[Bob Dole]

It is with some sadness and a smidgen of emotion that Bob Dole posts this thread, but after hours of internal conflict and a soul-searching tug-of-war, Bob Dole feels the time has come.

It's unusual that one finds himself attached in this way--it's not typical behavior. Sure, we find ourselves in relationships frequently, but this one was unique.

It felt so good at first. It was a relief, actually. Just to let it out and not worry about what anyone else thought. Just to be Bob Dole's self. An outlet for everything pent up inside.

Then it began to stink. And the longer it went on, the more overwhelming the stench. Then others started to notice, but nobody commented. They were kind and considerate and kept their thoughts to themselves at first, but eventually the truth had to be told. Action had to be taken.

It's been effecting everyone in the house today, so Bob Dole made the decision and thought it fitting to share.

Bob Dole named it Curly before he left. The longest cable Bob Dole has ever laid. He put up a fight as he swirled and swirled toward his final resting place, but eventually he broke apart and surrendered. He was Bob Dole's favorite turd and he will be missed.