Update:
It's all good with the Mrs.
I had a chance to CALMLY talk with her as to what happened. She actually just listened vs trying to assume a bunch of shit. Apparently, this week, one of the teachers she works with just found out her husband was cheating on her (not with my ex-hairdresser, heh). Obviously, my office encounter fed right in to her cheating husband story she had heard early in the week. BTW, the speed dial to the Lawyer was just a joke on my part. It seemed apropos, at the time, given the absolute abortion of a situation I was in. Sorry for the confusion.
What a bizarre week.........