Why Maine is the worst f'ing state in the Union
 

I made a trip to Maine this week, and the state sucks. It's terrible. Here's why it's terrible, and I'm sure there are other reasons.

Toll roads. You can't even build your own roads so you make people have to stop and pay every ten minutes. Manage your money better, Maine.

Lobster rolls. Seriously, what is this? They're advertised everywhere and I finally got one, and it's just some plain lobster on a bun with some lettuce. Nothing else. Why is it called a roll? It's just a sandwich and not a very creative sandwich at that. I've made ham sandwiches at home that boasted more complexity. There's not even any drawn butter for the lobster. What a joke.

Maine has stupid geographic names. Wassamattamekong. Mustafaateanorca. Wakkawakkamoosebegone. Grow up, people. Give your stupid cities names that are reasonable.

Their state patrol gives innocent people speeding tickets just because they're driving in a rental car with Illinois plates. They have poorly marked speed limits and then give innocent people tickets who think that they're traveling less than six miles over the speed limit, and they then get informed that, 'nooooo, you're more than 10 mph so I can give you a ticket and then go sit in my car and watch moose porn for the rest of my shift.' This happens even if the visitor has not had a speeding ticket in 37 years.

No one wants to be near Maine. It's like the smelly kid in the cafeteria. Only one state will even touch it. That's practically impossible for a state that's not an island. New Hampshire lost a bet or something.

The best football player that sorry state ever produced is Jovan Belcher. Just run with that thought for a few minutes.

They had a scenic overlook of the highest peak in Maine. It's 5,264 feet. My house is higher than that. Seriously. My house is at 5,300 feet. Screw you and your tiny mountains, Maine.

Statehood? No one wanted Maine. It only got in because we wanted Missouri. Maine got in because of a compromise, not because we wanted it. Maine is the ugly girl trying to get into the night club with her hot friend.

And on that note, where was Maine during the revolution? People in New Hampshire and Massachusetts were risking their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor to secure freedom and democracy. People in Maine were just standing around in their red plaid writing tickets to revolutionary travelers.

Maine killed all of the local Indians with their interesting languages.

Seriously, give that monosyllabic dump back to Canada. It's useless.

It’s too close to canadia

Weird I call it Massachusetts II

ROFL, was wondering when you would elaborate.

please, tell us how you really feel. it seems you may be glossing over the points which anger you ;)

and yeah, maine sucks. :D

Awesome LMAO

I love Maine though.

The sad part is that the original name was, "Secondary".

Lot of egos up there in Secondary.

FAX

Note to self: Do NOT piss off Rain Man.

https://qph.fs.quoracdn.net/main-qim...ef872b896.webp

I just love all of your posts Rainman. rofl

I have no idea how he made it through Nebraska without getting pissed off. I suppose it helped that he was on a train. He could just close the window shade and pretend he was somewhere more interesting, like...uhhh...Maine?

I bet it sucks getting a ticket if you're driving through Maine huh Rain Man how do you think that would make you feel? Can you express your feelings on this matter a bit more ?

I have no comment on that matter. I'm merely posting an unbiased travel review.

I got pissed off at Texas a month after going to Fort Worthless Dallas I got a toll ticket in the mail and there were no toll booths to stop and pay :cuss:

They have cameras set up and took my tag number and Mother **** You Texas.

Tolls are really annoying. I've elaborated on Oklahoma tolls and California tolls in the past. On this trip I had to pay $3 a day to the rental car company for a device that allows me to automatically pay $1 every ten miles to the f'ing state of Maine. That's like a 300% tax.

And by the way, Portland? Portland is in Oregon, you losers. Augusta is in Georgia and Portland is in Oregon. Stop plagiarizing.

But were the roads in good shape?

"Secondary" as in #2 That's pretty shitty name.

Who the heck puts manhole covers 75% of the way across the lane? Your tires hit every single one of them. Put them in the middle where people's tires aren't hitting them, you Mangy Mainewads.

Oh, hey. I just now got that.

I believe it.

Maine is kinda ok, but I'm with you on the lobster rolls. **** them.

lobster rolls are delicious though

Maine the state that has not one hot babe.

Guchi maine

ROFL

I think this is the first time I’ve seen Rain Man post with vitriol. He always has snarky (and hilarious) remarks about Von Douche and Talib murdering fools. But never vitriol.

I enjoy their class V rapids. :)

Lobster rolls are bullshit because most of them are overpriced and undersized and sold to tourists who come up from other states. Aside from that, Maine is nice. Portland is a great little weird city. Bar Harbor is touristy but has nice shops and is close to Acadia National Park. Old Orchard Beach is an old time arcades and rides beach; York Beach is more laid back and has an old family zoo. Moose are cool. Last but not least, it has a shitload of trees (yay) and very few people (double yay).

But traffic cops? Yeah, those suck in all 50 states.

Maine has some really nice beaches and great state forest land but the people are strange. It's almost as if the gene pool became too shallow at some point.

It's an odd place.

DASHCAM FOOTAGE OF RAIN MAN GETTING TICKETED

(And, yes, it’s a Maine State Trooper.)

https://youtu.be/HnWy3Eh352w

Rainman setting that officer straight.

F**k tolls to death. But Stephen King?

I enjoyed my visit to Maine. Then again, I didn't drive when I was there.

It’s pretty in the fall...:shrug:

So.......you think we're hot?

(Looks over shoulder at bats eyes at handsome stranger)

There are nice people in Maine.

Ain't nothing wrong with Maine. It's cool.

Cheese and crow.

Well, recognize that you're standing next to Maine.

Not bad overall. But I want my lobster roll money back. It's a scam.

I was in Boston with the wife a few weeks ago and she wanted a lobster roll so we went to Faneuil Hall. They should hand out a little jar of K-Y with the food. I think it was like twenty bucks for a ****ing tablespoon of lobster.

There’s a place in south RI called Nordic Lodge. It’s a $92 buffet but that includes tax and tip so when you back it up you’re paying about $70 for the food. All you can eat lobsters, king crab legs, snow crab legs, fried sea scallops, crawfish salad, lobster salad, raw bar, fried shrimp, even Kobe beef. I save up and go there instead.

have you read his books? They don't exactly portray Maine as a place anyone wants to live at...

You went to the single biggest tourist trap in Massachusetts and then bitch you got raped like a tourist? Uhh.....

:p

ROFL I actually flew up there back in 91 to interview with a 2000 Sow operation. The ****ing owner giving me the interview had downs syndrome. Swear to God!

I couldn't get away fast enough!!!!!!

I also hate Maine. It's a popular vacation get-away destination but:

1. Most of it is too damn flat and boring. Driving to Acadia National Forest is a six hour drive through the exact same boring-ass, flat slightly windy, heavily treed, completely flat ****ing highway. It's like what I imagine the worst parts of Iowa or Kansas are like but instead of corn, it's just ****ing endless trees.

2. It's boring. Sure, if you want to go somewhere and do literally NOTHING, it's great. But if you want to do ANYTHING, you're pretty well ****ed.

You want relaxing and slow, but with some options, go to freaking New Hampshire. Maine is Portland (great for a 3 day weekend, like once, but then you're out of things to do), with a desert wasteland around it, but instead of sand, it's just flat, boring ass trees.

Bah Hahbah (Bar Harbor) isn't bad -- for like an extended weekend -- but the six hour drive through TreeHell is a pretty high price for a New England town atmosphere with extra tourist trap fixings. I can go nearly anywhere along the shore to get that, without driving so far and without the side order of massive tourist trap.

Nothing is worse than driving across Kansas.

You actually get excited when you see a tree.

I haven't done it, but I imagine you're right and that while I thought I was in hell driving forever through Maine, it was only the first layer of hell while Kansas is like the sixth...

That drive to Maine sounds like driving across Pennsylvania on I-80. From Ohio to New Jersey, literally nothing but trees.

Lived in both Pittsburgh and Philly, so familiar with that one. Maine's worse, IMHO. Flatter, so it just seems like you have an endless close up of the trees in front of you and not much else.

It also stifles any sense of actual progress, making the drive seem even more endless.

Maine is gorgeous in the summer.

I’m looking to go back.

OP lives in Denver and hates Maine. Lol

Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain and the 20th Maine were pretty dope, Rain Man.

LMAO

Probably so damn bored they were glad to go fight the war. :-P

But seriously, they may well have saved the damn Union, given that it was the extreme flank that the 20th Maine was defending. And Chamberlain was a serious bad ass. Later in the war he was giving a deathbed promotion to Brigadier General, but then didn't die! After the war, he was extremely active in all types of veterans reunions, and later served as governor of Maine and President of a college there. Bates, maybe?

I go to Colorado about every year and just got back a couple of days ago actually. Yeah the drive through Eastern Colorado-Western Kansas is horrible but at least I-70 is a very good road and you can go over 80. :)

Several years ago we took a trip to Boston then drove up to Maine to do some white water rafting. I enjoyed Maine and thought it was a cool place and would go back again.

Did the leaf tour from upper NY to Maine and back a few years ago. Loved it. Of course as others have said living in the Midwest driving anywhere on a winding road is pretty cool.

Driving on winding roads aren't cool for me. I ****ing hate them.

Try I-80 across central Wyoming sometime. At least in Maine and Kansas there are living things.

The only reason I don't rate that as the worst drive is because I only did it once, and it was different enough to be somewhat interesting.

I would love them if I was driving a high performance vehicle, and I was the only one on it, and didn't really need to get anywhere.



But since that's never the case, yes, **** them.

What I discovered when we went to Yellowstone a few years is ago, is that Wyoming has some amazing places, with some of the biggest expanses of absolutely ****ing nothing in between them.

I'm pretty sure I found the Official Middle of Nowhere on our way back towards Casper. It went on like this for well over an hour if not two.

https://scontent-dfw5-1.xx.fbcdn.net...9b&oe=5C61B215

You no like da lawbsta?

Bowdoin. I actually knew the college but not the spelling.

We did a guided park ranger tour of Little Round Top. Rough terrain.

lol pretty much. I drove up the Northern California coast to Oregon and those roads were curvy as ****, I still get sick thinking about them. The scenery was awesome though.

And your picture below looks alot like Western Kansas. There is nothing alive out there except maybe a few cattle. It is so windy out that way I don't see how anyone could live out there.

Yeah, same here. Gettysburg was a surprise hit with my two sons, both teenagers. History tends to bore them (to my complete dismay), but between the visitor's center and the tour, they really liked it. It came in second place for my PA trip, tied with feeding the ducks at the place we were staying. :LOL:

Easily a Top 5 Rainman thread.

Roads are usually good, even non tolls; repave frequently. CA takes your money and the roads are crap.
Yep, Mainers are usually very nice unlike massholes.
Make up your mind they are either interesting or stupid.
Where did you go? 95 from the south has a $1 and $3 toll to get to the coast but then there are no tolls on the coast. If you like tolls, take 95 south to NY area and find some 5, 10, $15 bridges. I think it cost me $40 in tolls to drive to Baltimore couple years ago. I've been to 49 states and moved to midcoast Maine from San Diego. Coastal Maine is the best especially when you get a little north and there are less people. I'm with you on lobster rolls. I have a recreational license for lobstering and catch 20+ per week in my backyard. My favorite way for lobster is lightly floured then deep fried, beans, homemade flour tortilla, salsa and guacamole California style with fries. Usually have that twice a week through the year.

The thing that most amazed me about Wyoming is how they do road construction. Years ago I was driving on a state highway northeast of Laramie, and suddenly the road was just.... gone. All the pavement had been removed. Went on like that, just dirt, for about a mile, and then the road started up again.

Must be a western thing, because I saw something similar in the Black Hills on the South Dakota side.

I'm sure they looks nothing like Wyoming, but I've done two utterly desolate drives in my time.

1. The drive from the airport on the big island of Hawaii to the resort we were staying. See picture below. My memory (this is from the 80s) is that the lava formations were smoother and taller than what you see below, but still, it was like landing on freaking Mars.

2. Drive from Hoover Dam to northern rim of the Grand Canyon. Desolate desert for miles and miles. There ain't nothing remotely like that in the northeast, that's for sure. Trees were in scarce supply. I'd probably have hated that drive if I was more used to seeing that (not that there was much to see), but it was so weird I was pretty fascinated by the nothingness of it all, so to speak. :shrug:


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I was going to keep quiet on this, but I was involved in an unpleasant incident arising from racism in Maine. Unpleasant comments from ignorant fools in a state which is literally 99% white.

Of course, that's just a couple of people, but still -- that left a bad taste in my mouth for the state also.

The Maine Lobster Festival is a great time. If you can't have a great time in Maine, there is always 6 Flags or Silver Dollar City. Or an Indian Casino.

Does this mean Missouri is the "hot chick"?

I respectfully disagree with Mr. Rainman.

I stayed in Kennebunkport and made a couple of trips down into Portland and some surrounding areas. I found it to be a fantastic, very pretty state.

I can only kind of disagree with Bugeater. Wyoming was, in fact, one of the most desolate spaces I have ever seen in my life. Until I continued further north into Montana and then drove through the high desert up there. We were on a motorcycle trip and got pretty far west into Montana before circling back towards the black hills (essentially made a giant squarish sort of thing starting in Colorado Springs). We were at open throttle across almost literally the entire state. That would've been terrifying but/for the fact that the road had no features to scare you; no turns, no hills - just a road that vanished due to the eventual curvature of the earth. The landscape has nothing that might hide wildlife which could jump in front of you. There are no cars that might turn in front of you or police presence that might be annoyed by your rate of travel. You could just go 120 mph for hours because there is literally nothing there.

Wyoming was desolate but I've never seen anything like Montana. This overpopulation nonsense is bullshit - there's plenty of space for people. They just don't want to live where it's cold...

Holy shit - yes, you're right. It just isn't there anymore. Now do that for 20 miles on a goddamn motorcycle. It is....not fun. 2 wheels and gravel do not mix.

And yeah, it was the strangest thing I've ever seen. No markers, no real warnings to speak of. The road just...stops. And then after awhile it starts again.

I tried to. He might be the only cool thing to ever come out of there. Maine is so awful that it made him crazy and a great writer. Maine sucking something awful, and a lot of Colombian Bam Bam helped his career to what it is

Sorry, that really is not right. It was almost Boston, Oregon.

https://www.koin.com/news/where-we-l...3222/960355546

Can Maine play safety?

Yeah, and this wasn't flat, open terrain, either - it was in a rugged, mountainous stretch. I also hit it right around dusk, and it was a road I had never driven on before. This was back in the days before GPS, and I had no phone service at the time. It was very disconcerting driving on that until the pavement started back up again.

Wyoming's largest city is Cheyenne...with a population of 60,000. ROFL


Yeah, not too many people there, and that's why we're thinking about moving there. Cold? It gets cold here in the midwest. I'll take it.

I had forgotten about the Great Salt Flats, we traveled across that when I was a kid. I seem to recall it going on for hours, but it was only 50 miles. It has to be longest stretch of interstate anywhere without any type of curve or hill. Just nothing.



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Mizzou never the hot chick.

Takes for ****ing ever!

It's very left-wing, lots of welfare up there. So they need those dastardly toll roads but a lobster roll rocks and so does their pretty, but rugged coastline with little hamlet villages.

Sounds like Rainman went to the wrong spots. No one goes there for mountains.

What, did they call you a masshole?

They call all mass folks that, even the ones formerly from Mass.

They are! I saw a Lobstah roll joint at the International Mall in Tampa the other day and couldn't resist stoppin' in for lunch for one.