Originally Posted by DaneMcCloud (Post 5441341)

Mistake #1.

I've said here before and I'll say it again: Hairdressers are nearly synonymous with strippers. I've even known hairdressers that strip on amateur nights.

Originally Posted by ChiTown (Post 5441310)

OK, with the excitement of today, I sort of forgot that my wife was coming by my office around 9:30 so we could go to my son's classroom play together. F*&^! Chick sees wife - wife sees chick who has been crying - chick scurries out of office. This isn't going to end well, and my penis never even got out of my pants.

Chi - "Hey"

Wife - "........................."

Chi - "you ready to go?"

Wife - (looking for blunt object in my office to beat me with) "NO! WTF was that?"

Ok, at this point, I can't decide whether it would just be easier to lie and to say it was me in the barber chair, or to tell the truth while she's calls me a liar. Seriously, what woman is going to believe this shit.

Chi - "We're going to be late"

Wife - "**** You! What was that all about?"

Normally, I get turned on when my wife talks dirty, but somehow, my penis was going inverted at this point.

Chi - (blurting out the truth) "She gave a BJ to some guy in her barber chair and I watched.................." ****! Not watched you dumbass, SAW!

Wife - "You watched!" (Tears)

OK, at this point, I'm pretty sure my son will be without one or both parents at his class play. All b/c his Dad didn't get a blow job, but bore witness to one.

Chi - "SAW, not watched, SAW!"

Wife - (Cussing and crying - all very inaudible)

Chi - "Well, we need to go if we're going to........"

Wife - "BS, I can't believe you are cheating on me with a stripper"

This really sucks, ya know. First of all, she's a beauty technician, not a stripper - so I was a little offended by that. 2ndly, I NEVER FKG CHEATED, GAWDAMNIT! Nevertheless, my marriage of 15+ years, is about to go down in flames in less than 15 minutes. Short of a Nuclear Holocaust blowing through Wichita, I thought this whole sequence was going rather well....

Chi - "She cuts my hair - THAT's all"

Wife - (she's now on her cell phone - I had no idea she had our lawyer on speed dial)

Chi - "Hun?"

Wife -"I don't want to be around you. I'm going to the play, and would prefer if you didn't go" (office door slams shut)

Swellsville. **** it. I have half of a mind to go up to Chick's shop and get the BJ that my wife thinks I have already received. At least I wouldn't be lying in her eyes at that point.

Chi - (phoning the hair salon) "yeah, I need to cancel my appointment for today"

Phone Hooker (IQ of 3) - Would you like to reschedule, Mr. ChiTown?

:evil:

Chi - "No. Not until that marriage wrecking, cock sucker leaves your salon"

Phone Hooker - "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh", I don't understand (click)

Originally Posted by T.B.A. (Post 5441374)

Chi, I need help dealing with your sister in law...Mrs. T.B.A.....tell me how you plan to deal with YOUR predicament. I will make it fit my current criteria.

Originally Posted by ChiTown (Post 5441378)

Do yourself a favor - shoot yourself in the face. STAT!

Originally Posted by ChiTown (Post 5441378)

Do yourself a favor - shoot yourself in the face. STAT!

Originally Posted by DaneMcCloud (Post 5441383)

Good luck, Dude.

If I told my wife that I walked in on my hairdresser giving some dude a blowjob, she's say "Alright."

And that would be the end of it.

Originally Posted by T.B.A. (Post 5441386)

Actually, mine too.....just before she punted my testicles. Her philosophy is: If I may have done debauchery....I did.

Originally Posted by DaneMcCloud (Post 5441389)

Ouch

Originally Posted by T.B.A. (Post 5441416)

It's not my fault that I am this goddamn good looking.....