[notorious]

This is the part where trot out one of my favorite stats, which is that the Chiefs have not won a game with a QB they drafted in three decades. Holy, holy shit. But that may finally change this season, because the Chiefs—God help me—drafted a QB in the first round for the first time since 1983. They finally went and did it. Say hello to your new God, KC:

That’s Patrick Mahomes, who will have “raw” added as a prefix to his name for the next five years. I grew up watching his dad pitch for the Twins, and now I feel monstrously old. Anyway, if I know Andy Reid, he will A) Sit Mahomes for so long that your balls explode and you die from screaming at every shot of Mahomes lingering on the sideline with a clipboard, and B) Fashion Mahomes into a robotic pocket passer who will only throw the ball 10 yards or longer if a fire breaks out. Just like Alex Smith! Gonna be a good year. Mahomes got robbed already.

I love this writer.