this thread is epic

So in case you all were wondering what Maryland classifies as a 3rd degree sexual offense:

3rd degree sexual offense: Sexual contact without the consent of the victim, along with an aggravating factor, like causing or putting in fear of serious physical injury or disfigurement, suffocating, kidnapping, etc. Sexual contact is intentionally touching genitalia, the anus or other intimate area. It includes penetration by a part of the body except the penis or mouth.

Also includes sexual contact with mentally disabled victim, victim under age 14 and perpetrator 4 years older, a sexual act with victim 14 or 15 and perpetrator 21, vaginal intercourse with victim 14 or 15 and perpetrator 21.

I guess the lesson in all this is: Don't **** around and piss off the planet.

Come back, Marty. Do you seriously have 3 daughters? Are you even allowed around them?

Well this thread took a strange turn. I'm guessing we never see this guy again.

The latest revelations might explain why the dude claimed to have an attorney on speed dial....probably does.

I like the tags on this thread.

Doesn't he live with his wife still? That info shows a different addy

Wow... when I saw this earlier today I figured it was just a silly little cry for attention. (I also found what MTG was referring to) The OP has got to be one of the dumbest bastards I've ever seen.

The BD's are the same. Seems it would be quite the coincidence to have two guys in the same town with the same name and same birthdays. One of the addresses is probably old.

chiefsplanet misuse! chiefsplanet misuse!

I think we could rename this thread "Is _________ with a _________ worth losing your freedom?"

There is a lesson to be learned here. If you ever have a reason to treasure your anonymity, be VERY careful on what you say, fill out on a form, e-mail, click on, or do on the internet.

If you fail to do that, then try to live a boring ordinary life.

If you ignore rules #1 and #2, then at the very least do not enrage a huge online community.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiight

OMG! ROFL

This dude a a real gem. I have NEVER seen anyone more full of shit in person, or on-line in my life. Not only is this a sure lock for the hall of classics, but this may make Leno.

Way to try to cover your ass fat boy.....

I'm so tired... I was about to go to bed at post 103... then I kept reading. And I had to finish.

Phil... you're a god. Not THE god, but A god.

Oh no - don't put this all on my shoulders. I'm merely a facilitator. Heh.

We really need to find out what the terms of his sexual conviction were. If he wasn't allowed out of state on 12/25/04 we have some pictures that put him at 40 highway and Blue Ridge Cutoff.... Heh.

Holy shit, I haven't seen someone dismantled this badly on here for quite some time. I don't think this could've gone much worse for him. Damn.

Uh - who got it anywhere near this badly? We haven't even called his employer yet.

The only thing missing is Proctor logging on to tell us all how evil we are.

Nah - I'm pretty sure Proctor is completely against pedophiles.... oh wait - he's Catholic. nm

Nope, i trust my best friend with my life. Dude has stuck with me through some ****ed up times and i have done the same with him. He's like my brother.

The first one that comes to my mind is the beating Quicksurfer took, but then again, no one found his name on a sex offender list.

Uh. We've moved on. Read the entire thread.

**** that, to much reading, its xbox time.

If I may be so bold? There are very few threads I would tell you to read over playing your X-Box, but this one is headed to the hall without question and is about as funny as any thread in the history of the Planet.........comedy gold.

Second

Wow. I'll never ignore a 23 page thread again.

haha, you all are right. This thread was a whole hell of alot different then what i was expecting.

Phil, ya should have said that in the first place.

I didnt read everything, but read enough to understand what went down. Oh boy, opening up about your real life like that is a big ass no no on the internet.

Yes.

"people"? Does he mean like himself?

Okay, I apologize....

this "shygums" user/screenname is yet another of my aliases.

Pretty funny, eh? :shrug:


Heh. :LMAO:







I was really, really bored.....

:hmmm:







:shake:




;)

Apparently. He's definitely a few fries short of a Happy Meal.

I'll nominate it for the HOC....THIRD.....

You ****ers need to up your posts per page account.. It is only five pages for me..

That sexual offenders list is ****in hilarious. That will be the last time this clown posts on Chiefsplanet. His picture and address is there and everything.

Heck I thought you guys were just pulling his chain but the dude really is on the sex offenders list! Oh my I wonder what he's going to have to say next time he returns if he ever does!
Like someone else said maybe Phobia really is a god!!! Props to him!

Holy hell what did you do to get so much negative rep??

Skippy didn't like my remarks about direct tv vs. dish one day so we had a rep. war. I lost as you can see!

must be comforting to know that any time - from now to the end of the intertubes - an employer or friend googles your name they will find a thread in which you are revealed to be an emotional reerun, a stalker, a scumbag adulterer, and a sex offender...

This thread deserves a Wow.

Nothing quite like this one. That dude is messed up.

Props to Iowanian and Phobia.

I get the feeling that most of that would probably be obvious during the interview.

spongegums(credit sec) arse yesterday at breakfast
http://academic.emporia.edu/aberjame...cade/cas01.jpg



Here is a diagram of the events following spongegums spreading cheeks on CP, challenging the beast to fook it


http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/art...elensblast.jpg

I remember feeling this way about a girl...and then I turned 19.

I can't believe that I'm using this quote on here...I can't fucking believe it. However, it rings pretty true to your situation. Stamp it on your forehead so you never forget:

Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.

This thread made an interesting shift.

And, Phobia may indeed be the Anti-Christ.

This guy has been owned more than the Zulu nation in the new world.

"Ma'am, the police aren't going to enforce your western whopper"

Wait? He's gonna be blowing some police officer now instead of celebrating family holidays?

Wow.....just wow.

I'm set at 50 posts/page. Reading the first page, I'm starting to feel sorry for this guy, but ultimately he seemed like a 35 year old with the emotional maturity of a 16 year old...so I drop a couple of posts....

Then every successive page is like another level of perdition. Just increasingly more fucked up, grotesque, and perverse. To top it off, the dumb motherfucker leaves his personal info out there while he is a registered sex offender. I thought this might turn Springer around the time he mentioned his wife. Little did I know that Jerry's show was about as analogous to this guy's life as Skinemax is to the BME Pain Olympics.

I read the first page, wasn't terribly interested.

Some outside force was begging me to read the last page.....

Apparently, I have some catching up to do - about 5 pages worth.

ROFL @ some of the tags

Holy crap - I figured this was some mushy man-whine fest based on the thread starter, so I've ignored it. This has got to be one of the craziest thread twists ever.

Oh, and would one of the first few posters mind putting the content of the original post in their message for context? I was confused as hell for the first few pages. Phobia copied it in here:

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showp...&postcount=258

Ha, all identifying information just disappeared from his profile.

I've been chatting with his wife via Yahoo.

Looks like people actually did call his house last night .... which is not cool at all.

Agreed on that one. How the hell did you get his wife's IM info?

Nothing like publicizing your appearance on the Maryland Sex Offender registry....

This place ****ing rocks.

People called his house?
That's ****ed up.
Fighting classlessness with classlessness is a loser proposition.

Take a wild guess.... - in his profile. Actually, she responded to my friend add request from last night - this morning. She was using his account.

She's saying the cops were there until late last night.

Agreed.

This place doesn't rock as much as was previously indicated.

Disappointing that someone would take it THAT far.

Yeah. I mean, is your life really so pathetic that you've gotta call some dude who you know from a bulletin board on a Friday night?? That kind of stuff reflects poorly on all of us, almost as bad as this fucktard does.

It's him. Does anyone REALLY believe the cops came? Or were even CALLED?

Pure genious.

I wonder how the cops feel about a registered sex offender whining about his info being posted on the internet.

I don't know what to believe. They claim the sex offender isn't even him. When I said "it looks just like him" they claim it's his cousin - they were both named after an uncle.

In any case, the offense was a 23 year old sleeping with a 16 year old girlfriend - which is kinda pathetic but I'm not sure it warrants being forever included on a sexual predators site.

For the record. I never called, emailed, IMd or smoke signaled the clown...his home shouldn't have been called, but this is another case of a guy presenting his ass and daring the world to stuff something in it.


I do hope, he was detailed enough to show the police the part where he wanted to commit violence, if I were only brave enough like him, to put my information out there.

Actually, they may be telling the truth. A whitepages search turns up a different address for "Marty and Shannon Shook" than "Marty Shook" in Cumberland, Maryland. And the latter matches the address on the sex offender web site.

I also thought this thread would suck. Then i seen how many pages there were and i thought there has to be something going on. Little did i realize how this thread ended up, and its still going. Im not sure if i would say its hilarious or bad. Depends on your perspective. Now we're still getting more dirt on this scumbag.
This guys a real POS.

Same here.

I'm actually serious when I say this: maybe instead of writing (or in addition to) you should start a radio show (even an internet one). You seem to be able to get people like this guy to spill all kinds of information. Either that, or you are the world champion of the google.

I've mentioned this before IIRC, but....

In the great state of Missouri, if you're a male and caught urinating in public, you are placed on the Sex Offender Registry?

How ****ed up is that?

I can think of no better song to describe this guy than this one:

I am the son
And the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and heir
Of nothing in particular

You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way ?
I am human and i need to be loved
Just like everybody else does


I am the son
And the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and heir
Oh, of nothing in particular


You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way ?
I am human and i need to be loved
Just like everybody else does


Oh ...
Oh ...


There's a club, if you'd like to go
You could meet somebody who really loves you
So you go, and you stand on your own
And you leave on your own
And you go home, and you cry
And you want to die


When you say it's gonna happen "now"
Well, when exactly do you mean ?
See, i've already waited too long
And all my hope is gone


Oh ...
Oh ...


You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way ?
I am human and i need to be loved
Just like everybody else does


Ok ?

Yeah, if my cousin with the exact same name was a registered perv I wouldn't change my name or anything....

Interesting. Okay - I can believe that. But then she told me the picture he provided was of her, not the girlfriend.

I'm not sure I believe that part at all. She also said the affair lasted 3 months, not 6 years and that Marty was jerking everybody's chain the whole thread because "he likes to argue". In fact, I'm not even certain I was chatting with Shannon at all. I think it was him doing a CYA.

Samir: No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Samir Na-gheen-an-a-jar. Nagheenanajar.
Michael Bolton: Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.
Samir: You know there's nothing wrong with that name.
Michael Bolton: There was nothing wrong with it... until I was about 12 years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys.
Samir: Hmm... well why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael?
Michael Bolton: No way. Why should I change? He's the one who sucks.

Bob Dole had the same thought...

From what I have seen out of this guy, that would be my guess. Someone is trying to cover their ass. In any event, well played on the digging. :thumb:

On a side note, it someone did call the dudes house, I would call that out of bounds and low test and I hope that was a wild west story on his part as well.

Next up is Samir Naga Nog?

Not gonna post here any more ROFL.

QFT.

You have either never been to Iowa or you think noone here has ever been to Cumberland, MD.
I spent about three weeks there installing some robots in the ATK plant. It's not exactly the center of civilization.