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jaa1025 06-01-2020 10:10 PM
Need help Code RED
 
It's my anniversary tomorrow. Well, it's our 1.5 anniversary. We eloped in November of 2018 and didn't tell our families. So we had our "fake" wedding a year ago tomorrow with friends and family. We already celebrated our anniversary in November so I didn't think anything of it until yesterday when the wife said something.

I'm at a loss. I have no idea what to do, what to get. Thankfully, she doesn't like jewelry ($$). In November I put together a nice picture album of our time together, flowers, dinner etc.

I need ideas. She likes thoughtful gifts more than expensive.

Satan 06-01-2020 10:12 PM
Your wife committed adultery. Twice.

sd4chiefs 06-01-2020 10:22 PM
Get her a nice power tool.:hmmm:

Jesus Christ 06-01-2020 10:25 PM
Have you considered frankincense?

jaa1025 06-01-2020 10:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus Christ (Post 15000281)
Have you considered frankincense?
What is that?

Naptown Chief 06-01-2020 10:34 PM
Is she into stereotypical romantic stuff? Roses, candlelight, her favorite dinner/movie type thing?

Perhaps a day at the spa with her friend or mom/sister whatever

Anything practical (if she's more that type. My last ex was) she needs? Vacuum, new phone, etc?

A homemade book of IOU- Backrub, kid duty, whatever?

If she's more the feisty type, take her rioting?

Jesus Christ 06-01-2020 10:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaa1025 (Post 15000290)
What is that?
It's a really crappy ****ing present to get for your birth, that's what it is.

Jewish Rabbi 06-01-2020 10:35 PM
Anal is always a good option.

Satan 06-01-2020 10:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaa1025 (Post 15000290)
What is that?
It's known as the king of essential oils as it has a variety of notable uses and benefits. It's revered for its ability to beautify and rejuvenate skin when applied topically, and to promote cellular health and immunity and produce a healthy inflammatory response.

POND_OF_RED 06-01-2020 10:38 PM
If you already celebrated your anniversary in November and she’s wanting you to do something for the 1.5 year “fake” anniversary I’d get her a new whip and maybe a new leash for yourself.

eDave 06-01-2020 10:42 PM
How about some sort of momento related to your elopement.

Rasputin 06-01-2020 10:43 PM
Take her fishing. Fishing is the answer to every problem.

ping2000 06-01-2020 10:43 PM
This isn't rocket science.https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/202...117dc02fa0.jpg

Jewish Rabbi 06-01-2020 10:43 PM
I can send you a picture of my dick to give her :shrug:

Jewish Rabbi 06-01-2020 10:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ping2000 (Post 15000313)
Is that a butt plug attachment?

Beef Supreme 06-01-2020 10:45 PM
https://external-content.duckduckgo....jpg&f=1&nofb=1

Satan 06-01-2020 10:46 PM
Image: Not Safe for Work
NSFW Image

Jesus Christ 06-01-2020 10:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Satan (Post 15000326)
Image: Not Safe for Work
NSFW Image
Damnit Satan, we've talked about this.

ping2000 06-01-2020 11:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jewish Rabbi (Post 15000318)
Is that a butt plug attachment?
Try it and report back to the group!

cosmo20002 06-01-2020 11:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaa1025 (Post 15000260)
It's my anniversary tomorrow. Well, it's our 1.5 anniversary. We eloped in November of 2018 and didn't tell our families. So we had our "fake" wedding a year ago tomorrow with friends and family. We already celebrated our anniversary in November so I didn't think anything of it until yesterday when the wife said something.

I'm at a loss. I have no idea what to do, what to get. Thankfully, she doesn't like jewelry ($$). In November I put together a nice picture album of our time together, flowers, dinner etc.

I need ideas. She likes thoughtful gifts more than expensive.
It isn't your anniversary.
You don't have to do anything.
What am I missing here?

crazycoffey 06-01-2020 11:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus Christ (Post 15000281)
Have you considered frankincense?
Don’t forget the myrrh....

eDave 06-01-2020 11:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by cosmo20002 (Post 15000387)
It isn't your anniversary.
You don't have to do anything.
What am I missing here?
Wife said something.

crazycoffey 06-01-2020 11:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus Christ (Post 15000297)
It's a really crappy ****ing present to get for your birth, that's what it is.
Well, now days.... but like who was going to jarrods 2052 something years ago?

Why Not? 06-01-2020 11:22 PM
Honestly, a 1.5 anniversary sounds like something high schoolers celebrate. Tell her she gets one anniversary celebration per year like everyone else in the world.

cosmo20002 06-01-2020 11:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by eDave (Post 15000391)
Wife said something.
Yeah, but why? Seems like reminding her that it isn't their anniversary might clear things up.

eDave 06-01-2020 11:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by cosmo20002 (Post 15000401)
Yeah, but why? Seems like reminding her that it isn't their anniversary might clear things up.
https://i.imgur.com/AevgXrOg.jpg

crazycoffey 06-01-2020 11:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Satan (Post 15000303)
It's known as the king of essential oils as it has a variety of notable uses and benefits. It's revered for its ability to beautify and rejuvenate skin when applied topically, and to promote cellular health and immunity and produce a healthy inflammatory response.
Now days it’s called oil of Olay.... well basically. If oil of Olay existed thousands of years ago it could have been frankincense or maybe marijuana.

Why Not? 06-01-2020 11:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by eDave (Post 15000408)

:LOL:

Satan 06-01-2020 11:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by crazycoffey (Post 15000411)
Now days it’s called oil of Olay.... well basically. If oil of Olay existed thousands of years ago it could have been frankincense or maybe marijuana.
I don't think people should be smoking marijuana.

crazycoffey 06-01-2020 11:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by crazycoffey (Post 15000411)
Now days it’s called oil of Olay.... well basically. If oil of Olay existed thousands of years ago it could have been frankincense or maybe marijuana.
So probably full spectrum CBD oil? Yes

I guess anyway....


/just speeding up all the conversations. But you should probably care more about the conversations from everyone else. You know, PIIHB club. First rule is?????

crazycoffey 06-01-2020 11:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Satan (Post 15000414)
I don't think people should be smoking marijuana.
I never inferred that, my lord.... But; you can not argue with the benefits of the leaf oil....

Satan 06-01-2020 11:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by crazycoffey (Post 15000422)
I never inferred that, my lord.... But; you can not argue with the benefits of the leaf oil....
You want to meet me? Because that's how you meet me. It's not called the Devil's Lettuce for nothing.

jaa1025 06-01-2020 11:36 PM
Thanks for a few ideas and some laughs.

Jesus Christ 06-01-2020 11:42 PM
He's right. Don't smoke weed and stay the hell out of Georgia.

Satan 06-01-2020 11:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus Christ (Post 15000438)
He's right. Don't smoke weed and stay the hell out of Georgia.
https://i.imgur.com/MZ9iDYf.jpg

Jesus Christ 06-01-2020 11:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Satan (Post 15000448)
Don't make me call my dad!

God Himself 06-01-2020 11:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus Christ (Post 15000449)
Don't make me call my dad!
You're on your own, kid.

crazycoffey 06-01-2020 11:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Satan (Post 15000426)
You want to meet me? Because that's how you meet me. It's not called the Devil's Lettuce for nothing.
And I thought the devil’s lettuce was when you wilted the last time we meet.

Satan 06-01-2020 11:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by God Himself (Post 15000452)
You're on your own, kid.
Sup homie?

crazycoffey 06-01-2020 11:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus Christ (Post 15000438)
He's right. Don't smoke weed and stay the hell out of Georgia.
Don’t SMOKE weed


See even Jesus says CBD oil is ok.... oh and he really, really , really , REALLY doesn’t want Satan in Georgia.

Must be where Jesus grows his hemp

Satan 06-01-2020 11:55 PM
I wish I had a dad. :(

Satan 06-01-2020 11:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by crazycoffey (Post 15000462)
Don’t SMOKE weed


See even Jesus says CBD oil is ok.... oh and he really, really , really , REALLY doesn’t want Satan in Georgia.

Must be where Jesus grows his hemp
As you can see, I've already been to Atlanta the last few days.

crazycoffey 06-01-2020 11:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Satan (Post 15000460)
Sup homie?
God is, you’re not. Mr fallen star......

Jesus Christ 06-01-2020 11:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Satan (Post 15000463)
I wish I had a dad. :(
Aww, Satan. I didn't know you felt that way.

crazycoffey 06-01-2020 11:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Satan (Post 15000464)
As you can see, I've already been to Georgia this week.
What soul did you steal?

Satan 06-01-2020 11:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus Christ (Post 15000467)
Aww, Satan. I didn't know you felt that way.
Thank you my friend. Count your blessings.

Satan 06-02-2020 12:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by crazycoffey (Post 15000468)
What soul did you steal?
I'm not sure how that whole "stealing your soul" thing came about. I've never stolen a soul. People just hand them to me. And for what? To play guitar?

ChiefsFanatic 06-02-2020 02:21 AM
PIIHB?

Sent from my GM1915 using Tapatalk

Hog's Gone Fishin 06-02-2020 02:56 AM
Maybe you can find some advice in the short video.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/mj10vLEg2xc" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

big nasty kcnut 06-02-2020 03:16 AM
Get her a spa day or a vase full of flowers.

38yrsfan 06-02-2020 05:43 AM
You ask her boy friends yet?

Holladay 06-02-2020 06:23 AM
Been there done that, married twice to the same woman. You're screwed. Now you have to remember TWO anniversarys.

Quote:
Anything practical (if she's more that type. My last ex was) she needs? Vacuum, new phone, etc?
WHAT EVER YOU DO, DO NOT GET A VACUUM. I made that mistake 3x. I knew she liked to clean and thought it was practical. 3x...color me stupid. The inference is that you expect her to clean. Bad idea.

I find the sexy thing for guys to do is cook. Something simple...spaghetti. Grill a nice steak. If you haven't learned to cook something you both enjoy...now is your time to learn.

Write your own anniversary card. Don't get flowers (wife told me that too), get a small rose bush that you can plant in the yard. You will talk about that for years (unlike flowers).

What is the favorite thing she likes to do. It better not be vacuuming:)

Take her putt putt golfing, bowling something different.

In the end, you screwed up. You forgot. Been there done that.

The thought that counts.

Worse comes to worse, get her a bemmer.

Naptown Chief 06-02-2020 07:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Holladay (Post 15000669)
Been there done that, married twice to the same woman. You're screwed. Now you have to remember TWO anniversarys.



WHAT EVER YOU DO, DO NOT GET A VACUUM. I made that mistake 3x. I knew she liked to clean and thought it was practical. 3x...color me stupid. The inference is that you expect her to clean. Bad idea.

I find the sexy thing for guys to do is cook. Something simple...spaghetti. Grill a nice steak. If you haven't learned to cook something you both enjoy...now is your time to learn.

Write your own anniversary card. Don't get flowers (wife told me that too), get a small rose bush that you can plant in the yard. You will talk about that for years (unlike flowers).

What is the favorite thing she likes to do. It better not be vacuuming:)

Take her putt putt golfing, bowling something different.

In the end, you screwed up. You forgot. Been there done that.

The thought that counts.

Worse comes to worse, get her a bemmer.
Depends on the woman I guess. I was specifically asked for it. Obviously the vacuum wasn't the sole gift.

As far as flowers, they were given in two ways. A bouquet to hand her while the others' petals lined the floor leading to the dining room, where a candlelight dinner was had. +1 on the cooking idea. I cook/bake and a nice meal is always appreciated.

58-4ever 06-02-2020 08:27 AM
dude, this is pretty simple. Get her an activity or two, plus a gift. I would vote a massage and a night out with a bed and breakfast or nice hotel. Get her one of those boxes that they send every quarter. Popsugar has one that my wife loves.

oldman 06-02-2020 08:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Why Not? (Post 15000400)
Tell her she gets one anniversary celebration per year like everyone else in the world.
This. Ask yourself this, when your kids ask about when you were married, which date will you use? Yes, it might be awkward explaining to both families and friends, but sooner or later the truth will come out. It's probably best to come clean now and avoid 50-60 years of buying 2 presents.

RealSNR 06-02-2020 08:47 AM
Hey honey, I got you your very own thread on chiefsplanet.com! Happy anniversary!

Sorce 06-02-2020 09:07 AM
Give her a choice to pick an anniversary. Then PIIHB.

Jesus Christ 06-02-2020 09:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sorce (Post 15000876)
Give her a choice to pick an anniversary. Then PIIHB.
That's not what that hole is for, my child.

digger 06-02-2020 09:41 AM
Hookers and blow, maybe? Or two chicks, she might like that as well... ;)

Iowanian 06-02-2020 10:49 AM
Maybe you should just pull the bandaide off now and "forget" this one so she'll get used to it.

Maybe go fishing with your friends.

Tell her to pick which one she wants to celebrate, you're not responsible for both.

tooge 06-03-2020 09:17 AM
PIIHB


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