My god.
I called in this morning because I hadn't heard anything in email or otherwise about my $300 gift card. Initial CSR could only find $100 pending, and since I told them without the $300 offered I wasn't interested in continuing service, he said he needed to send me to the retention department.
After a half hour of her talking to me and the rewards center, they finally got it squared away, and I should be getting my $300 by the end of the month.
AND THEN, she said because of the misinformation I'd been given and the hassle, she could offer me another $50 off per month for a year, taking my total bill down to $16.
With that $300 gift card, AT&T is paying me to be a Directv customer.