kind of weapon proficiency. No way he could pull off what you're suggesting. I have punched people before. All the proficiency I need with my very simple and extremely deadly weapon.

Sofa King · 09-05-2018, 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kysirsoze

Haha. Outrageous. Sofa hasn't even bothered to claim any kind of weapon proficiency. No way he could pull off what you're suggesting. I have punched people before. All the proficiency I need with my very simple and extremely deadly weapon.

Donkey Punching your mom in the fart box doesn’t count bitch.

**kysirsoze** · 09-05-2018, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sofa King

Donkey Punching your mom in the fart box doesn’t count bitch.

I feel like punching your face wouldn't be a lot different. Her defenses are probably stronger, too.

Sofa King · 09-05-2018, 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kysirsoze

I feel like punching your face wouldn't be a lot different. Her defenses are probably stronger, too.

Bitch, I’ve seen your mom, his defenses are definitely mighty.

Sofa King · 09-05-2018, 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sofa King

Don’t forget to cast your votes (for me) if you haven’t already.

It's not too late. Come ride with me all the way to the end!

Sofa King · 09-06-2018, 02:16 PM

I dedicate this bump to all those people who are excited to see Patrick Mahomes this weekend. Those people should definitely vote for Sofa King

**Rain Man** · 09-06-2018, 02:34 PM

At the end of the day, Antarctic penguins who have never encountered a polar bear find themselves in therapy, and kysirsoze moves on to Round 5 (the final four).

Sofa King · 09-06-2018, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

At the end of the day, Antarctic penguins who have never encountered a polar bear find themselves in therapy, and kysirsoze moves on to Round 5 (the final four).

You ended this too soon

**kysirsoze** · 09-07-2018, 02:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sofa King

You ended this too soon

Sorry man. Guess three aren't many Mahomes fans on this board, you pandering bastard.

Sofa King · 09-07-2018, 06:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kysirsoze

Sorry man. Guess three aren't many Mahomes fans on this board, you pandering bastard.

I was down a vote, launched my hail mary. The problem was Rain Man cut the damn poll short! I just needed a little more time.

Oh well, guess my job is to either back you up the rest of the tournament or be the villian and try to tear you down. I'll have to see how i feel after I get done ruining Rain Man's reputation.

**Rain Man** · 09-07-2018, 07:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sofa King

You ended this too soon

That's not what the penguins said.

**kysirsoze** · 09-07-2018, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sofa King

I was down a vote, launched my hail mary. The problem was Rain Man cut the damn poll short! I just needed a little more time.

Oh well, guess my job is to either back you up the rest of the tournament or be the villian and try to tear you down. I'll have to see how i feel after I get done ruining Rain Man's reputation.

After your spurious mult claims, you owe me.

Sofa King · 09-07-2018, 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kysirsoze

After your spurious mult claims, you owe me.

I think maybe you should take a step back and look at what kind of person you are that people would so quickly assume your shadiness.

Sofa King · 09-07-2018, 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

That's not what the penguins said.

Better check your sources.

View Poll Results: Who wins?
Sofa King	17	48.57%
kysirsoze	18	51.43%
Voters: 35. You may not vote on this poll

09-03-2018, 02:10 PM
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Rain Man's Avatar Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house	Gladiator 2018 - Round 4, Match 2 - Sofa King versus kysirsoze We're down to the Elite Eight - the toughest and/or luckiest warriors on the planet. Vote for the person that you think would win this match in a battle to death or submission. As background, assume that prior to the tournament you received 10 minutes of training on every weapon. The time listed is the amount of time before the match where you learn what the weaponry and venue is. All participants are handed their weapons at t=0 unless stated otherwise. Venue - A penguin rookery in Antarctica Starting Distance - 44 feet Sofa King Main Weapon - Pepper spray Backup Weapon - Bo Staff Prep Time - 6 seconds Special Factors - None kysirsoze Main Weapon - Brass knuckles with big blades that look like bear claws (both hands) Backup Weapon - Police baton Prep Time - 11 Minutes Special Factors - None
Posts: 141,893

09-06-2018, 02:16 PM	#37
Sofa King Hello Sofa King's Avatar Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: South Dakota	I dedicate this bump to all those people who are excited to see Patrick Mahomes this weekend. Those people should definitely vote for Sofa King
Posts: 23,256

09-06-2018, 02:34 PM	#38
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Rain Man's Avatar Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house	At the end of the day, Antarctic penguins who have never encountered a polar bear find themselves in therapy, and kysirsoze moves on to Round 5 (the final four).
Posts: 141,893