For those with children: Do you think you’re a better parent than your parents were?

[ThaVirus]

Discuss

[trndobrd]

My kids are too young (teens) to know how they will turn out…but so far so good.

To say I am a “better parent” would be an unfair comparison given the vastly different circumstances of having kids at 19 vs late 30’s. I was more deliberate about getting established, getting married, then having kids. My parents went in the reverse order. But….they stayed married, emphasized good grades (college was never considered growing up), hard work, and we always had a roof over our heads. My Mom graduated HS, my Dad did not, but both were voracious readers, mostly westerns and romance novels…the example of seeing my parents reading all the time stuck with me.

I set better conditions for my kids (graduate degree, career, married 4 years before kids etc.) and more experience in life than my parents. But I cannot say I would have done better if I had their starting hand.

[ChiefsFan63]

Originally Posted by loochy

It has definitely declined. As their mental capacity has waned greatly, it's really hard to have conversations with them because they no longer understand most of what I talk about. My mom can follow basic normal stuff, like talking about grandson and whatnot, but she can't follow along with complex things like me talking about what I do for work or political discussion or stocks and finances. My dad is very far gone and he remembers pretty much nothing from my childhood and can really only speak in sweeping generalities most of the time. It's like I've already lost my parents even though they are still here.

That's rough man. My prayers go out to you and your family. I see mental decline in both my mom and step dad, but nothing to the extent you are going through. Stay strong my friend.

[Buehler445]

Originally Posted by DJ's left nut

I'll openly concede that I'm needlessly dogmatic here, but I'll never understand the "lets get married at the courthouse" folks.

It's important. ACT like it.

I've never known a couple to do the half-assed marriage thing where "Oh we're gonna just get the certificate signed and have a party later" where the marriage lasted. Now I don't know 50 people like that, but I think I know 5 or 6 and all of those folks got divorced within 5 years. And yes, I know that it's not universal, but I absolutely think the 'success rate' on those marriages is significantly lower.

Meanwhile myself and most of my friends got married fairly young; all by age 25. And all of us did the full marriage ceremony and what not. And all of us are still married, most of us over a decade later (I'm at 20 next summer).

I just think a lot of folks are strangely glib about what SHOULD be the most important decision you'll ever make in your life.

Then again, I'll spend months researching breeders before I'll so much as buy a dog. So there's probably an acceptable middle ground to be found.

But man, if it's that important, treat it as such.

I agree mostly. And I used to be this dude. I used to be this dude HARD.

Wife is catholic so I didn’t have much of a choice in the wedding stuff. However, I was in a fraternity in college and it was apparent in the membership who took it seriously and who did not. Accordingly, I’d dress up for meetings and I was really big on whatever you’re doing, pay it the respect it deserves. I pretty much lived it. Studies, relationship, all of it.

I came back to the farm and am dirty all the time, so that perspective has shifted a bit.

I think as young people, doing the ritual things forces you to put the requisite attention on the important things in life. I think as you mature and develop your identity those ritualistic things that may have been a crutch before are needed less.

At least that’s how I view it.

My wife and I are rarely ritualistic with our relationship these days, we don’t make a big deal about anniversaries or birthdays or whatever milestones. But we love each other very deeply and I think we have a pretty healthy relationship. I think if we entered our relationship this way while we were young, dumb and immature it would look different.

But that’s us. Maybe we’re just weird.

[Al Bundy]

1000 times better than my piece of shit dad, but not as good as my mom.

[BigRedChief]

Originally Posted by Buehler445

My wife and I are rarely ritualistic with our relationship these days, we don’t make a big deal about anniversaries or birthdays or whatever milestones. But we love each other very deeply and I think we have a pretty healthy relationship. I think if we entered our relationship this way while we were young, dumb and immature it would look different.

But that’s us. Maybe we’re just weird.

I met my wife on Friday the 13th. Got married on Friday the 13th. We hugged each other 13 times this last Friday the 13th 2 days ago.

[Rasputin]

I wasn't a better parent than my parents, but my kids turned out to be better adults than me. I am very proud of them for becoming who they are.