Famous Flatulii

[Bob Dole]

Bob Dole has previously posted about Bob Dole's encounter with Joe Montana in the men's room at Tom Fooleries on the Plaza in KC. Though uneventful, it's been a fairly decent story for quite a few years.

Until today, Bob Dole didn't really think much about the circumstances, but now Bob Dole is concerned that perhaps some sort of strange karma-thing is making itself felt.

Bob Dole was in the men's room across the hall from Bob Dole's office about 10 minutes ago, disposing of the last 2 pots of black coffee. A typical run-of-the-mill everyday occurance that Bob Dole is certain many of the people on here have in common.

Anyway, as with the Joe Montana story, the door opens and Bob Dole turns to look (without coughing, thank you) and Ross Perot strolls in and steps up to the urinal next to Bob Dole.

This makes 2 urinal encounters, and Bob Dole is wondering WTF is up with that?

Besides the connection with the previous encounter, this story is only bettered by the fact that Mr. Perot proceeded to do his best impression of General Colon Bowel barking out orders. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, even the very wealthy are apparently afflicted with flatulence now and again.

Unbelievable.

(And if anyone has any thoughts on why Bob Dole seems to be destined for a life of strange urinal encounters, feel free to jump in and explain...)

[KS Smitty]

Maybe Bob Dole spends too much time in there so he doesn't get the opportunity to meet them in the real world?

[redfan]

I had the honor of urinating next to former Royals star and current 1st base coach, Frank White. Wark Parkway movie theater, a few years back. I'm standing there gettin' some relief, and in walks Frank. He did obey urinal etiquette by leaving an open stall between us. Very professional, and a class guy. He didn't even fart.

I took a leak next to Chuck Grassley this spring...

I made sure to "Pee Big" for the Senator.

~Pretty funny rendition Mr. Dole.

In Times of crisis, you can always count on the toilet humor for a laugh.

[JOhn]

MAO....

Reminds of an "incident" a few years back.

My sister was working at a truck stop in Winston, MO, when the country group Alabama stopped there. During there brief visit a couple of them were using the bathroom, when one of them came out asking for TP. I being the only male there at the "honor" of taking some TP in to the lead singer, who was stranded on the stool.

I did get his autograph, but didn't shake his hand.

[King_Chief_Fan]

How come you did not mention that you stood next to me at the urinal Mr. Dole?

[Rain Man]

Wow, you guys sure urinate near a lot of famous people.

[ChiTown]

Bob, fear not.

I too have had a flatlent, peeing famous person pull up next to me. I was in the old Pittsburgh airport giving back a couple of $6.00 beers that I had borrowed from the bar next to the pisser, when up pulls John Thompson, HC of Georgetown Basketball.

John proceeds to open his business right next to mine (even though there were plenty of open spaces to the right of me - that type of shit bothers me). After the initial lift off of piss, John proceeds a long and sing-songy blast of gas that made me start into a hysterical laugh. If it were anyone else, I would have given it a one chuckle under my breath and left. But, we are talking about a famous BB coach who is 6'10" and probably close to 3 spins on the scale. Folks, I am hear to tell you that it was loud, proud and filthy stinky.

After I gathered myself and stopped peeing on my shoes, we are both washing our hands at the sink (I actually wanted to ask him if he shouldn't maybe hit the stall and give the backside a swipe as well). He leans over and says "Sorry about the gas, I just ate Mexcian in the airport, and it's not hitting me quite right." That, of course, got another rousing chuckle from me. To make matters worse, I couldn't just go back to my gate and giggle like a school girl (which is what I wanted to do), because, you guessed it, JT was on my flight to Chicago. Thank God (on a couple of levels) I wasn't sitting next to him.

Chi
~hadn't thought about that encounter for years

[Baby Lee]

I actually wanted to ask him if he shouldn't maybe hit the stall and give the backside a swipe as well

MFAO. I literally can't see the screen through my tears.

[Ultra Peanut]

Both stories are the funniest things I've read in a while.

[ChiTown]

I'm on a flight from LA to Chicago (1991 or '92). As I am starting to get my ticket I notice a crowd of people gathering around a woman that was sitting in the boarding area. Curious, I asked a gentleman standing in back of me, if he knew who it was. He told me (and forgive me that I can't remember her real name) that it was Elli Mae Clampett from the Beverly Hillbillies. My initial reaction was that, "holy shit, she's fat, ugly and old." I can't believe I used to get a little reaction from Mr. Happy watching her prance around the 'cement pond' in her bathing suit.

To make a long story short, she and I were both sitting in 1st class. Shortly after take off, I got up to take a wizz. As is standard protocol, and I don't know why, I always take off my glasses when I hit the head (just quirky, I guess). At any rate, I leave the bathroom and there's Elli Mae waiting to get in after me. I smiled, half wanting to cry over her debilitating features, and gave way to the bathroom entrance.

I get back to my seat, pull out a magazine, and realize that I can't see the print. I left my freaking goggles in the John. Pissed off, and slightly embarrassed, I meandered back to the ****ter to take back that which was rightfully mine (the glasses, not my piss ). After waiting an uncomftable amount of time, and staving off a few stares from people that knew that I had already utilized one of my 2 allotted potty usages on the plane - out waddled Elli.

From the moment she opened the door, an aroma swept through the cabin that drew stares at one another and specifically at Miss Elli. I peered over my shoulder as she scampered to her seat, obviously embarrassed over the blatant foulness that penetrated thru 1st class and beyond. The other 1st class passengers looked at me with amazement as in "are you really going back into the Sewage Canal?" The flight attendant did an obvious duck into the cockpit for what I must believe was an attempt to garner some fresh air. I could feel little beads of sweat forming at the top of my brow. The question was, could I get by without my glasses? For a moment, I was more than willing to scrap the old specs and get a new pair at the nearest optical eyeware store in Chicago. However, seeing how it was a plus 3 hr flight and I had work to do, I threw my self into the Lion's Den of Stink.

I quietly took a deep breath, prayed for focus and opened the door. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see other passengers ducking their heads and holding their noses. After less than 15 seconds in the DMV, I came out, and could see a sense of admiration from my other passenger mates in 1st class, as though I had earned their badge of honor. Elli, on the other hand was, at a minimum, six different shades of red over the incredible results of her bowel movement.

I shall never look at Hollywood Stars the same way again.

[redfan]

I wouldn't want to be the Georgetown towel boy...

[Joe Seahawk]

This thread should be re-named to either "Famous flatulences" or "celebrity colon blows"

[Brock]

Chitown, that was hi-larious.

[Baby Lee]

Famous flatulences

I beleive that is 'famous flatuli.'

[Joe Seahawk]

I thionk you are right sir...