Thread: 101 random roasts by misc Roastmasters - Thread #2
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Old 06-29-2013, 03:50 PM   #807
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is online now
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Quote:
Originally Posted by Donger View Post
You made a roast? Where?
Enjoy, old chap.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Smith HATER View Post
70. Sweet Daddy Hate/Raised On Riots/Darth CarlSatan

It seems like everyone hates this douche but me, so I am well qualified to roast his ass up. Darth CarlSatan (I enjoy his original, unabashedly stupid, yet silly username the most) is often the butt of drug-related jokes, which is great because clearly he's smoking something to register on a forum where he's largely despised for a third time after being banned for reasons I've completely forgotten.

Used to be fat, like Frazod, but apparently got all lean and ripped up. Not clear whether it was completely due to illegal stimulants or some combination of those and the backbreaking manual labor that he was forced into since ex-cons usually can't get anything else. Rumor has it he's a roofer or something. Hootie tried to PM him to get some roofies upon learning this, only to discover roofing has nothing to do with selling date-rape drugs. DarthCarl hooked him up anyway, bringing his CP friend total to two.

Note: not sure if he actually IS an ex-con, but it fits with the whole "bad boy" persona he has attempted to cultivate since joining. Almost assuredly, he has posted from jail at least once.

Also claims to have wild sexual trysts from time to time in random dating threads. Unsure if he's been pleasing 190-pound soccer moms who invite him in for "a cool drink" when he comes down off the roofs he's thatching together, or if it's just luv and they're keeping it a dark, dirty CP secret. Hey, he had to do SOMETHING to bring his CP friend total to three.

Pros: ****ing hated Matt Cassel before it was cool to do so. Despite being in the top 10 most douchiest posters, has actually shown up to a pair of CP bashes. Wore a Brandon Flowers jersey that said "BMF" on the back. Oh wait, I think that part belongs in...

Cons: Yes, he was one. Is basically hated by everyone, save other douches, except Dane McCloud, who is No. 1 on Sweet Daddy Hate's "people to kill" list. I am now No. 2.
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