I can't get this lyric out of my head

You men eat your dinner,
Eat your pork and beans
I eat more chicken
Any man ever seen — yeah, yeah.

What's your rating?

-1 /claythan







jk

I'll let you know. I just put my pener on the internet.

the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm

...

I ****ing love you.

I just ate 5 Bacon Cheese Burgers from Burger King

Why does it take half of the roll of toilet paper just to start the roll of toilet paper?

I hate when someone texts me and asks if I want to do something tonight and I don't have their number in my phone. Always feels awkward saying "That depends, who is this?"

you were thinking the same thing? ;)

I got this text the other day from a number not programmed in my phone, here is what it read:
"A bird just ran into my car and I almost puked." And they never texted me again. I still have no idea who it was.

ugh, gross

Whats even worse is when you figure out that message was from a guy that is trying to hang out with your ex. He was "facebook stalking" her and she gave him my number when he asked for hers.

I will no longer discriminate against Kettle Cooked Potato Chips!

should have told him you'd meet him

ROFL I just found out it was him and I'm in a completely different area of the state now. I told her that he wants to meet up though so we'll see how that goes.

I once received a text from a strange number writing me as if I were her boyfriend. I decided to be a complete asshole and proceed to reply to her and tell her what a total c*** she was and that if I saw her again she'd be sorry.

I still kinda feel bad about that one.

Yeah...I may have punched my ticket to hell there.

ROFL thats great.

I need to shave.

I didn't think this guy looked good in red. Maybe he'll prove me wrong. Seriously though, everyone loves Eric from That 70's Show.

The Member's List on this forum should be marked "SFW."

My childhood best friend, with whom I slept over countless times, went on family vacations (including one to Chicago to see the Cubs), played NBA Jam, and traded baseball cards, is gay. He's engaged, actually.

That's so ****ing awesome. I literally ran a lap around the house when I found out.

lol nub

Here's truthiness: So was mine-well, my best friend from age 11 though about 14. I found out about 15 years ago (we would both have been ...31?). There's no way I would exert the energy to run (are-you-****ing-kidding-me), but I think I opened a bottle of Crown Royal in his honor.

I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

Bitches can't make up their minds.

I just found out that my childhood friend......is schizophrenic.

You know what would be weird? You were probably both pretending to like girls at that point, but he may have secretly liked you instead of girls because he was gay, and you may have secretly liked him of girls instead because you were a girl, and now he's gay and could actually admit it, but since you're a girl he can't any more, and now that you're a girl you could actually admit it, but since he's gay you can't any more. It's like an episode of Three's Company that couldn't be shown in the 70s.

This makes me think: "WTF???"
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/JzQqTHeWVrM&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/JzQqTHeWVrM&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Exactly.

And all of the best guys are gay, anyways. Well, gay or living in Colorado driving apricot BMWs.

Or Reaper.

Speaking of NBA Jam, why was MJ never in any of those games.

Thats mularkey.

Licensing bullhonkey.

We always used to unlock DJ Jazzy Jeff.

And who needs MJ? You've got these bitchin' teams:

# Charlotte Hornets: Muggsy Bogues, Dell Curry, Hersey Hawkins, Larry Johnson and Alonzo Mourning
# Indiana Pacers: Antonio Davis, Derrick McKey, Reggie Miller and Rik Smits
# Orlando Magic: Nick Anderson, Horace Grant, Penny Hardaway and Dennis Scott
# Phoenix Suns: A.C. Green, Kevin Johnson, Danny Manning, Dan Majerle and Wayman Tisdale

Reggie! Smits! Muggsy! Zo! Grandmama! Penny! KJ! Majerle! 3-D!!!!!! And so many more!

Oh my God, the early '90s NBA ****in' owned.

It's so hot when a chick invites you to view her webcam...AND DOESN'T ASK YOU TO PAY!!!

The Hornets were brilliant in NBA Jam. My allegiance is to the Magic, but gatdamn could the Hornets ball on that game.

hi5!

!!
 

Dangit! Now I gotta move to Colorado and drive a apricot BMW

.
http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Rob/saturday.png

So it looks like the hotel minibar is mostly a thing of the past. I bet I haven't seen one in 4 years.

Everyone figured out that it was a lot cheaper and more efficient to walk two blocks over to the nearest CVS pharmacy and bring some booze back to the hotel.

Yeah, I brought mine with me from home. Which leads to my second random thought:

I hate drinking out of plastic. Give me real glass every time. I know that the maids just wipe out the glasses with used bath towels, but I'd still rather have the option of washing out my own glass by hand and not having to drink out of plastic.

Damn, I've seen this episode of Renovation Realities.

I just registered as ManInWomensLockerRoom on the Oxygen Women's Fitness forums.

my favorite spaceship (country version)
 

naked titties, naked titties hangin out down by the windmill
where's the piggies, oh shit the piggies are dead they got the pork flu
dirty penguins, dirty penguins i laid out the bars of soap down by the pond
there's a storm a brewin better put the zebras back in the barn

naked titties, naked titties lets have a picknic

I had Asian Chicken Jumbalaya for lunch today. It was awesome.

Yeah you did.

Yeah I did.

That's Awesome. Like me.

mama's don't let your babies grow up to be gochiefs

If dogs didn't have fur, would we still pet them?

There can be only one.

Next month I'll have it on the 17th in order to show my appreciation of the awesomeness of DaKCMan AP.

god damit.

I spend all day trying to get that song off my radio, and now its in my head.

i wonder what they did with my foreskin. Did they sell it to some foreign food restraunt as a food delicacy like the doc said or not.

Extreme Awesomeness.

You're welcome.

I want to be Robert Muldoon.

http://www.yourprops.com/norm-478ccb...281993%29.jpeg

You want to get ripped apart and eaten by a vicious carnivore?

I hate when it rains all day

Every man dies. Not every man really lives.

http://www.jplegacy.org/encyc/database/10.jpg

Robert ****ing Muldoon wouldn't go to bed at 10pm on a Friday night.

I'm so getting some tonight :) :dom: :dom: :dom:

Jinx.

I find it really hot when you drive past a car, and the woman in the passenger seat has her legs up on the dash. But when you see a guy doing the same thing, I have this urge to ridicule them.

Shit why wait til tonight? The days early :D


Nothin like a nooner

ALS or "Lou Gehrig's Disease" is nasty. A friends mother just died last night from it. She was diagnosed not 9 months ago, quick downturn.

I've heard of this disease but never knew anyone that had it, and how quick it hits. Total muscle loss after 9 months. First is was a left foot wouldn't work, then the left hand. After 4 months she couldn't walk and was in a wheel chair.

My coworker is frustratingly slow. I was trying to explain the benefits of vaporizing alcohol, and he goes, "Sweet, you'd get high as f***!"
Me-"Drunk, really. But ya, it hits you pretty quick."
"No, you're inhaling it so you'd get high."
"No, it's still alcohol in your bloodstream, it just gets there quicker. You get drunk."
"No, you'd get high. It's going in your lungs."
this conversation went on for about 3 minutes.... i had to walk away it was so frustrating

Husband: "Sex is out."
Wife: "Why?"
Husband: "Because I dropped a big deuce."
Wife: "Ok" *pukes a little in her mouf* "U can still hop ur stinky ass in the shower."
Husband: "I suppose I could."
Wife: *Analyzes conversation* "Ya know what, never mind."

I can't wait till Thursday.

Tourist are F'ing STUPID!!!!ROFL

Tacos rule.

I watch too many movies. I'm addicted to Netflix. It probably keeps me off Chiefs Planet more though, so maybe that's a good thing ...

The spontaneous desire to run your fingers through a woman's hair after putting on or removing a condom, make you an asshole?

No

Kidney stone sucks.
Posted via Mobile Device

I can't imagine in a million years the two of us ever being friends. You are so petty and two faced even if it's not directed at me. I feel bad for you. And your pathetic existance. We would all do alot better if we designed and spoke your opinions for you. Youre garbage. Youre the vapor emanating from the garbage. You are the bird shit that was released when the bird smelled the vapors from the garbage.

Thank god for torrents.

Opa!

I pulled the blown motor from my van last night.

First time.

Whoa! Who is this directed at?

I really shouldn't post before my morning bowl of... cereal!