Just a quick one to keep this thread currant...Hope you get a laugh out of it, even at my expense.
............If you've read any of the previous stories,you've already figured out that for the most part truckers are a "breed of their own". And in the years I've been in the industry, one thing i've learned is true! While your at "Insert name here" truck stop in "insert name of town/state here" you can always cheer up an otherwise rotten day by sitting "near" the coffee counter and listening to the incredible (read that ...impossible, mind numming and I just ain't buying this sh*t) stories they have to tell on another. And trust me, the coffee counter stories are always the best *ones*?!?.
Now the coffee counter is a world of its own. There are some prerequisists for being able (read that allowed) to sit there. Now I'm not talking about the big sign hanging that says "Professional Drivers Only". No gentle readers this goes much further. First and foremost you must have the ten gallon hat--two sizes too large, the chain drive wallet, the quick draw pencil holder (the leather pouch with two holes for hanging pens..or pencils...much like a pocket protecter the geek in school used to wear, only not in your shirt)..hanging from your belt, the stearing wheel belt buckle holding together said belt, which holds up said quick draw pencil holder, hanging beside the belt clip holding 400 keys and 18 feathers that hangs to their knees of which 300 they have NO idea what they are used for.
Now cap this off with the hundred dollar "Tony Lamas" which 9 times out of 10 are $30 K-mart specials...(just dont' ever say that to their face)..which are wrapped with the steal bumpers in the front and the spurs on the back....jingle jangling as they walk. Pretty picture ...ain't it folks. Now wrap a leather vest around him, hang a winston ever so precariously from his bottom lip, 4 days growth stubble on face and eyeballs that look like two pi$$ holes in the snow.
Now if you can accomplish all of this and still walk like you just got kicked in the nutts but not have the "Oh My God This Hurts" look on your face, you too can sit at the coffee counter. But I might add...you also have to be able to talk normally yet be the loudest idiot in the whole restaurant.
PS....I don't sit at the coffee counter,just close enough to laugh!
