Quote:
Originally Posted by stumppy
Ouch, that sucks. I feel your pain. I've had custody of three of my grandkids for the last 1 1/2 years. They finally moved back in with their mom about 2 months ago. You step D sounds exactly like my 12 yr old grand D. Same shitty attitude, same problems with her tablet, and the rest of what you described. I had her in therapy too.
The therapy seemed to help a little but what worked best for me.....I was a brick wall when it came to her behavior. Don't be disrespectful, don't argue, do what you're told and so on. When she stepped over the line even by just a hair I came down hard. Homework not done, shitty grades, be disrespectful, etc. she would be grounded to her room, sometimes to her bed, lose her electronics, along with many other things. It was exhausting because I wouldn't let her pull that shit at all The second she did...BOOM, down came the hammer. After a few months she came around. I still had problems with her but it wasn't much more than I expected from a girl her age.
That's how I dealt with all of it anyways.
The shitty thing about all of it....., two months after she moved back home with her mother....she's gone back to acting like she did before.
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I tried the come down hard thing......it doesn't work with her. Because she's ODD she will basically respond by going "I will make your life a living hell if you do this"
I took her phone, it resulted in her following my wife around the house demanding it back. To which I said, she doesn't have your phone and acting like an ass isn't going to get it back now is it? And she literally won't listen she just follows you around seeing give me my phone, not responding to anything. It escalated into me telling her to go to her room her not listening to me, me telling her she had 5 seconds to do what I said or I would do it for her...
So after the next 5 minutes that resulted in a 16 year old girl having a temper tantrum and trying to claw my walls to avoid being put in her room, trying to claw me..which resulted in her being put in a full nelson, then when it's all done.........she cries and says I hurt her.
It's all a bullshit game, all of it. A lot of it is why I feel I have no answer.