Critters

[seclark]

Spell them however you want, but I do it possums. Nasty looking creatures,but they have their place in nature. I’ve recently learned that they eat ticks, so good for them. I believe in conservation.

Anyway, I’m laying in bed this morning reading, and my wife walks in, pretty wired for that time of day. Normally, she’s getting ready to go downstairs to her office. Instead she’s saying, “Zeke has a giant dead possum on the front porch!”.

Zeke is a 125lb chocolate lab. He’s 3 years old and he runs this patch of timber and a pond. He’s terrible about killing critters and bringing them to the front door. Pain in the ass.

Anyway, I get up and go look out my office window, and there’s old Zeke laying there sleeping in the sun with his head about a foot away from a big, fat, bloody possum. ****!

So, I went out to the garage and found one right handed glove. I opened the garage door, then I opened the tailgate of my truck. As I walked out of the garage, I noticed a trail of blood coming from the woods behind my house,across the carport, then along around the sidewalk in front of the house to the front porch. A bloody trail.

I pulled on the glove and picked up the corpse by the tail. Zeke perked up and followed me back to the truck where I tossed the dead object in the bed. I drove off around a hill to a bridge and chucked it over the edge.

I came home to find my wife outside with a bucket of bleach and a sponge, cleaning up the murder scene. Zeke was sitting next to her, nipping at her ponytail. I asked her if she knew where his mouth had been.

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[booger]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Does anyone else think that the security tapes of the Stop and Go will show that it was a hooker and not a possum?

That’s quite possible now that you mention it. Pretty sure Wendy from breaking bad has some opossum in her family tree

https://breakingbad.fandom.com/wiki/Wendy

[Hog Rider]

Originally Posted by Holladay

Why was it in your back seat?

Additionally, moles give me nightmares...literally.

It's a play on the recording of the gentleman on 911 about finding/hitting a deer and thinking it was dead. Throws it in his car it wakes up and bites him on the neck. The call is hilareous(sp). A seach for 'deer and stop and go' may turn it up.

[Hog Rider]

link to a cartoon made up to the call.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzRIsoV9gmE

[seclark]

I remember now.
Good call .
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[HemiEd]

Originally Posted by booger

Dog food prices jumped up with everything else. Crazy. Hip and elbow dysplasia is a common problem with large dog breeds and working or sporting dogs. I didn’t know much about it until I read up on German Shepherd years ago and they talked about negative hips meaning if you could get a pup from a line of dogs that didn’t have the history of the dysplasia you will be much better off because it’s hereditary. But yeah I think the hunting dogs and working dogs that’s what sucks is the wear and tear on their joints even if it’s just arthritis. Then the really small dogs have heart murmur and that’s common with chihuahuas in my experience. My mom had a tiny little shit toy or teacup chihuahua. Hilarious and not super annoying and yappy like little dogs can be. He developed a heart murmur issue and I got my mom some fish oil capsules and she would give him those. They get hiccups when the heart is having its problems. But she talked to the vet and he gave some medication to go with and said he isn’t suffering so just enjoy him and give him the fish oil if you like. So I looked into when I got my new pup and found several omega three supplements either liquid or chewable.

That’s a nightmare the cost of surgery for them but if folks have it and obviously love their pets they will pay it. Sounds like that dog if he needs a second surgery he will be retired or semiretired from his hunting days. Or put on oppossom duty!

About 25 years ago I decided to switch to "pocket dogs" as their turds are so tiny instead of being big piles of shit. We chose Yorkies and they are just incredible dogs, hearts just as big as a large dog. Now we had two live out their lives, 17 and 15, so devastating to lose them.

Never had a chihuahua but they are certainly well known for their small size and large personalities.

[Holladay]

It's a play on the recording of the gentleman on 911 about finding/hitting a deer and thinking it was dead. Throws it in his car it wakes up and bites him on the neck. The call is hilareous(sp). A seach for 'deer and stop and go' may turn it up.

Figured there was some back story.

[Holladay]

Is that 911 call legit? Or something like this....Not sure if this clip is true. It is quite dated.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTrOb8zyrZk

[BigRedChief]

Originally Posted by HemiEd

Never had a chihuahua but they are certainly well known for their small size and large personalities.

we have had a chihuahua for about 13 years. They live a long time, 20 years or so. They definitely have the personality, good and bad as part of the breed.

[notorious]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Does anyone else think that the security tapes of the Stop and Go will show that it was a hooker and not a possum?

The proper term is "Lot Lizard", Rain.

[ghak99]

How many ticks do they actually eat, not the advertised bullshit figures, I mean actually eat? How many turkey nests do they destroy in their lifetime? How many ticks does an average turkey hatch eat in their lifetime?

Do the math and start shooting the nasty bastards.

[oldman]

Those overgrown rats are thick this year. I don't mind them in the woods 50 yards behind the house, but once they cross the path down to the lower 40, they're fair game to blast.

[Pablo]

Went catfishing last night up at Smithville Lake.

Left out about 1:30 or so and the possums and coons were all over the damn place. One fat bastard coon thought he was quick enough. He got doubled up by my friend's very large SUV. Front drivers side tire kicked him under another tire and it sounded ****ing brutal. A distinct crushed to death instantly sound.