I am learning empathy for the homeless

[Hydrae]

I don't even know how to start. Right now, it looks like my wife and I may be homeless next month. I was laid off from my job after 9 and a half years because the company decided to change the structure of their gold standard support team. That was a wonderful Monday morning last October. At least the one other time I was laid off it was because they moved their support team to India. That was at least kind of understandable. They also gave me a month's severance pay for each year I had worked for them (6 years). This time I got 2 months of severance for my 9.5 years of service. Given my previous experience, that felt like an additional slap to the face.

In an attempt to keep our house, we have left it and leased it out to 2 of my children, a nephew, and a close friend of one of my sons. This is not a good time to try to sell and we were to the point where we weren't sure we could pay the mortgage. They are covering the mortgage plus about $1000. So technically we have some income and even own a house. That "income" is great, but it doesn't go very far and is far from covering the rent on the apartment we have rented. And without an income we can't even tap into the ~$250,000 of equity (monetary term, not social bullshit!). I suppose we could put it on the market but that would screw over the young people there now and I don't want to pass my trouble to the next generation.

I have worked in tech support for the entirety of this century and that is only 4 jobs. I have never been a job hopper obviously. Since I was laid off last October, I have sent out hundreds of resumes. In that time, I have gotten less than 20 initial interviews and maybe 6 actual interviews. I even made it through the entire process a couple of times but obviously nothing has panned out. I will be 64 in a couple of weeks, and I have to wonder if part of the issue has been a form of ageism. At this point in my life, I am not excited to grow in a career. I just want to do awesome work, go home, and retire in a few years. Corporate America wants people who are looking to advance and better themselves. Of course, in a year or two that new hire will move on to the next opportunity while I would still be there consistent as always (as seen by 4 jobs in over 20 years).

So we made the fateful decision to follow our dream. We had plans to move back "home" to Oregon this past spring. Losing my job put the kibosh on that. Well, in our attempt to keep the house until the Fed lowers interest rates and the housing market to heat back up a little, we have moved to Oregon. I have been working remote since before the pandemic so I should be able to work from anywhere. Of course, after the last 10 months finances are thin to be kind, so it was a bit of a leap of faith. We are here now on the Oregon coast, my wife has a part time job that she loves but doesn't pay much, and I am trying to find ANYTHING at this point. I thought I was going to get a retail job making a whopping $16.75 an hour (I was making $84k a year before the layoff) but got screwed up regarding the drug test and lost that opportunity. Sorry, I do not follow blind links in a text. They could have at least put a note in the text about what the link was for. Well, that was the order for me to go piss in a cup and it expired in 48 hours. I was under the impression that I was going to get an email and was waiting for them to finish a background check. This is considered the same as a failure, so I am out with no recourse. I do feel bad for the manager as she was desperate for someone and will likely have to cancel her vacation in a few weeks.

I know a lot of this is just rambling, but it is how messed up my head is right now. I can't sleep for more than an hour at a time. It is 3 AM as I type this. I have never had an issue with getting a job in my life and have never been out of work for more than a few weeks. Right now, not only do I not see a light at the end of the tunnel, there isn't even a sign of a train. It is just black, and I am stumbling along with no idea where I may be heading. This does lead me to saying thank you to Detox. I noted his signature line a couple days ago and sent him a rep because it buoyed me up. He responded with a wonderfully supportive note which, given my current emotional and mental state, made me cry. That was also the day before I learned that I had screwed up the potential job I had on the line.

So, as the thread title states, I better understand how some of the homeless came to be that way through no fault of their own. I can tell you, the depression and desperation that I am going through does just functioning on a daily basis very hard.

Sorry to dump on everyone's day. I had to try to get some of this crap out of my head. No replies necessary, I just thank Kyle for creating this wonderful community where I can vent. Now I am going to go cry again and maybe, hopefully, get some more sleep.

[Sassy Squatch]

Originally Posted by ChiTown

Hey, let's get back to focusing on Hydrae. We don't want to f up his thread by DC'ing it with politics.

Agreed. Going to scrub my contributions to getting off topic

[Mosbonian]

Originally Posted by BWillie

Its tough out there. My GF was laid off and has been looking for jobs for 5 momths maybe 6 now and has gotten...ONE interview. ONE stinking interview.

The big problem now is that companies make the interview process as coldly distant as possible.

The resume review software many companies use to filter thru candidates really doesn't do it's job correctly. The last 3 years I worked with the Talent Acquisition team to look for candidates I would make them send me the resumes of what they had as "second tier" matches....I found that most of the people I was hiring came from that group.

[ToxSocks]

Damn, that's tough, Hydrae. Feels like that's the inevitable fate for a lot of us.

I have a few suggestions if you'd like to hear it. I know sometimes in these situations people just want love and sympathy, not necessarily advice. A lot of times we know what to do, we just need the emotional support to get it done. It can be hard to get things done when you're so stressed out and down. It can be difficult to get out of your own way when everything just feels like it will never go right.

Life is a bitch, man. And the older i get the more i realize that it never lets up. It's constant. If it's not one thing it's another. And to work for as long as you have only to end up in this situation anyway...god i can only imagine the frustration, the depression, the anxiety....the anger....

[Balto]

Sorry to hear this man.

Like others have said....Social Security could be your answer. OR if you still have money in a retirement account like a 401k/403b/IRA/Roth IRA your old enough to start drawing on those. Age is 59.5 to avoid an extra 10% tax penalty to uncle Sam.

You said your wife really enjoys her part time job? Anyway you could get a job at the same place with her?

Resume is great and all but who do you know? Working for so long you must have build some friendships along the way. It's time, sit down and call them all up! It's who you know and one of those people could now be a manager somewhere.....OR know of one looking for someone.

The trailer in the yard is an idea but if it was me I'd travel from a couple different State/County RV parks and volunteer. Most allow volunteers to hook up and stay for free. You would do things like sit at the check in center or after a person leave that site go make sure its ready for the next person.

With your experience you could always try substitute teacher at a school/community college.

I would really apply for SS like yesterday. You can still make a small income while drawing SS benefits and not screw anything up.

[Sassy Squatch]

Yeah, you'd probably be best off drawing your Social Security early while making every attempt possible to get out from under your current lease.

If it's any consolation, you aren't in a position to be destitute and penniless. Currently in a position where you own a house and are renting it for more than your mortgage.

If you've already accepted you may not find a job in your field and are looking elsewhere, drawing SS and working part time makes even more sense.

[Rain Man]

I'm sorry to hear your troubles, hydrae. You're one of the good guys. Best of luck to you in getting through to the other side.

[Imon Yourside]

Loyalty used to be rewarded, now it is hated. I will pray for you buddy. I give a homeless lady that lives near me food and a little money once in a while. She had a good tech job as well, then her husband died and it all fell apart. She lives in her car now and has no hope, we have a serious problem in this country with this kind of thing.

[|Zach|]

Appreciate you sharing a difficult subject. Good luck to you.

[BIG_DADDY]

The last few years have just been devastating to so many people, you see it all the time. Sorry to hear about your situation.
Wow, Newport Oregon. How long have you been there? Interesting place for an IT guy. We used to do a lot of our family reunions there for years.
Being in IT why don't you just open an LLC and market yourself? Way back I realized I was making way too much money for other people. My old IT guy moved to Spain and was always independent. When I checked on him 6 months later he had more business than he could get to. I'll tell you one thing, I will never work for anyone again for a lot of reasons.

[Otter]

When you reward the invasion of your home learn to reap what you sow.

[Spott]

Originally Posted by Womble

Do you Americans not have pensions?

I have one, but it’s only because I’ve been with the same company for 30 years. But it’s not nearly as good as my 401K, and you only get a few percent each year. It would be nice if they would just let you invest it yourself. Anyone hired at my employer in the last 15 years either has a significant reduction in pension or none at all. Big corporations don’t want employees to stay around for more than a few years anymore.

[|Zach|]

Originally Posted by Otter

When you reward the invasion of your home learn to reap what you sow.

Otter can't help himself.

[Sassy Squatch]

Originally Posted by Otter

When you reward the invasion of your home learn to reap what you sow.

Why

[Hydrae]

Thank you to everyone who has responded. I appreciate the thoughts and advice. I am not surprised at the temporary turn the thread took. This is CP after all!

In answer to some of the questions:

1. The 401k is dead at this point. That resource has sadly been used up.

2. I have always thought I would work until I was 70 to maximize my Social Security benefits. I did give in to reality a couple days ago and applied. If nothing else, the benefit is weighted to the last 5 years of employment and it appears likely that I will be earning significantly less the next few years. So yes, I am legally retired I suppose.

3. Why Oregon and now? I have worked remote tech support for several years and if I were to get a similar position my location would not really matter. If I need to have an onsite job, I would prefer it to be in our dream location where we were planning to be anyway. We are both from here and this is a returning home finally. Yes, I jumped off a cliff and the fall has been scary. Now it looks like the ground is coming fast and it scares the piss out of me.

On a more positive note, it looks like I will have an interview at Fred Meyer (think regional Walmart) this afternoon. I will ensure there are no communication failures this time even if it means I have to go to the store every hour.

[Hydrae]

Originally Posted by Otter

When you reward the invasion of your home learn to reap what you sow.

My kids invaded my home? More like I did them a favor and would do anything for my children. Not just mine either. Over the years we have welcomed a number of young people into our home. Usually, case where they were kicked out at 18 by their parents with nowhere to go. There are many young adults in our town that call my wife Mom. And yes, they would be happy to help but they have their own lives and families and struggles.