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"Life is all about chances," she begins, "and the Commanders are all about taking chances. That's how we ended up with Sammy Baugh the last time we were relevant. That's how we ended up with a Super Bowl championship team where our kicker was the League MVP.
"And of course you take a chance when you become a Commanders cheerleader, hoping that you don't end up being sold to an Arab prince and shipped to Qatar in a packing crate.
"With this philosophy in mind, we examined our options, and looked at the successful teams in the league that are located within 50 miles of us, because we need to save travel costs due to all of the lawsuits. As a result, we focused on the most successful team within 50 miles, the Baltimore Ravens, and how their mobile quarterback is the key to winning in the regular season.
"Is his style a dud in the postseason? Of course. But here at the Commanders, we're taking things one step at a time and winning in the regular season is a big first step. As a result...
"The Washington Commanders select Jayden Daniels, QB, LSU."
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