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Old 05-19-2014, 11:46 AM  
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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I'm on a mission to shit
Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
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Old 05-19-2014, 05:39 PM   #181
htismaqe htismaqe is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by T-Town View Post
Epsom salt works for me everytime.
Magnesium citrate has essentially the same effect (Epsom salts are actually magnesium sulfate) and it tastes a bit better.
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Old 05-19-2014, 05:43 PM   #182
ShortRoundChief ShortRoundChief is offline
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Ask for the suppository laxative and don't chicken out like I did. Make the nurse insert it
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Old 05-19-2014, 05:46 PM   #183
lcarus lcarus is offline
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Is it from the pain pill?
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lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 05:47 PM   #184
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lcarus View Post
Is it from the pain pill?
I guess. At this point if I can deal with the pain tonight I'm going to sleep without it.
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Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 05:51 PM   #185
htismaqe htismaqe is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Count Zarth View Post
I guess. At this point if I can deal with the pain tonight I'm going to sleep without it.
If you're taking an opioid/opiate painkiller, that's definitely a potential source of your problem.
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htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 05:51 PM   #186
JoeyChuckles JoeyChuckles is offline
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What's an indian bean? Sounds racist.
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Old 05-19-2014, 05:52 PM   #187
lcarus lcarus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Count Zarth View Post
I guess. At this point if I can deal with the pain tonight I'm going to sleep without it.
Yeah those pain killers will clog you up. Especially them percocets.
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lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 05:53 PM   #188
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeyChuckles View Post
What's an indian bean? Sounds racist.
Looks the same going in as coming out...
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Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 05:54 PM   #189
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by htismaqe View Post
If you're taking an opioid/opiate painkiller, that's definitely a potential source of your problem.
No shit?
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Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 05:55 PM   #190
lcarus lcarus is offline
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No shit at all
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lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 05:58 PM   #191
Buzz Buzz is offline
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When I had knee surgery I didn't crap for 5 days and they wouldn't let me out of the hospital untll I did. I finally crapped a baseball size turd and it hurt like hell!
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Old 05-19-2014, 06:03 PM   #192
Dante84 Dante84 is offline
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You should go get your colon cleansed.

They put a hose in your butt, spray all up in it, and then it shoots out like a chocolate fountain (but into a hose, I think).
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Old 05-19-2014, 06:05 PM   #193
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Got some pressure building...
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Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 06:07 PM   #194
LoneWolf LoneWolf is offline
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C'mon, shit ****er. I have to teach a class in 30 minutes and I don't want to have to keep pulling up ChiefsPlanet on the big screen during the class.
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LoneWolf is obviously part of the inner Circle.LoneWolf is obviously part of the inner Circle.LoneWolf is obviously part of the inner Circle.LoneWolf is obviously part of the inner Circle.LoneWolf is obviously part of the inner Circle.LoneWolf is obviously part of the inner Circle.LoneWolf is obviously part of the inner Circle.LoneWolf is obviously part of the inner Circle.LoneWolf is obviously part of the inner Circle.LoneWolf is obviously part of the inner Circle.LoneWolf is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 06:09 PM   #195
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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