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Topic Starter |
I'll be back.
Join Date: Nov 2002
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I'm on a mission to shit
Five days ago I had surgery.
On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before. On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation. On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans. On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia. It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago. I'm on a mission. To shit. Please, God. Let me shit. |
Posts: 284,048
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#2 |
In Search of a Life
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Kansas
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Sounds crappy
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Posts: 22,253
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#3 |
Spiraling down the Drain
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Dante's Ninth Circle
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Prayers sent.
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Posts: 31,853
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#4 |
MVP
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Liberty, MO
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may the shartz be with you
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Posts: 15,810
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#5 |
Don't Tug on Superman's Cape
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: clear out in the sticks
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Gonna have to try a plunger
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Posts: 12,571
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#6 |
NFL's #1 Ermines Fan
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: My house
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You should check to be sure that they didn't accidentally sew your rectum shut.
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Posts: 142,246
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#7 |
Don't Tug on Superman's Cape
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: clear out in the sticks
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Posts: 12,571
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#8 |
Wasted away again...
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: in Margaritaville
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Everyone knows you're full of shit.
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Posts: 51,463
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#9 |
'Tis my eye!
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Chiefsplanet
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First of all, stop eating all that fiber. By ingesting fiber, you're actually forming bulk. Metamucil is actually making the problem worse, especially if you don't ingest that kind of fiber daily. It won't help you go, it will just fill you up.
I wouldn't recommend Senokot or any stimulant laxative as it's going to give you pain and cramping. You're on the right track with Milk of Magnesia but 1) two tablespoons is not enough and 2) you don't need an antacid Grab a bottle of this and drink the WHOLE thing. It is available everywhere that has a 3-aisle basic pharmacy and costs about $1. Wait 30 minutes to an hour. Don't get too far from the bathroom. It's safe and I guarantee you it will work. ![]() |
Posts: 100,022
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#10 |
In Search of a Life
Join Date: Mar 2006
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Taco Bell
It has me shitting in no time. |
Posts: 22,258
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#11 |
I'll be back.
Join Date: Nov 2002
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Posts: 284,048
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#12 | |
Cast Iron Jedi
Join Date: Nov 2004
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Quote:
PREPARE TO LOSE. |
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Posts: 35,253
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#13 | |
Tossed Salad & Scrambled Eggs
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: ATX & OPKS
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Quote:
You know, the scene where the kid spikes the other kids drink with this stuff, then the kid shits blood and dies? |
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Posts: 19,852
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#14 | |
'Tis my eye!
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Chiefsplanet
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Quote:
It's a saline laxative. All it does is draw water into the bowel. If you drank more than the recommended dosage it can cause other issues but perforation of the intestine certainly isn't one of them. |
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Posts: 100,022
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#15 |
Rock Chalk Jayhawks! KU!!!
Join Date: Aug 2005
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Ask your boyfriend for help. Seriously surprised this would be an issue for you.
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Posts: 970
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