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Old 05-19-2014, 11:46 AM  
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is online now
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I'm on a mission to shit
Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
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Old 05-19-2014, 07:26 PM   #226
mdchiefsfan mdchiefsfan is offline
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I'm the boy who cried shite
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Old 05-19-2014, 08:03 PM   #227
Davechief Davechief is offline
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I had the ol colonoscopy procedure done last year. Maybe you could get your doc to prescribe you some of the stuff they use for the prep. I swear I shit out stuff from the 70's after downing that.
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Old 05-19-2014, 08:13 PM   #228
ThaVirus ThaVirus is offline
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Speaking of shit, my stool's been green for about the past 5 days or so. I haven't changed my diet so I'm kind of curious as to what it could be..

Of course WebMD churned up some pretty scary results. I hate that website.
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Old 05-19-2014, 08:14 PM   #229
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Originally Posted by ThaVirus View Post
Speaking of shit, my stool's been green for about the past 5 days or so. I haven't changed my diet so I'm kind of curious as to what it could be..

Of course WebMD churned up some pretty scary results. I hate that website.
Grape soda?
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Old 05-19-2014, 08:22 PM   #230
bevischief bevischief is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThaVirus View Post
Speaking of shit, my stool's been green for about the past 5 days or so. I haven't changed my diet so I'm kind of curious as to what it could be..

Of course WebMD churned up some pretty scary results. I hate that website.
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Old 05-19-2014, 08:23 PM   #231
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThaVirus View Post
Speaking of shit, my stool's been green for about the past 5 days or so. I haven't changed my diet so I'm kind of curious as to what it could be..

Of course WebMD churned up some pretty scary results. I hate that website.
Green? Layoff off the late night anti-freeze shooters.....
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Old 05-19-2014, 08:23 PM   #232
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is online now
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Originally Posted by ThaVirus View Post
Speaking of shit, my stool's been green for about the past 5 days or so.
Spinach FTW!
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Old 05-19-2014, 08:24 PM   #233
RaiderH8r RaiderH8r is offline
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All I ask is that he post weight before and after the deposit. It's a great past time I have with my bro at thanksgiving. We weigh in before we eat, after we eat, and after we shit.

Men. We are awesome.
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Old 05-19-2014, 08:37 PM   #234
ThaVirus ThaVirus is offline
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Spinach FTW!

Nope, my diet is far from high in leafy greens.

Google says I either have Crohn's or my shit is just passing through my intestines too quickly.
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Old 05-19-2014, 08:47 PM   #235
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Nope, my diet is far from high in leafy greens.

Google says I either have Crohn's or my shit is just passing through my intestines too quickly.
I don't remember my wife who has Crohn's for over 20 years she has never said anything about it being green.
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Old 05-19-2014, 09:27 PM   #236
Rams Fan Rams Fan is offline
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Has Clay shit yet?


Nope.
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Old 05-19-2014, 09:49 PM   #237
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Old 05-19-2014, 10:08 PM   #238
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is online now
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Old 05-19-2014, 10:10 PM   #239
RaiderH8r RaiderH8r is offline
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Not gonna look. What's the weight differential?
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Old 05-19-2014, 10:11 PM   #240
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is online now
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Not gonna look. What's the weight differential?
I don't have a scale, sorry.

I sure feel better though. Gonna go eat dinner!

PS - I had to chop it up to make sure it flushed.
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