Gladiator 2018 - Round 1, Match 29 - TimBone versus Bwana
 

Vote for the person that you think would win this match in a battle to death or submission. As background, assume that prior to the tournament you received 10 minutes of training on every weapon. The time listed is the amount of time before the match where you learn what the weaponry and venue is. All participants are handed their weapons at t=0 unless stated otherwise.

Venue - At the CP bash (people know the combatants)
Starting Distance - 6 feet

TimBone

Main Weapon - Flame thrower
Backup Weapon - Thick glass bottle

Prep Time - 8 Minutes
Special Factors - Your main weapon is given to you at the beginning of your prep time, not at time t=0, but it's in one of those hard to open plastic shrinkwrapped clamshell things.

Bwana

Main Weapon - Nunchaku
Backup Weapon - 10 Lawn darts

Prep Time - 42 seconds
Special Factors - You get a two-second head start at the beginning of the match.

Shit that flamethrower is not getting out of that clamshell in time. Six feet starting distance eh? Tim is getting beat to death with nunchuks.

2 second head start
6 feet starting distance
RIP TimBone

Tough match

Impaled with the lawn darts then beaten with the Nunchaku.Bwana for the win. Flame thrower half opened doesn't do anything.

BAWAN is actually a black belt IRL, so unless TimBone has a lightsaber to cut through that damnable clamshell crap, BAWAN is going to get a drum beat going upside Tim's head with those 'chucks. And call me skeptical, but I don't think that thick bottle is going to help in this case, especially with patteeu screaming out MOD ABUSE in the middle of the bash.

BAWAN wins this Thunderdome of mod-on-mod abuse.

Have I ever mentioned that I'm absolutely fantastic at opening those plastic shrinkwrapped clamshell things?

Too bad Tim. Hope you recover in time for the game day Chat Room.

:eek:

That was a solid draw, I actually trained with chucks for over 20 years. They will kick your butt until you master them and I had many lumps and bruises to prove it. A guy I was training with actually managed to smack himself in the nuts and ended up in the ER. :shake:

If I'm at the CP bash, I would give TimBone my steak knife with about three minutes left in his waiting period, just to see how fast he can open the package.

Yeah, my match finally arrives....and the dude I'm battling has trained to a master level with nunchucks, and DRAWS FREAKING NUNCHUCKS.


THIS IS BULLSHIT.

I'll be there, bud. Bruised and battered, apparently, but I'll be there.

Am I to assume that you're not highly trained in flame throwers?

Can Tbone outrun Bawan to get somewhere to lock himself in until he gets the flamethrower open?

That's certainly an option. I still contend that he can just ask around for a knife, too.

Joe's bathroom, but he has to be careful he doesn't trip and fall over a passed out ENDelt right in front of the bathroom door.

So he has 8 minutes to open the clamshell, but only a glass bottle to do it with?

These should have been TimBone's back up weapon
http://www.earthween.com/ideas/image...ppers-big2.jpg

Never mind, he doesn't get the glass bottle during his prep time at all. Does the venue figure into this? Can he find scissors?

Only if it's Rosie O'Donnel and Whoopi Goldberg

Flamethrower spewing Greek fire wins the day.

BAWAN!

Mr. Bone's flame thrower is shrinkwrapped and I'm 6 feet away with a pair of chucks, think about that for a second dude. There is zero chance that thing gets unwrapped and put to use. :hmmm: I like Mr. Bone, but he's going to get abused in this one.

If I'm reading it correctly, he has the 8 minutes of prep time to get it unwrapped.

Sorry Bone.

You dead.

I still love you.

You're reading correctly but not very thoroughly. Read that first paragraph in the OP sport.

I posted virtually the same thing when someone else drew them. That’s a tough ass draw to try to kill someone with if you don’t know wtf you’re doing.

GET HIM A BODY BAG!!! YEEAAAHHHHHH!!!

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Don't forget your 2 second head start. RIP Timbone.

RIP Tim

Game over

You are the Meme Master, sir. But I vote for flamethrowers. Besides, you won. My vote was nothing.

Apparently TimBone lost out to the modern consumer world and shipping policies. Bwana moves to the second round, and the flame thrower remains firmly secured in its packaging.

Firmly secure, or was he able to get it at least partially undone? Just asking in case this same weapon shows up in a future match.

I'm going to guess that he got it partially open and then cut himself on one of the sharp plastic edges. Based on my experience, that's what generally happens.

You could give Bwana a crockpot meatball toothpick as his main weapon in this scenario and I'd still pick him.

But Bwana gets a 2 second head start with a 6 feet gap. He's going to brain T-Bone before the match even starts.

Tbone got proper rogered on this one. Just a brutal draw that probably would've even taken down MoHillbilly back in the day...

The Meat Circle