I am learning empathy for the homeless

[Hydrae]

I don't even know how to start. Right now, it looks like my wife and I may be homeless next month. I was laid off from my job after 9 and a half years because the company decided to change the structure of their gold standard support team. That was a wonderful Monday morning last October. At least the one other time I was laid off it was because they moved their support team to India. That was at least kind of understandable. They also gave me a month's severance pay for each year I had worked for them (6 years). This time I got 2 months of severance for my 9.5 years of service. Given my previous experience, that felt like an additional slap to the face.

In an attempt to keep our house, we have left it and leased it out to 2 of my children, a nephew, and a close friend of one of my sons. This is not a good time to try to sell and we were to the point where we weren't sure we could pay the mortgage. They are covering the mortgage plus about $1000. So technically we have some income and even own a house. That "income" is great, but it doesn't go very far and is far from covering the rent on the apartment we have rented. And without an income we can't even tap into the ~$250,000 of equity (monetary term, not social bullshit!). I suppose we could put it on the market but that would screw over the young people there now and I don't want to pass my trouble to the next generation.

I have worked in tech support for the entirety of this century and that is only 4 jobs. I have never been a job hopper obviously. Since I was laid off last October, I have sent out hundreds of resumes. In that time, I have gotten less than 20 initial interviews and maybe 6 actual interviews. I even made it through the entire process a couple of times but obviously nothing has panned out. I will be 64 in a couple of weeks, and I have to wonder if part of the issue has been a form of ageism. At this point in my life, I am not excited to grow in a career. I just want to do awesome work, go home, and retire in a few years. Corporate America wants people who are looking to advance and better themselves. Of course, in a year or two that new hire will move on to the next opportunity while I would still be there consistent as always (as seen by 4 jobs in over 20 years).

So we made the fateful decision to follow our dream. We had plans to move back "home" to Oregon this past spring. Losing my job put the kibosh on that. Well, in our attempt to keep the house until the Fed lowers interest rates and the housing market to heat back up a little, we have moved to Oregon. I have been working remote since before the pandemic so I should be able to work from anywhere. Of course, after the last 10 months finances are thin to be kind, so it was a bit of a leap of faith. We are here now on the Oregon coast, my wife has a part time job that she loves but doesn't pay much, and I am trying to find ANYTHING at this point. I thought I was going to get a retail job making a whopping $16.75 an hour (I was making $84k a year before the layoff) but got screwed up regarding the drug test and lost that opportunity. Sorry, I do not follow blind links in a text. They could have at least put a note in the text about what the link was for. Well, that was the order for me to go piss in a cup and it expired in 48 hours. I was under the impression that I was going to get an email and was waiting for them to finish a background check. This is considered the same as a failure, so I am out with no recourse. I do feel bad for the manager as she was desperate for someone and will likely have to cancel her vacation in a few weeks.

I know a lot of this is just rambling, but it is how messed up my head is right now. I can't sleep for more than an hour at a time. It is 3 AM as I type this. I have never had an issue with getting a job in my life and have never been out of work for more than a few weeks. Right now, not only do I not see a light at the end of the tunnel, there isn't even a sign of a train. It is just black, and I am stumbling along with no idea where I may be heading. This does lead me to saying thank you to Detox. I noted his signature line a couple days ago and sent him a rep because it buoyed me up. He responded with a wonderfully supportive note which, given my current emotional and mental state, made me cry. That was also the day before I learned that I had screwed up the potential job I had on the line.

So, as the thread title states, I better understand how some of the homeless came to be that way through no fault of their own. I can tell you, the depression and desperation that I am going through does just functioning on a daily basis very hard.

Sorry to dump on everyone's day. I had to try to get some of this crap out of my head. No replies necessary, I just thank Kyle for creating this wonderful community where I can vent. Now I am going to go cry again and maybe, hopefully, get some more sleep.

[BigRedChief]

Sorry to hear about your situation. You are nearing retirement age. In the tech world, thats career ending.

I'm retired now but the last 5 years or so it was tougher to find the right position. Most jobs i got were for an old grizzled veteran who could apply that experience in a challenging environment.

I've helped many people on here with their resumes. If you would like me to take a look at your resume and recommend some tweaks, I'd be happy to assist.

Also check with socuial security about how much you would receive if you decided to retire. Do some math. Many techs I know that are around your age couldn't find work. They sold their house. Took the equity money and bought a smaller house. And took social security.

Hang in there. Just think every day that something positive is just around the corner. Anything I can do to help, just hollar.

[Lzen]

Originally Posted by Hydrae

Well, sleep isn't happening so here is the anger that goes with the depression:

God damn mother ****er!

I have never taken unemployment in my life and I got all of $500 a week for 6 months and nothing more. Whee, that helped slow the bleeding for a short while. Of course, when I was laid off HR told me that they didn't care if I applied for unemployment right away. So, silly me, I did so. Well, the state went, oh you are still getting paid by your previous employer to you can reapply 2 months after that ends. Assholes all around.

And **** corporate America. Corporations are persons, my ass! At least with a person there is a chance for a little empathy. Oh no, it is all about the bottom line. The rich assholes don't give a shit as long as their investment grows. If that means that some people get screwed and left with nothing, it doesn't matter. We will just give them a pittance at best so we can virtue signal what nice, caring people we are. **** THAT!

And don't even get me started on the little bullshit like, smoking is evil. The entire apartment complex we moved into is no smoking. So, go stand out on the street corner so everyone can point and laugh (not literally of course). But hey, there is a park down the street but no smoking is allowed there either! Why don't you just get over with and make cigarettes illegal!

Along those lines, Oregon has legal pot. But I can't smoke on the apartment property and smoking pot in public is not legal. So, I can buy without worry but have nowhere I can actually partake! What the **** is up with that? Heaven forbid you are a tourist who would like to take advantage of the opportunity. So, what are they supposed to do, take it home with them? But taking it across state lines is a federal offence. How ****ed up can you get?

Did you know that every time you apply for a job online you have to set up an account. I have created hundreds of accounts during my searching. But stay safe online. Don't let yourself be exposed to inconvenient things like data breaches. Well, my ****ing data is all over the place just because I want a ****ing job. Sons of bitches! I have always been aware of the dangers and keep a pretty low profile online as a result. That is all shot to hell now and nothing to show for it either!

Wow, I thought this might help but it is not possible to rage properly in this format. I am a very non violent person but I want to hit something so badly. Over and over again!

I tried to put NSFW tags on this but have now learned that is for images only, not text. My apologies for language.

That text thing is BS. It seems that corporate America nowadays only wants to do everything online. My son has had similar issues with this kind of thing. It's stupid. Why not just call? Sounds like it would have saved the manager a lot of trouble.

Understandable to be mad and want to cuss. People have the option to censor cusswords in their user CP.

Your situation sucks. Just keep plugging and something will be there, eventually. In the meantime, perhaps do odd jobs, Door Dash, whatever it takes to get by.

[Bearcat]

Originally Posted by LoneWolf

2. Does the lease agreement you signed allow you to sublease to someone so you can get out of there and move somewhere cheaper?

Potentially subleasing is a good idea, I think a lot of landlords will work towards a resolution for the sake of cash flow, etc.... doesn't hurt to ask, and they may even let you out of it.

My guess is the more transparent you are with them and the sooner you chat with them, the more they'll work with you...every once in a while other people will surprise you.

Taking from a 401k would suck, but yeah it's a last resort that could help, too.

[Hammock Parties]

I hope they die.

[Bearcat]

Originally Posted by Lzen

That text thing is BS. It seems that corporate America nowadays only wants to do everything online. My son has had similar issues with this kind of thing. It's stupid. Why not just call? Sounds like it would have saved the manager a lot of trouble.

Understandable to be mad and want to cuss. People have the option to censor cusswords in their user CP.

Your situation sucks. Just keep plugging and something will be there, eventually. In the meantime, perhaps do odd jobs, Door Dash, whatever it takes to get by.

I had a dentist office send dumb links via text... didn't look remotely legit and all of them saying I had a balance due when I didn't think that was the case.

I tell people all the time to not click on anything, but then you'd receive something like that and assume it's a scam.... and just pick up the damn phone to confirm someone got the text if they haven't heard back, or warn them ahead of time.

[Womble]

Do you Americans not have pensions?

[ThrobProng]

Originally Posted by Womble

Do you Americans not have pensions?

They used to be common, but over the last 40-50 years they have nearly become a thing of the past.

[ptlyon]

Originally Posted by Womble

Do you Americans not have pensions?

Depends on the job. Most do not anymore.

When I started working for my current employer, yes we did. Also what they called a medical bucket. Profit sharing in stocks too. I've been here 26 years.

Soon after, we were bought out. That's when they abolished all of it away. Anybody after would have to rely on 401k or other personal investments.

Side note, I'm grandfather'd in on those original perks.

[Womble]

Originally Posted by ptlyon

Depends on the job. Most do not anymore.

When I started working for my current employer, yes we did. Also what they called a medical bucket. Profit sharing in stocks too. I've been here 26 years.

Soon after, we were bought out. That's when they abolished all of it away. Anybody after would have to rely on 401k or other personal investments.

Crazy. Here there's a requirement for employers to offer a workplace pension scheme and they have to contribute at least 3 percent of your salary if the employee contributes. If you're a professional you can expect anywhere from a 5% to 12% employer contribution. Also the government guarantees 90% of your total pension amount if you're in receipt of a defined benefit pension and the pension scheme goes tits up. Although there aren't many defined benefit pension schemes offered anymore. British communism has its benefits.

[Nirvana58]

Originally Posted by LoneWolf

I have a lot of questions and if these questions come off as condescending, I apologize in advance.

1. Why did you move to one of the most expensive states in America before you had employment?

2. Does the lease agreement you signed allow you to sublease to someone so you can get out of there and move somewhere cheaper?

3. Does your wife have the ability to get a full-time job or is that conversation a non-starter?

4. I assume at your age and with you planning to retire at 67 that you have some investments built up. Any possibility that any of those are liquid enough to cash in without a major penalty to get you by unitl you find employment?

I'm really sorry you are going through all of this and I'm sure it seems like the whole world is against you right now. It sounds like you have family that cares about you. Don't be afraid to swallow your pride a little and ask for help.

Good luck. I wish you all the best.

I believe at age 64 he can draw from 401k or any retirement account without any penalties.

Would definitely be an option I would consider.

[warpaint*]

Something like 40% of Americans would struggle to cover a $400 emergency expense w/o borrowing money or selling something. Many have little savings to survive job loss. The reality is many of us can be where you are in a short period of time. I am not in a position to help but you have my empathy & prayer for a new job opportunity soon OP.

[BigRedChief]

Originally Posted by Womble

Crazy. Here there's a requirement for employers to offer a workplace pension scheme and they have to contribute at least 3 percent of your salary if the employee contributes. If you're a professional you can expect anywhere from a 5% to 12% employer contribution. Also the government guarantees 90% of your total pension amount if you're in receipt of a defined benefit pension and the pension scheme goes tits up. Although there aren't many defined benefit pension schemes offered anymore. British communism has its benefits.

Most employers will contribute or match your 401K money. So say you are sitting aside 3%, they would match that for a 6% contribution to a 401K every payday.

[ptlyon]

Originally Posted by BigRedChief

Most employers will contribute or match your 401K money. So say you are sitting aside 3%, they would match that for a 6% contribution to a 401K every payday.

Correct. 3% here.

[Shiver Me Timbers]

Originally Posted by Hydrae

I don't even know how to start. Right now, it looks like my wife and I may be homeless next month...........................

Sent you a PM but it does not show up as sent. Not sure why.
If you don't get it send me a PM I can respond to.

[ChiTown]

Originally Posted by BigRedChief

Most employers will contribute or match your 401K money. So say you are sitting aside 3%, they would match that for a 6% contribution to a 401K every payday.

My 26 year old Son is getting up to 6% matched and he puts in another 6% beyond that.