UHHHH. Ok
 

So, I work on the 2nd floor of an office complex in Wichita. The 2nd floor has business's like insurance, investment, energy, etc. The 3rd floor is primarily for hair salons, massage therapy, photography, and the like.

Right above my office, there is a hair salon that I go to out of sheer convenience. Earlier today, I hear music blaring above me - fkg rap - and I can't figure wtf is going on. I let it play out for about 10 minutes and then it just starts to fkn annoy me. I'm trying to have a phone conversation and I'm hearing Lil Whayne in the background:cuss:

Anyhoo, I walk up to the 3rd floor salon, and there are no lights on. Initially, I thought maybe they might have some construction workers doing something for them, since they are closed on Monday's - but, where's the lights?. I knock on the door - no answer. I then proceed to walk in and turn the corner to the salon area. And then, I see it. There is a woman, buck naked, blowing a guy in a barber chair. The dude makes eye contact with me.

ChiTown "Uhh, sorry bout that".

Dude: "Uuh, Uuh, babe" (and points at me)

Chick (turning around to see what it is): "F*&^!" (and makes some guttural shrieking noise, while trying to cover herself up)

That's the some total of that conversation. Ok, here's where it get's weird.

A. Fkg lock the gdamn door next time you dumbfug's

B. Chick = Owner of the Salon

C. Dude does not equal her husband, whom I have met before

D. Chick = Gal who cuts my hair

E. I have an appointment with her to cut my hair on Friday:doh!:

Before you ask, yes, she has a very nice ass, and a decent set of knockers. I have totally blocked out any image of the man's penis. I need a drink.........

this thread is worthless without pics.

Awesome.

Damn it!

Ask her if you can also take advantage of the alternate payment method like the last guy did....

so it's a full service salon?

Did he cum or what?

this Friday cut is going to be very interesting.

tell her she better give you the full treatment and the happy ending better be damn good, otherwise you are gonna tell her husband.

maybe she'll shampoo your junk.

I wonder why she took her clothes off? That isn't required for a BJ, unless there are different requisites in Wichita.

just a little trim?

Whoa baby, first time I have literally laughed out loud in a while. Wowzer. LMAO...that's what you get for trespassing!

maybe she got confused when he asked for a blow-dry?

BJ and a haircut, two bits!

If you're smart, you'll find a new hair stylist before Friday.

My guess, and totally a guess, is that the BJ was a precursor to a nice barber chair ****.

Nice.

I'll need the address of this shop please. For....just give me the address!!

Yeah, she should at least rub them on ChiTown a little. :D

So you came early?

So...............was that why Lil Wayne was playin'?

Speaking of this, I have heard a rumor of a salon north of the river that doubles as an escort service. I have never tried to confirm said rumor, just passing along what I have heard. And for the sake of continuity, I heard this rumor a few years ago.

She called him so he could make it juicy for her.

2 Things.

1. Are you married?

2. Worthless w/out Pics

For your sake, ChiTown, I hope that isn't the only chair.

Dried jizz near your fly is one thing, but dried jizz on the back of your pants may draw unwanted attention.

If you do go to that appointment...I triple dog dare you to carry in a can of
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/...500_AA280_.jpg

and wipe off the chair before sitting down.

It'll make her feel like an

http://gruntlings.com/wp-content/upl...rox_inside.jpg

Well did she at least turn down the music afterwards?

That is what I call a sticky situation.

Sounds to me like you're getting free haircuts for life dude. I'd also have them throw in some massages etc....

Your day > My day

I work in the wrong city.

You could get some quality entertainment, and free haircuts out of this one.

She's the one that should feel out of place and shitty about this, not you.

Lock the door, dumbass.

I'm not sure how you got that from that, but ok!!


Seriously, though, this story is all too familiar.

1. Faithfully for over 15yrs

2. I'm not sure that the better shot wouldn't have been the look on my face.

This is what cameraphones are for.

No doubt, I would just go there with a big ass smile on my face, after getting the haircut - shampoo etc, load up on hair styling product. When she gives you a bill, smile and say "Yeah...I don't think so."

the best shot would've been on her face.

Also, hopefully there's another barber chair available.

I doubt it'd be that hard to find being at least a three story building in Wichita.

You didn't grab a magazine, sit down, and wait for your turn? :)

i doubt he has a fleshlight

Well, maybe things are different with you and Sully.

a. I don't normally just receive a BJ from Mrs. ChiTown. It's usually part of the meal, not the entire meal.

b. I assumed she was planning to get some for herself since her knickers were on the floor.

c. Familiar? Really? Do tell!:D

:hmmm:

Do tell....

[the wire]I'm just gonna call you Herc from now on[/the wire]

This whole thread is already hilarious, and this:

is my favorite of many good lines.

:clap:

You can use the planets help.

We need to assist you in coming up with as many fellatio suggestive every-day conversation lines as we can, and your job is to USE them during your haircut.

Man...the wind sure is BLOWING the snow around today.

say, could you see if she has an opening around 10AM on next Monday?

now some asshole just needs to figure out which salon this is and call her up.

Eeeeeeewwwwww! /luv

Do you ever have anyone complain when their haircut just sucks balls, even when it doesn't?

I took my kids to the circus this weekend, and they had an amazing sword swallower that looked just like you.

I'm heading out of town tomorrow morning. I have 3 days to devise my plan of attack for Friday's trim.................:D

Perhaps this time, you could use a little more creme rinse?

Offer her some chapstick. Don't say anything.


You should probably offer her a tic tac, because when she leans in close to check your bangs on your new ceasar cut, you don't want to be sniffing any cockbreath.

maybe I'll help you with a poem to read her during your trim.


Your husband's day off
home taking a nap.
I couldn't get work done
Interupted by rap.

I came in the walk through
to do bus'ness I was hopin'.
The sign in the window
wasn't all that was open.

I've seen pornos like this
where the chic was the boss
2 enter to disco
and filled her with sauce.

I've consulted urban dictionary
for finishing moves with some power
the dudes give high fives
in one called eiffel tower.

Him from the front
and me from behind
A more lucrative coupon
I'll again never find.

I guess with this photo
There's something to see
Its soothing to know
now my haircuts are free.

Without reading the whole thread,

"Can you give me a blow dry?"

"My hair is a little flat. I'm hoping you can fluff it up."

"I'm just looking for a little trim today."

"What can I get for $25?"

"Can I just get it teased a little?"

Tell her you just got a great deal on your new car.

"I never thought I'd get a hummer so cheap."

GTFO. Awesome!

ROFLROFLROFLROFL

Are you single and was her husband a douche?

Complaint department
customer service awesome
head massage welcome

Beauty salons not the same
In the north or the south
They massage your scalp with their fingers
not your head with their mouth.

I've had a trim on the east
high and tight in the west.
The only slight physical contact
the "tip me please" breast.

After a straight razor shave
I've been given a warm towel
But I've never seen one for cleaning
the face paint off the gal.

Men lined up to the street
for the special brow plucking
the economy weak
but your business is sucking.

in conversation, whatever she says, respond with "You said a mouthful"

what's a buck?

I believe through reading other threads it would be proper Chiefs Planet etiquette to immediately discover her husbands identity and snitch her trampy ass out.

not too shabby.

please do this

do it.

WHen you go in Friday
ask for a high an tight

"how do you want your cut today" /count suckula

"mmmfff mfmmfmfmfmmfmffff mmfff mmmfffff mmmfffff" /chitown

"what? how do you want your cut today, handsome?" /count suckula

"circumcise me above the ears"

You should get a percentage of the new business she pulls in now.

yeah....this. I like this.

Ok, I have been giving this some thought. I think this was a simple misinterpretation of what was truly happening. Obviously, this is one of those "green" salons with "natural" products. This poor salon owner was just in the process of harvesting said product for the next week. It seems reasonable that she would take off her clothes to avoid an expensive trip to the cleaners.

ChiTown, you may want to pass on the "gel" after your cut on Friday. I'm just sayin'...

I loved 'Happy Days,' when they cheer for Fonzie . . . but boy I liked to boo Chachi.

It's all in the delivery.

Yes, it appears that Chitown just discovered the secret to having a highly profitable wholesale beauty supply business.

:clap:

:D

That is fuggin' awesome!
You should def offer her a tic-tac on Fri. And you should tell her in addition to your usual haircut, your pubes need a trim as well.

ROFL....and people still doubt that stylists are only a small step up from strippers.

:clap:

so....by Friday you'll be gettin yourself a Lil' Wayne CD, eh?

Your opening line should be "So, How's (enter husband's name here) been lately?

Ah, blackmailing is such a beautiful thing....