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I'm actually going to suggest something that I haven't seen mentioned.
Forgive her
I'm not saying that you guys don't need some counseling, and serious relationship repair, but I know of many couples where the adultery didn't result in divorce. I know that it takes two to tango, but If you really do love her, and your children, then stay and deal with it. Forgiveness isn't about her...it's about you.
And honestly, take a few minutes and think about how powerful the testimony will be on the other side of this. To your future children. To your family. To your friends.
If God forgives us, we can forgive each other.
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