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07-30-2020, 03:21 PM | #11 | |
Sauntering Vaguely Downwards
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Columbia, Mo
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Quote:
Heard a quote once that was essentially "The problem is that people get everything they were after and suddenly realize that their dreams were too small..." And that one hit hard. Professionally I spent 10 years pursuing a role I got. Now I have it and I'm boooooored. And stuck - ain't anyplace else to go here. But I damn sure don't want to start over either because it's probably just gonna be a repeat of the same cycle. 30 didn't bother me because I was on track; was ticking all the boxes and growing and developing and moving forward. 40's gonna bring me to my knees. Why? Because I feel like the last 5 years have just been spinning my wheels. And with COVID and shit it's been doubly bad because it's hard to fend off fatalism. How hard I work/don't work is irrelevant if X or Y passes or if the country continues to tailspin. I don't know what to tell you, man. I try to contextualize it as best I can (look; my life's pretty damn good and this is truly just finding things to bitch about), but I think it happens no matter how successful/unsuccessful some people are. Some people prefer the hunt to the spoils. And they're just perpetually restless souls. I'm reading Grant right now and man, that's Grant through and through - guy was miserable when he was content. He drank because of successes as often as failures. I think Tomahawk has the right of it - you've gotta just find something else to chase and force yourself to chase it. A skill/hobby seems like a start. Maybe just start forcing yourself into activity when you're doing otherwise sedentary activities (only watch TV or play video games when you're on a treadmill, for instance). I think it's pretty common. |
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