I am learning empathy for the homeless

[Hydrae]

I don't even know how to start. Right now, it looks like my wife and I may be homeless next month. I was laid off from my job after 9 and a half years because the company decided to change the structure of their gold standard support team. That was a wonderful Monday morning last October. At least the one other time I was laid off it was because they moved their support team to India. That was at least kind of understandable. They also gave me a month's severance pay for each year I had worked for them (6 years). This time I got 2 months of severance for my 9.5 years of service. Given my previous experience, that felt like an additional slap to the face.

In an attempt to keep our house, we have left it and leased it out to 2 of my children, a nephew, and a close friend of one of my sons. This is not a good time to try to sell and we were to the point where we weren't sure we could pay the mortgage. They are covering the mortgage plus about $1000. So technically we have some income and even own a house. That "income" is great, but it doesn't go very far and is far from covering the rent on the apartment we have rented. And without an income we can't even tap into the ~$250,000 of equity (monetary term, not social bullshit!). I suppose we could put it on the market but that would screw over the young people there now and I don't want to pass my trouble to the next generation.

I have worked in tech support for the entirety of this century and that is only 4 jobs. I have never been a job hopper obviously. Since I was laid off last October, I have sent out hundreds of resumes. In that time, I have gotten less than 20 initial interviews and maybe 6 actual interviews. I even made it through the entire process a couple of times but obviously nothing has panned out. I will be 64 in a couple of weeks, and I have to wonder if part of the issue has been a form of ageism. At this point in my life, I am not excited to grow in a career. I just want to do awesome work, go home, and retire in a few years. Corporate America wants people who are looking to advance and better themselves. Of course, in a year or two that new hire will move on to the next opportunity while I would still be there consistent as always (as seen by 4 jobs in over 20 years).

So we made the fateful decision to follow our dream. We had plans to move back "home" to Oregon this past spring. Losing my job put the kibosh on that. Well, in our attempt to keep the house until the Fed lowers interest rates and the housing market to heat back up a little, we have moved to Oregon. I have been working remote since before the pandemic so I should be able to work from anywhere. Of course, after the last 10 months finances are thin to be kind, so it was a bit of a leap of faith. We are here now on the Oregon coast, my wife has a part time job that she loves but doesn't pay much, and I am trying to find ANYTHING at this point. I thought I was going to get a retail job making a whopping $16.75 an hour (I was making $84k a year before the layoff) but got screwed up regarding the drug test and lost that opportunity. Sorry, I do not follow blind links in a text. They could have at least put a note in the text about what the link was for. Well, that was the order for me to go piss in a cup and it expired in 48 hours. I was under the impression that I was going to get an email and was waiting for them to finish a background check. This is considered the same as a failure, so I am out with no recourse. I do feel bad for the manager as she was desperate for someone and will likely have to cancel her vacation in a few weeks.

I know a lot of this is just rambling, but it is how messed up my head is right now. I can't sleep for more than an hour at a time. It is 3 AM as I type this. I have never had an issue with getting a job in my life and have never been out of work for more than a few weeks. Right now, not only do I not see a light at the end of the tunnel, there isn't even a sign of a train. It is just black, and I am stumbling along with no idea where I may be heading. This does lead me to saying thank you to Detox. I noted his signature line a couple days ago and sent him a rep because it buoyed me up. He responded with a wonderfully supportive note which, given my current emotional and mental state, made me cry. That was also the day before I learned that I had screwed up the potential job I had on the line.

So, as the thread title states, I better understand how some of the homeless came to be that way through no fault of their own. I can tell you, the depression and desperation that I am going through does just functioning on a daily basis very hard.

Sorry to dump on everyone's day. I had to try to get some of this crap out of my head. No replies necessary, I just thank Kyle for creating this wonderful community where I can vent. Now I am going to go cry again and maybe, hopefully, get some more sleep.

[Dallas Chief]

Just getting caught up on this. Sorry to hear about your struggles. Been to the bottom and back several times myself. Sounds like you have quite a bit of customer service experience and are used to talking to random strangers on the phone. Don’t discount that skill brother. I did a couple years recruiting for an inbound Medicare sales agency and during the enrollment season, which is coming up, we had reps making $3k-$6k per week. And these folks weren’t the sharpest knives in the drawer. You may want to look at what it takes to get your license in OR, it’s usually anywhere from 20-30 hours worth of coursework online. Could be a nice seasonal bump for you if you think you can stomach reading a script over and over again. It’s a fast growing customer base as the Boomers head off into retirement. Best of luck!

https://dfr.oregon.gov/business/lice...licensing.aspx

[JohnnyHammersticks]

Originally Posted by Hydrae

In many ways you are right. I have never been great with money and it is showing. I did get all of $500 a week from unemployment for the time it was available. It helped get through but it certainly was not enough to pay the amount of bills I have by now. That has expired and is no longer available.

At no point in my life since I was 16 have I been out of work for more than a few weeks. I fully expected that to be the same so I lived like normal at first while getting severance. Then reality smacked me in the face but I kept believing it would be okay.

FYI, given how long this has carried on, I don't know why you think this is the first place I turned too. Also, in case you did not notice, I specifically stated that no replies were needed. I just needed to get things out of my head and I knew it would be acceptable here. As others have stated, this is an amazingly supportive community (for the most part). At no point did I ask for assistance, this was really simply for my mental health.

I don't know if it is because it helped clear my head or I just "screamed" loud enough for God to notice but there are a few things that broke free for me yesterday after that post. I know part of it was simply the outpouring of positivity that most everyone injected which helped me get a little confidence back.

I pray that you never have anything that pushes you down as far as I was, it is hard to get out of. But, if you ever are in need, I am more than willing to support you and anyone, from the young people I have helped in the past to the guy who's broken down car I just pushed off the road so everyone else who are going around don't have to wait so long.

I bet God did notice. Maybe He led you here for your own therapy, and also to show other Planeteers who might not be as willing to share what's going on in their lives that there are others going through the same things they are. Your post might inspire them to stay positive and not give up hope.

There are millions going through similar situations. I sling mortgages for a living and more than 95% of my business is coming from people doing cash out refinances to pay down credit card debt. This country is absolutely drowning in credit card debt right now. And from people who work hard, make good money, and still can't keep their heads above water. I've been in this business off-and-on for the last 22 years and I've never seen anything even remotely as bad as things are right now. It's totally unsustainable for a nation. So you are not alone by a long, long, long shot.

You'll pull through this, learn great lessons, and pass them along to others in your life. Just keep grinding, and good luck to you.

[RealSNR]

Sounds like things are starting to look up for you, Hydrae, but I'll continue to keep the positive thoughts coming your way.

Also, if Otter ever becomes unemployed, I ain't gonna exactly be selective with my words.

[BigRedChief]

Originally Posted by scho63

Yeah, because when your 62 and you can't land a good job and pay your bills and telling everyone you are on the verge of homelessness, CP is the first place everyone should turn to.

Being judgmental of someone you have never met is not a good look. Take a break and come back and apologize.