Quote:
Originally Posted by listopencil
. Why did they use Phoebe What's-her-face? She's kind of homely with a goofy looking body.
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1. Well, Indy's heir can't be a son, or any guy fo rthat matter, because we need to show that women can be action heroes, too.
2. She can't be a hot woman, because then you'd be pandering to the patriarchy.
3. The goofy-looking body helps validate every woman who doesn't fit the impossible beauty standards that have ruined so many lives.
4. Though, Phoebe-Waller Bridge is really too thin. What we needed was Lizzo flying through the air and twirling through stunts to demonstrate her true beauty!
Conclusion: Dial of Destiny failed because it simply didn't give the public what it truly wanted. Pay me a mere $50 million a year, and I'll fix it with a $400 million dollar action movie starring Lizzo that will revitalize the James Bond franchise.
P.S. Disney WILL need to acquire EON productions, which I expect them to do post haste following my gender confirmation surgery (after which I will be PERFECT to lead Disney to success in the 21st Century).