Critters

[seclark]

Spell them however you want, but I do it possums. Nasty looking creatures,but they have their place in nature. I’ve recently learned that they eat ticks, so good for them. I believe in conservation.

Anyway, I’m laying in bed this morning reading, and my wife walks in, pretty wired for that time of day. Normally, she’s getting ready to go downstairs to her office. Instead she’s saying, “Zeke has a giant dead possum on the front porch!”.

Zeke is a 125lb chocolate lab. He’s 3 years old and he runs this patch of timber and a pond. He’s terrible about killing critters and bringing them to the front door. Pain in the ass.

Anyway, I get up and go look out my office window, and there’s old Zeke laying there sleeping in the sun with his head about a foot away from a big, fat, bloody possum. ****!

So, I went out to the garage and found one right handed glove. I opened the garage door, then I opened the tailgate of my truck. As I walked out of the garage, I noticed a trail of blood coming from the woods behind my house,across the carport, then along around the sidewalk in front of the house to the front porch. A bloody trail.

I pulled on the glove and picked up the corpse by the tail. Zeke perked up and followed me back to the truck where I tossed the dead object in the bed. I drove off around a hill to a bridge and chucked it over the edge.

I came home to find my wife outside with a bucket of bleach and a sponge, cleaning up the murder scene. Zeke was sitting next to her, nipping at her ponytail. I asked her if she knew where his mouth had been.

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