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It was a quiet night. At least for a while until I was awoken to the sound of my doorbell being rung. It being 3 in the morning and not the greatest neighborhood prompted me to take caution when answering the door. I went down the steps and looked out the window yet saw nothing. "Odd", I thought to myself. So I went back upstairs to hopefully get a better view of the surrounding area.
Well I got a view alright. Out in the middle of the parking lot which lays directly in front of my building was a large, hooded figure. It took a bit of inspection but I ultimately realized the figure had on no pants. For a split second I thought he may have been shaking dice but it became quite clear that he was in fact yanking his shit. The entire time he's stroking himself he's running/hopping up and down the sidewalk of the building on the opposite side of the lot.
He wasn't really going anywhere so I called the cops. When the car pulled up the yanker was long gone but I was greeted a sigh of "not this ****ing guy again" by the officer. Apparently "The Hood" has a habit of going around the back of the apartment buildings, knocking on downstairs windows and yanking his shit for whoever decides to look outside.
The officer told me that if it happened again I should try to keep him in my sight while I notify the authorities.
Yeah... great idea. I'll chase down a big half naked masturbator in the middle of the night. Maybe I'll put on some rollerskates to keep up.
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